开场：
Hello, I am the host for the topic today.
First, let me introduce myself.
I am karen.
I work in FANDENGDUSHU.
I like taking photo and cooking food, so if you a need photographer or a chef, just call me. I will be glad to help you.
ok,
Today our topic is nonviolent communication.
The name is from a book.
As a good citizen, perhaps we never thought about the relationship with "violence." However, if you pay attention to the way of communication in our life you will find that some words do hurt people!
Criticism, blame, labels, comparisons, insults, put-downs and refusal to respond, all these will bring us emotional injury, even more painful than physical injury. It makes us indifferent, isolated, hostile.
Before reading this book, I never realize that I was so violent.
I thought I was a gentle mother.
I thought that I was a good wife
but in fact it was not.
I once threatened the child to say that if you don't go home again, I will leave you alone.
I said, if you don’t pick up the toys, I will throw them out.
I often complain my husband who always works too late.
I hate doing lots of housework and I think I have no choice.
Also, you see, I am still a person who especially likes to blame myself.
So my life is not very happy.
But after reading this book, I realize that there exists such a harmonious way of communication. It helps me to love myself and repair the relationship with my family.
I strongly recommend it to you all.
Before sharing what is nonviolent communication, let's talk about some questions.
讨论问题：
1. what do you think is the biggest obstacle in communication?
2. When you are very angry, what will you do?
3. How to be a good listener?
角色扮演：
1. If you are 35 years old but single，your father push you to get married，what would you say to him？
2. If your husband get drunk and went home very late, how would you communicate with him?
演讲：
What is Nonviolent Communication?
"Nonviolent Communication shows us a way of being very honest, without any criticism, blame, labels, comparisons, insults, or put-downs.
There are four components of the NVC model.
Four components of NVC:
1. Observations(观察）
2. feelings（感受）
3. needs（需要）
4. requests（请求）
The first component of NVC is to observe without evaluating
For example, you are a lazy man. Is it an observation or an evaluation?
You can say, you did't take a bath for one week. This is the truth.
When we combine observation with evaluation, others are apt to hear criticism and resist what we are saying.
The second component of NVC is to express how we are feeling, are we hurt, scared, joyful, sad, irritated?
Here we need to distinguish feelings from thoughts, distinguish between what we feel and what we think we are.
For example, I feel you don't love me. Is it a feeling?
No, that is thoughts.
The husband may respond, I work so hard just for this family, why you say I don't love you?
You can say, I feel sad. This is a feeling.
The third component of NVC is to express our needs, the root of feelings.
Unfortunately, most of us have never been taught to think in terms of needs.
we are used to think about what's wrong with other people when our needs aren't being fulfilled.
If we criticize someone, people tend to self-defense or counterattack.
but if we can express what we need directly, we can get respond compassionately.
If we don't value our needs, others may not either.
Why we are angry? because we have some needs that are not being fulfilled.
So we need to focusing attention to what we are needing.
The fourth and final component of NVC is to make a request.
We need to express what we are requesting rather than what we are not requesting.
Yes, it can be difficult to make clear requests, but think how hard it will be for others to respond to our request if we are not even clear.
Turn to example again.
You can say:
Jack, you don’t buy a flower for me in Valentine's Day.
I feel sad,
I need something special in this special day.
Can you buy a flower for me next Valentine’s Day.
I think Jack will promise you easily.
Here,
I want to say that most of good man, good man, they don't know they should buy a flower in Valentine's Day.
You know?
So the above 4 components is a full NVC model.
It teach us how to clearly express how I am without blaming or criticizing.
I observe, I feel, because, I request.
It can also be used in listening, without hearing blame or criticism.
You observe, you feel, so you need, would you like
Do you get it?
If not, you can buy the book or you can communicate after our meeting.
If you don’t have time, you can listen to the Fandengdushu.
NVC reminds us that human nature is connected. Although each person's values and lifestyle may be different, they have common feelings and needs.
And at last, I would like to share some good sentences in this book.
金句分享：
Observing without evaluating is the highest form of human intelligence.
不带评论的观察是人类智力的最高形式。
We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel.
一旦意识不到我们是自己的主人，我们就成了危险人物。
The more faithfully you listen to the voice within you, the better you will hear what is happening outside.
你越是留意自己内心的声音，就越能够听到别人的声音。
It is impossible for us to give something to another of we don't have it ourselves.
我们无法给以别人我们没有的东西。
结尾：
We are not saints.
When we are angry, we naturally complain, criticize, laugh at others. but that will lead our life worse, that isn't what we need.
Then what is our needs?
We need air,water, food
We need fun, laughter
We need beauty, harmony, order, inspiration.
We need closeness, respect, support, trust, understanding.
So focus on what we need.
If everyone can remember the formula, "I observed... I feel like... Because... I ask..."
NVC helps us create a more peaceful state of mind by encouraging us to focus on what we are truly wanting rather than on what is wrong with others or ourselves.
To practice NVC, we need to proceed slowly, think carefully before we speak, and often just take a deep breath and not speak at all.
If enough people actually make use of NVC, we may soon live in a more peaceful and compassionate world.
（以上，语法错误就忽略咯）
哈哈，第一次主持英语角，圆满成功，✌️
前几天可把我焦虑的，喉咙痛的不行，声音沙哑，像一只蔫了的母鸡。
猛灌水，也吃药了，昨天终于好一些了，今天才能顺利上场。
这几天一直在看书，找重点，找金句，直到今天早上九点才全部写完，读了好几遍。准备还算充分。
今天现场气氛也都非常的好，大家抢着上台。
待改进的地方：
1. 分享稍微时间长了一点。
2. 舞台经验欠缺一些。
3. 串场能力弱一些。
（太久没练习英语了）
总的来说，很满意啦，加油。
谢谢班委成员们的辛苦付出。
