The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

2017.7.20

Words and phrase

1.Everything is a blur.

blur：something that you cannot see clearly 模糊的东西

e.g.If I don’t wear my glasses, everything is a blur.

2.If you'd apply yourself like your older sister does, you'd do better and then you'd like school.

Apply yourself:  to work very hard on something for a long time

e.g. In order to get a good mark in your final exam, you need to apply yourself.

3.Empathic listening gets inside another person's frame of reference.

frame of reference: a particular set of beliefs, ideas or experiences that affects how a person understands or judges sth(影响人理解和判断事物的)信仰和准则

e.g. Everyone has his own frame of reference.

4.I really tried to put myself in his shoes.

in sb’s shoes: in someone else’s situation, especially a bad one

e.g. Put yourself in his shoes, you will understand him deeply.

Thoughts

habit5----Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood

图片发自App

看到这里还是有所触动了一下，我们总是喜欢以"我是为你好"的态度去沟通，实质上是这只是自己的"一面之词"，是根据自己的情况而言，根本就没有理解到对方的真实需求与感受，没有站在对方的角度来看待问题，去切身体会，最后是你在"苦口婆心"，但根本打不动不了别人的心。就如我有一个很要好的朋友，我总是劝他多阅读，不要老是一有时间就玩游戏。以"为他好"的理由，不断的跟他说，多阅读可以自我提升，但最后发现根本就没有用处，他就是左耳进，右耳出。现在我明白，我是以自身的角度去站在他的处境上，我认为阅读不可或缺，所以多阅读总是有好处的。但我并没理解他，没有明白他不喜欢阅读，所以再怎么努力也是徒劳一场。

要先有共鸣的理解，才能处理好一切的事情。