I used to be an pathetic White Left/masculine impaired left that used to complain about my parents and my circumstance, but thanks to Jordan Peterson whose amazingly enlighten book.
Book on Amazon: 12 Rules Life Antidote Chaos
12条生活规则：
The 12 Rules for Life:
In Peterson’s own words, it’s 12 rules to stop you from being pathetic, written from the perspective of someone who himself tried to stop being pathetic and is still working on it. Peterson is open about his struggles and shortcomings, unlike many authors who only reveal a carefully curated facade.
Rule 1: Stand up straight with your shoulders back. People have bad posture, and the meaning behind it can be demonstrated by animal behaviors. Peterson uses the example of the lobster. When a lobster loses a fight, and they fight all the time, it scrunches up a little. Lobsters run on serotonin and when he loses, levels go down, and when he wins, levels go up and he stretches out and is confident. Who cares? We evolutionarily diverged from lobsters 350 million years ago, but it’s still the same circuit. It’s a deep instinct to size others up when looking at them to see where they fit in the social hierarchy. If your serotonin levels fall, you get depressed and crunch forward and you’re inviting more oppression from predator personalities and can get stuck in a loop. Fixing our posture is part of the psycho-physiological loop that can help you get started back up again.
规则1：肩膀背直站起来。人的姿势不好，其背后的意义可以通过动物行为来证明。Peterson使用龙虾的例子。当一只龙虾失去了战斗力，并且他们一直在战斗时，它会稍微变形。龙虾运行在血清素上，当他失去时，水平下降，当他获胜时，水平上升，他伸出手并且有信心。谁在乎？我们从三亿五千万年前的龙虾中逐渐分化出来，但它仍然是一条龙。当他们看到他们适合社会等级的时候，这是一种深深的本能。如果你的5-羟色胺水平下降，你会感到沮丧和紧张，，并可能陷入恶性循环。改变坐姿来调节平衡是心理生理循环的一部分，让身体系统重新启动。
Lobster is from Arthropoda(low hierarchy in the evolutionary tree)
Rule 2: Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping. People often have self-contempt whether they realize it or not. Imagine someone you love and treat well. You need to treat yourself with the same respect. Take care of yourself, your room, your things, and have respect for yourself as if you’re a person with potential and is important to the people around you. If you make a pattern of bad mistakes, your life gets worse, not just for you, but for the people around you. All your actions echo in ways that cannot be imagined. Think of Stalin’s mother and the mistakes she made in life, and how the ripple effects went on to affect the millions of people around him.
规则2：把自己当成你负责帮助的人。人们常常会自轻，无论他们是否意识到。想象一下你热爱并且对待的人。你需要以同样的尊重对待自己。照顾好你自己，你的房间，你的事情，并尊重你自己，就好像你是一个有潜力的人，对你周围的人很重要。如果你犯了一个错误的模式，你的生活会变得更糟，不仅仅是为了你，而是为了你周围的人。你所有的行为都以无法想象的方式回应。
Rule 3: Choose your friends carefully. It is appropriate for you to evaluate your social surroundings and eliminate those who are hurting you. You have no ethical obligation to associate with people who are making your life worse. In fact, you are obligated to disassociate with people who are trying to destroy the structure of being, your being, society’s being. It’s not cruel, it’s sending a message that some behaviors are not to be tolerated.
规则3：仔细选择你的朋友。评估你的社交环境并消除那些伤害你的人是适当的。你没有道德义务与那些让你的生活变得更糟的人联系在一起。事实上，你有义务与那些试图摧毁存在结构，你的存在，社会存在的人分离。这并不残忍，它传达了一种信息，即某些行为是不能容忍的。
Rule 4: Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today. You need to improve, and you may even be in real bad shape, but many unfairly compare themselves to some more seemingly successful person. Up till around age 17, random comparisons to other people can make sense, but afterwards, especially age 30+, our lives become so idiosyncratic that comparisons with others become meaningless and unhelpful. You only see a slice of their life, a public facet, and are blind to the problems they conceal.
