Me:Actually I was pretty lost these days. I don't know who I am. And where I want to go in my life.
I was thinking thinking thinking all the time. Some moments,I caught something up. But when I looked into it,I realized noooooo. U shouldn't be like that
I tell u what. I envy u. U know how ur life goes on,and u can do it. U are not affected by any thing. U live in what u love and believes. U live well and amazingly.
Me. Just A lost girl,walking in the fog with a tiny torch. Don't know where I am who I am and where to go. U came to my life. Like a light flesh,lit everything up for a second... I am attracted by you. I start to think if I should throw away my torch,which I used to rely on to move.
Just From that moment. My whole mind just changed. All I want is u. I want to stay with u all the time. I am so sad to keep going like I used to do. Walking with my torch. Step by step. Until I arrived the place.
Just like what my friends said 'my life is shitty everytime u left me'
Actually I noticed that soon when the first time u left. I just live in a circle---miss u ---meet u---miss u ---meet u.......
But I don't know how to solve it.
'Quit '? Forget u and pretend that I never met u?
Forget u and leave all the thoughts about u alone ?
Forget u and keep moving with my torch to the place?
No.
I will never do that. But then what?
I am stuck.
Who I was when we just know each other? I fell in love with u from the beginning. But it's weird that,at that time,I was not sad about the distance between u and me all day. I just enjoyed talking to you.
Every morning, I said Good morning to u and asked u a question. Every night,u just finished the whole days journey then reply me and ask a new question then sent me some photos about ur journey. We was exploring each other. And exploring the world together with wechat though we was far away from each other.
I love u. I love ur ur personality, ur way of living and thinking.
I love you. I love traveling with ur,snowboarding with u(of course sleeping with u hahahahaha)
I love u. I love discussing questions with u. The questions about movies,books,philosophy,love,lifestyle,justice,sociology,morality,war,culture,language,food,traveling.....(wow, just checked what we talked in past few months,I noticed if I write a book about our discussion,it's gonna be an amazing book!!!!)
Now
Right now
Finally I know what's wrong with me.
I forgot why I love u. I am controlled by love. But I forgot the meaning of the words---love.
I replied to u 'Rich and handsome. '
For covering the truth that I have no idea. Shame on myself
We was just like quantum entanglement at the beginning!
Two particles are far apart, and yet somehow remain in contact with each other.
When we are together,of course it's sososososososo aaaaamazing. But when we are not,it's still not a shitty thing,is it? How wonderful to communicate with u,even not face to face. How beautiful!
I am totally clear,as the sun in the middle of the day. I decided to keep moving with my torch.
U have arrived at the place. I will get there as well in my way soon.
What I should do now is not just thinking about the way to get u closer. I should do something to get to the place. My place!
Then. I will not be in a foggy world anymore.
So
Let's stay quantum entanglement for a while. (Actually nothing changed about our relationship,just the way I am thinking now is totally different)
See u in the reeeeaaal world!My love.
I Will CATCH U SOON!
You:
Hahahahaha Adorable, to explain it by using phisics (nerd.... Im kidding).
u know, the only way to create a good conversations is when both of the sides are capable of contain it.
U probably didn't saw it but u r also falling in love with yourself.
Yeah, im living my life, almost the way i see it.
But while gaining alot, im also ready to lose everything (stupid thing to say but everything has a price) and knew that i might fall in love while traveling and... Will not be able to stay.
U dont see it, but i think that you growed up alot between our 2 meets.
Maybe just in my point of view.
I will say, think. What is important, what is logical and whats next.
At the beginning i told you "if its starting to hurt, just cut it! I will survive"
I don't want you to get hurt by my life style.
Im living as a free bird, one day here and the other there, while you living your life, which is tottaly life.
You still have alot to do before living my life style (of thats what you seek)
But time is nothing, just in our head. Age mean nothing. I saw so many old young ppl.
Dear, thank you for sharing.
I understand how do you feel, and happy that you choose what you said.
Only tlme will tell if that was right or wrong.
Thank you for everything, every moment, every word, every kiss.
Every time touching your bare skin. Hugging you, sleeping with you.
THANK YOU.
Im here, will keep on talking with you till its too hurt, unbearable.
Im deadserious.
And probably harder to understand, but if it is too much, just forget!
Your life and future is much more then a backpacker.
Believe me, i will probably never gonna live a stable life.
Miss you girl, from the buttom of my heart.
Thx for sharing, while u wrote again and again, i just said it, so if its a mess, tell me and ill try to explain.
おばかがが!!!!