最新的散装囧事

Today, our cat died. My husband and I had a touching bonding moment together. Our relationship has been strained for months, and I thought this could bring us closer. He decided to bring up politics. FML

我跟我老公已经冷战了几个月了，今天我们的猫死了，终于我们才第一次依偎在一起，我本来以为我们的关系可以就这么缓和了，结果丫居然跟我打着官腔说话。FML

Today, I have the option of staying downstairs and having to listen to my father have sex with his girlfriend, or moving upstairs and having to listen to my brother's side of cybersex with his girlfriend. FML

作为一个青春期的少年，你们说我是在楼下偷听我老爸跟他的小情人做爱好呢还是到楼上偷听我哥哥跟他女朋友的网络性爱。FML

Today, marks yet another day when I've been threatened to be ruined with the words, "I know people in high places!" and had objects thrown at me at my workplace. I'm a hostess. FML

好吧，又被人威胁说要毁掉我的前途，有个员工今天在办公室对我大喊大叫，还朝我扔东西，“老子认识好多你上头的人。。。。”。可是老娘才是老板好不好。。。FML

Today, I spent $900 in kayaks and accessories. Come time to put them on the rack, my wife suggested we put one side on the rack and the other in the bed of the truck, and despite my reservations, I went with it. They flew off on the highway less than half a mile. She won't admit responsibility. FML.

大家都知道告诉公路上是不能掉头跟后退的，所以如果在高速上面不小心丢了东西，那么基本就是丢了，此为前提，今天我买了价值900美金（6000人民币）的皮划艇和配件（桨还有一个用来拉船方便的小轮车），本来我想把整个皮划艇和小轮车都装到皮卡上，但是我老婆说可以把轮子放在地上，然后把皮划艇的一半放到皮卡的车箱，一半放到轮子上（看起来特别像一个拖拉机的样子）当时我感觉特别的不妥，但是因为我老婆坚持，所以我也就这么干了。结果一上高速，不到办理地，我的拖拉机就变成了两节，皮划艇跟着小轮车跑了，问题是我老婆还一直埋怨我，说这是我的主意。   FML。

Today, my loving but absent-minded father gave me a packet of ham for my birthday, which would be pretty shit even if I hadn't been a strict vegetarian for the last 27 years. FML

虽说我不是一个绝对严格的素食主义者，但是在我过生日的时候送我一包火腿（美国的火腿是那种烤过的猪后腿，全是肉）是几个意思啊，感谢我可爱而迷糊的二货老爸。FML

原文地址：http://www.shitmylife.cn/subject/info/9