N0.4-3 The dilemma 3S Lady of China|【English Writing】

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N0.4-3

本逗比在英文习作群【WO】1班的第3篇习作出炉，感谢韦韦、玉荣、绿春三位战友及老妹展望精心给出的修改意见，你们的建议——从拼写错误到语法错误，事无巨细，逗比我前进的动力！韦韦、玉荣、绿春三位战友及老妹展望精心给出的修改意见，你们的建议——从拼写错误到语法错误，事无巨细，逗比我前进的动力！
修改意见见文末，再强调一遍，真的很详细，超级实用！**

As the female’s awakening of feminist consciousness gradually, 3s Lady (single, seventies and stuck), meaning those female who are above the average age for marriage but have no partner, and hold high income, is more and more common around the world, such as in America, China, French etc. In western countries, 3s Lady may be the label of having more freedom and choice for their life. To some extent, this is the same in China; however, the Chinese 3s Lady is facing various dilemmas comparing with those from western countries.

In China, the first dilemma is the pressure of being forced to be married from the 3s lady’s parents, relatives, and friends, even the strangers. In China, marriage is not an individual behavior, and it is usually related to the whole families even the clans. If there is a suitable age girl who is unmarried, the whole family would give so-called correct life experience and advice to her. They are usually more worried and careful about these girls' marriage than themselves. On this tomb-sweeping Day, I was visiting the Mogao Caves at Dun Huang. Suddenly, my aunt called me. It was a little strange for her to give me a call then, because she has never connected me by telephone before. On the phone, she constantly emphasized that it was time for me to find a boy-friend, and I should get married and give birth to a baby in the next year. If I do not, my grandparents would be regretful for they are being older, and I would be regarded as not meeting my finial duty. During the ten minutes, I said nothing but “yeah, yeah, I will try” in an embarrassed voice, because if I say anything against her, I would be flooded in her spit. However, I am not a 3s lady at all and just graduated. This is unimaginable to the 3s lady.

Indeed, the Chinese family meddle in the 3s lady’s marriage a lot; meanwhile, the anxiety to marriage from themselves also cannot be overlooked. As the growth of age, the 3s lady has been gradually realized that if they do not seek a husband as soon as possible, they would be facing the danger of difficult laboring or even no marriage any more. In addition, they are not willing to marry somebody. But it is really difficult for them to find someone who is not less excellent than themselves. Even though being desired for marriage, the 3s lady is hard to find an ideal Mr. Right for the reasons of their own.

What is more, the public opinion is usually like a cage for those out-standing 3s Lady. Sensitive articles like the situation of older single female of first-tier cities, the reasons for the increasing older single female, the suitable marriage age of woman etc., nearly overwhelm the 3s Lady. Surrounded by this message, the 3s lady may feel it is their own fault to be not married, and they would spontaneously start to doubt the meaning of life: Is marriage and family a female’s due option? Even though I can create more wealth for the society and may be more capable than the male in some area.

Well, I believe these situations above are familiar to you.
Then what is your opinion towards 3s lady?
And how will you deal with the similar pressure from outside if you are facing such scenes?

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韦韦点评：

建议

1. 人行为 individual behavior, action更多的是表示某一个具体的行动
2. 给到她所谓的人生经验和建议用复数
3. give a birth to a baby~ give birth to
4. regarded as not final duty~看做没履行终极义务，not meeting my final duty
5. meddle in 干涉的短语
6. maybe feel~ may feel
   评论：
   好深刻的话题，感觉我们都要当心！

玉荣点评：

建议

1. “In China, the first dilemma is the pressure of forced to be married……”
   the pressure of being forced to be married. of后先加-ing再变被动。
2. the strange，strangers
3. "In China, marriage is not an individual action, it is usually related to the total family even the clan. "
   两个完整句子中间没有连词，然后，结婚的话，应该是两个家庭，两个家族，这里用复数比较好
4. "If there is a suitable age girl is unmarried,"
   两个谓语，girl后加who变成限定从
5. "They are usually more worried and careful about these girls marriage than herself. "
   a. 这句里these girls marriage, girl加个所属格比较好的样子，these girls' marriage
   b.前面用的these girls，后面的herself变成themselves.
6. "This tomb-sweeping Day, I was visiting the Mogao Caves at Dun Huang."
   名词做状语的情况有，但是像这句中的this tomb-sweeping day我没有见过，也不知道能不能用。
   在此把我所知道的名词做状语的情况列举一下:
   a. 时间名词做状语，比如, He works day and night for his family.
   b. 这种，我查了一下据说是名词做状语表让步，east or west, home is best.
   还有些其他的，名词做状语表距离的，表地点的
7. "On the phone, she constantly emphasized that it is time for me to find a boy-friend and I should get married and give a birth to a baby in the next year. "
   and的用法，在有三个及三个以上同等地位上的概念出现时，and只需要用在连接最后一个概念。
8. "If I do not, my grandparents would be regretful because they are elder, and I would be regarded as not finial duty if not do so. "
   这句前后两个if I do not有点累赘，elder在这里想表达什么概念呢？elder多指年长的，前辈的，而且不做表语用的哟。
9. "because if I say anything going against her, I would be drowned in her spit. "
   a.被口水淹没，这样表达有点直观了哈哈，可以用flooded
   b. 把going去掉吧，这是我的感觉
10. "As the increase of age"这个年龄的增长用growth比较好，increase主要指的是量的增长，growth是主要指成长方面
11. "On the other hand"一般跟兄弟on the one hand 连用，可以选择in addition
12. " they are not willing to marry somebody. But it is really difficult for them to find someone is not less excellent than them.
    这里find someone后跟的定语从句，加个who
13. "Surround by this message"
    surround的主语是lady，被这些信息所包围环绕，所以该是surrounded
14. "Well, what is your opinion of 3s lady?"
    这个of换成towards会不会好一点？
    评论：
    整篇文章大量使用长句子，好棒！读了可以练习自己缩句找句子主干的能力。
    其实这文里说的不就是我么？虽然我并米有get much wealth....但是逼谈恋爱啊，相亲啊都是遇到过了的。人言可畏，三人成虎，众口铄金，积毁销骨啊，地球太可怕了！

绿春点评：

建议：

1. If there is a suitable age girl is unmarried, the whole family would give so-called correct life experience and advice to you。
   前面一句话里有两个is，看上去挺别扭的，后面to you,应该是to her.
2. They are usually more worried and careful about these girls marriage than the girl self.
   前面是一般时，worried是过去时,the girl self如果用herself可能更恰当一些。
   评论：
   介绍了中国剩女的几种窘境，中间一段自己的例子很有意思，刚毕业，就已经被逼婚，确实是有些无奈，于是对于真正的剩女，就会有更多的感慨了。

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About Sophie：
As an English lover, she is trying to read and translate ** Beyond Feelings ** * in spare time recently.
Welcome to correct it and communicate with her.
Thanks a lot.*

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The former:
N0.4-2 A philosopher's marriage
http://www.jianshu.com/p/4273cbc6181e