规则4：将自己与昨天的人比较，而不是今天的其他人。你需要改进，甚至可能会变得很糟糕，但许多人不公平地将自己与一些看似成功的人比较。直到17岁左右，与其他人随机比较才有意义，但之后，特别是30岁以上，我们的生活变得如此特别，与其他人的比较变得毫无意义和无益。你只能看到他们生活的一部分，一个公共的方面，并且对他们隐藏的问题一无所知。
Rule 5: Don't let children do things that make you dislike them. You aren't as nice as you think, and you will unconsciously take revenge on them. You are massively more powerful than your children, and have the ability and subconscious proclivity for tyranny deeply rooted within you.If you don't think this is true, you don't know yourself well enough. His advice on disciplinary procedure: (1) limit the rules. (2) use minimum necessary force and (3) parents should come in pairs.It's difficult and exhausting to raise children, and it's easy to make mistakes. A bad day at work, fatigue, hunger, stress, etc, can make you unreasonable.
规则5：不要让孩子做让你不喜欢他们的事情。你没有你想象的那么好，你会不自觉地报复他们。你比你的孩子强大得多，并且有能力和潜意识倾向于专横于你的暴政。如果你不认为这是真的，那么你对自己的认识不够好。他对纪律程序的建议：（1）限制规则。 （2）使用最小必要的力量和（3）父母应该成对出现。抚养孩子很困难，而且容易犯错误。特别强调的：工作中的糟糕的一天，疲劳，饥饿，压力等可以使你的行为边的不理性。
Rule 6: Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world. Life is tragic and there's malevolence. There's plenty to complain about, but if you dwell on it, you will become bitter and tread down a path that will take you to twisted places. The diaries of the Columbine killers are a chilling look into minds that dwelled on the unholy trinity of deceit, arrogance, and resentment) . So instead of cursing the tragedy that is life, transform into something meaningful. Start by stop doing something, anything, that you know to be wrong. Everyday you have choices in front of you. Stop doing and saying things that make you weak and ashamed. Do only those things that you would proudly talk about in public.
规则6：在你批评世界之前，按照完美的顺序设置你的房子。生命是悲剧，有恶意。有很多需要抱怨的地方，但如果你停留在上面，你会变得苦涩，走下一条路，将你带到扭曲的地方。哥伦拜勒校园枪击案杀手的日记是不圣洁的欺骗，傲慢和怨恨三位一体的头脑。因此，不要诅咒生活中的悲剧，而要转化为有意义的东西。从停止做某件事开始，任何事情，你知道是错的。每天你在你面前都有选择。不要做那些让你虚弱和惭愧的事情。只做那些你会在公共场合自豪地谈论的事情。
哥伦拜勒校园枪击案 ：是1999年在美国发生的一次恶性枪击事件
Rule 7: Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient). Meaning is how you protect yourself against the suffering that life entails. This means that despite the fact that we’re all emotionally wounded by life, we’ve found something that makes it all worthwhile. Meaning, Peterson says, is like an instinct, or a form of vision. It lets you know when you’re in the right place, and he says that the right place is midway between chaos and order. If you stay firmly ensconced within order, things you understand, then you can’t grow. If you stay within chaos, then you’re lost. Expediency is what you do to get yourself out of trouble here and now, but it comes at the cost of sacrificing the future for the present. So instead of doing what gets you off the hook today, aim high. Look around you and see what you can make better. Make it better. As you gain knowledge, consciously remain humble and avoid arrogance that can stealthily creep on you. Peterson also says to be aware of our shortcomings, whatever they may be; our secret resentments, hatred, cowardice, and other failings. Be slow to accuse others because we too conceal malevolent impulses, and certainly before we attempt to fix the world.
