PART 1 Expressions
1. All my hopes built on magic cancer disappear into the ether.
the ether: [ˈi:θə(r)] 太空
disappear into the ether: disappear completely
2. I had a terrible premonition that at the end of this -- once every stone is upturned and every drug tried -- my family will have nothing left.
premonition:[ˌpri:məˈnɪʃn] a feeling that sth is going to happen, especially sth unpleasant （尤指不详的）预感
a premonition of disaster
He had a premonition that he would never see her again.
premonitory: (a.) eg. premonitory symptoms of the disease
3. Carol helped me get into my sleep costume for the Christmas pageant year after year.
pageant: [ˈpædʒənt] (n.) 穿古代衣服的游行；华丽盛大的场景
a beauty pageant: 选美比赛
4. I couldn't figure out what to say when we pulled away and I found I was just staring into her smiling face, stammering something about how sorry I was.
stammer: (v.)/(n.) 口吃；结结巴巴地说
"W-w-what?" he stammered.
Jeff spoke with a slight stammer.
stammer sth (out)
She was barely able to stammer out a description of her attacker.
5. It was only partway through the service that I began to hope that that Christmas feeling would sink in as the night gathered and the music slowed.
partway: (ad.) informal, for some of the distance or after some of the time has passed
I got the buss partway.
partway through/ along/ down sth
She left partway through the two-year contract.
6. The wind is at your back.
"wind at your back"来源于方帆时代的航船谚语，当风从船尾吹过来时，帆船就能向前行进。
It's also an Irish blessing:
May the roads rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sunshine warm you face,
May the rains fall soft upon your fields
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.
7. Her sunny-side-up Facebook posts brimming with positivity and gently ironic updates.
brim: （n.）边缘
be filled/ full to the brim: completely full
The cup was filled to the brim with coffee.
brim with tears: (v.) 热泪盈眶
Her eyes brimmed with tears.
be brimming (over) with sth: to have a lot of particular thing, quality, or emotion
He seemed to be brimming with confidence.
Rob was just brimming with enthusiasm.
PART 2 Thoughts
很多时候，我们在朋友圈里发着一张张看似幸福洋溢的照片，告诉别人，我过得很好，然而把一切的恐惧、孤单留给自己。就像这一章里作者写的那样，她在炼狱式的治疗过程中依然在脸书上跟新着笑容满溢的照片，讲述着一个个愉快的、积极向上的故事，然而终究的终究，她不过是一个把内心的恐惧和痛苦掩藏起来的人而已，真正的她，是一个不知道明天会如何，只得依靠着内心微弱的希望而坚持活下去的一个人而已。这两周被朋友推荐去看了《结爱》这部电视剧，被里面的赵松这一角色所说的一段话感动，他说，当他看着千花毫无保留的付出，一个人假装坚强的面对这个世界，他很心疼，他不希望她再那么辛苦下去。张爱玲说，因为懂得，所以慈悲。这个世界上不乏有人能欣赏一个人美丽的容颜或者智慧或者开朗的性格，然而很少有人能读懂我们内心的沧桑、孤独和恐惧并且愿意去遮风挡雨。