规则7：追求什么是有意义的（不是便捷、容易的得到的的）。意思是你如何保护自己免受生活所带来的痛苦。这意味着，尽管我们都受到生活的情绪伤害，但我们发现了一些使得这一切都值得的东西。Peterson说，意思就像是一种本能，或者一种视觉形式。它让你知道你什么时候在正确的地方，他说正确的地方是混乱和秩序之间的中间。如果你在秩序中保持牢固，那么你理解的东西就不能成长。如果你处于混乱状态，那么你就会迷失方向。权宜之计就是你在这里和现在摆脱困境所做的一切，但是这是以牺牲当前的未来为代价的。所以，而不是让你摆脱困境。
Rule 8: Tell the truth—or, at least, don't lie. Telling the truth can be hard in the sense that it’s often difficult to know the truth. However, we can know when we’re lying. Telling lies makes you weak. You can feel it, and others can sense it too. Meaning, according to Peterson, is associated with truth, and lying is the antithesis of meaning. Lying disassociates you with meaning, and thus reality itself. You might get away with lying for a short while, but only a short time. In Peterson’s words “It was the great and the small lies of the Nazi and Communist states that produced the deaths of millions of people.”
规则8：说实话 - 或者至少不要说谎。说真话通常很难理解真相。但是，我们可以知道我们什么时候在说谎。说谎会让你虚弱。你可以感觉到，而其他人也可以感觉到它。根据Peterson的观点，意义与真理有关，说谎是意义的对立面。说谎使你与意义脱离关系，从而与现实本身脱节。你可能会在一段时间内说谎，但时间很短。用Peterson的话说：“这是纳粹帝国主义造成数百万人死亡的巨大谎言”。
Rule 9: Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don't. A good conversation consists of you coming out wiser than you went into it. An example is when you get into an argument with your significant other, you want to win, especially if you get angry. If you’re more verbally fluent than the other person then you can win. One problem is that the other person might see something better than you, but they can’t quite articulate it as well. Always listen because there’s a possibility they’re going to tell you something that will prevent you from running headfirst into a brick wall. This is why Peterson says to listen to your enemies. They will lie about you, but they will also say true things about yourself that your friends won’t. Separate the wheat from the chaff and make your life better.
规则9：假设你正在听的讲话的人可能知道你不懂的东西。一个好的谈话包括你出来比你进入更聪明。一个例子是，当你与另一个重要人物争论时，你想赢，特别是如果你生气。如果你比其他人更口头流利，那么你就可以赢。一个问题是，另一个人可能会看到比你更好的东西，但是他们不能很好地表达它。总是倾听，因为他们有可能会告诉你一些事情，这会阻止你头朝砖墙跑。这就是为什么Peterson说要听你的敌人。他们会对你说谎，但他们也会说你的朋友不会的真实情况。去粗取精，让生活更美好。
Rule 10: Be Precise in Your Speech: There is some integral connection between communication and reality (or structures of belief as he likes to say). Language takes chaos and makes it into a ‘thing.’ As an example, imagine going through a rough patch in your life where you can’t quite put your finger on what’s wrong. This mysterious thing that’s bothering you—is it real? Yes, if it’s manifesting itself as physical discomfort. Then you talk about it and give it a name, and then this fuzzy, abstract thing turns into a specific thing. Once named, you can now do something about it. The unnameable is far more terrifying than the nameable. As an example, the movie the Blair Witch project didn’t actually name or describe the evil. Nothing happens in the movie, it’s all about the unnameable. If you can’t name something, it means it’s so terrifying to you that you can’t even think about it, and that makes you weaker. This is why Peterson is such a free speech advocate. He wants to bring things out of the realm of the unspeakable. Words have a creative power and you don’t want to create more mark and darkness by imprecise speech.
规则10：在演讲中要精确：沟通与现实（或他喜欢说的信仰结构）之间有一些完整的联系。语言会把混乱变成一件“事情”。举个例子，想象一下，在你的生活中经历了一段艰难的过程，你无法完全理解错误。这个令你困扰的神秘事物 - 是真的吗？是的，如果它表现为身体不适。然后你谈论它并给它一个名字，然后这个模糊抽象的东西变成一个具体的东西。一旦命名，你现在可以做些什么。不可名字比名字更可怕。作为一个例子，电影“布莱尔女巫”项目并没有真正指出或描述邪恶。电影中没有任何事情发生，这一切都是关于无名的。如果你不能说出某种东西，那就意味着它对你来说太可怕了，以致于你甚至无法思考它，这会让你变得更弱。这就是为什么Peterson是这样的言论自由倡导者。他想让事情摆脱不可言说的境界。言语具有创造力，你不想通过不精确的言语创造更多的标记和黑暗。
布莱尔女巫 the Blair Witch: 2006年的一个恐怖悬疑电影
Rule 11: Don’t bother children when they are skateboarding. This is mainly about masculinity. Peterson remembers seeing children doing all kinds of crazy stunts on skateboards and handrails, and believes this is an essential ingredient to develop masculinity, to try to develop competence and face danger. Jordan Peterson considers the act of sliding down a handrail to be brave and perhaps stupid as well, but overall positive. A lot of rebellious behaviour in school is often called ‘toxic masculinity,’ but Peterson would say to let them be. An example would be a figure skater that makes a 9.9 on her performance, essentially perfect. Then the next skater that follows her seems to have no hope. But she pushes herself closer to chaos, beyond her competence, and when successful, inspires awe. Judges award her 10’s. She’s gone beyond perfection into the unknown and ennobled herself as well as humanity as well.
规则11：滑板时不要打扰孩子。这主要是关于男性气质。Peterson记得看到孩子们在滑板和扶手上做各种疯狂的特技，并且认为这是培养男性气质，尝试培养能力并面临危险的基本要素。约旦·Peterson认为，滑下扶手的行为既勇敢也可能愚蠢，但总体上看是积极的。学校里许多叛逆的行为通常被称为“有毒的男子气概”，但Peterson会说让他们成为。一个例子就是一个花样滑冰运动员，她的表现总是9.9，基本上是完美的。接下来她的下一个溜冰者似乎没有希望。但是她越来越接近混乱，超越了她的能力，成功时激发了敬畏。当裁判裁定她的表演是满后，同时也限定了她探索更优秀未知世界的可能和潜力。
Rule 12: Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street. This chapter is mainly autobiographical and he writes about tragedy and pain. When tragic things are in front of you and you’re somewhat powerless, you must keep your eyes open for little opportunities that highlight the redemptive elements of life that make it all worthwhile. The title of this chapter comes from his experience of observing a local stray cat, and watching it adapt to the rough circumstances around it. Another thing you must do when life is going to pieces is to shorten your temporal horizon. Instead of thinking in months, you maybe think in hours or minutes instead. You try to just have the best next minute or hour that you can. You shrink the time frame until you can handle it, this is how you adjust to the catastrophe. You try to stay on your feet and think. Although this chapters deals about harsh things, it’s an overall positive one. Always look for what’s meaningful and soul-sustaining even when you’re where you’d rather not be.
规则12：这一章主要是自传式的，他通过观察流浪猫的生存方式来学习如何应对悲剧和痛苦。当悲惨的事情出现在你面前时，你有点无力，你必须保持睁大眼睛寻找一些机会，这些机会突出表明生命中的救赎元素，这一切都是值得的。本章的标题来自他观察当地流浪猫的经历，并观察它适应周围的粗糙情况。当生活即将结束时，你必须做的另一件事是缩短你的时间视野。而不是在几个月内思考，你可能会花几个小时或几分钟思考。你尽可能在最近的一分钟或一小时内做到最好。你缩小时间框架，直到你可以处理它，这是你如何适应灾难。你尽量站起来思考。虽然这些章节处理严酷的事情，但它是一个总体积极的事情。即使你在不想去的地方，也要始终寻找有意义和灵魂的东西。