Summary in English
In fact as I decided to read this book ,I konw nothing about it. I only know It's a book about how to form a good habit.I just need such kinds of help to guild my life.
I have been a housewife for more than 15 years ,and living in the foreigh country all these years. So,you can image ,and it is a kind of islated,overloaded life.To be a housewife is not an easy thing which involves a lot of works.Sometimes I even think a housewife is a CEO without salary.
The whole family is like a company ,and the housewife is in charge of it ,who is responsible not only for its normal operation but also for its prosperity。
I do the same things ,year in and year out.I felt more exhausted , less effective even sometimes could not afford to bear it.
So I want a change.
In this book,the author laid stress on one's paradigms and one's characters which are based on the principles --natural laws in the human dimension just as gravity in the phycical dimension.
Paradigm is the way we"see" the world---not in terms of our visual sense of sight, but in terms of perceiving,understanding ,interpreting. Paradigms creat the lens through which we see the world.
However the Popular Personality Ethics stress a function of attitudes and behaviors,skills and techniques ,such kinds of quick fixes to solve their problems then to get success.To focus on techniquesis like cramming your way through school.You sometimes get by,perhaps even get good grades,but if you don't pay the price day in day out,you never achieve true mastery of the subjects you study. So If your Paradigm,your map is wrong,how can you find the right place even though you might work on your behavior and your attitude hard.The fundamental problem has nothing to do with your behavior or your attitude .The point is ,you'd still be lost with having a wrong map.
So the primary greatness is your paradigm,not your attitude or behavior which is the secondary greatness.
Paradigm is a map which lead your attitude and your beahivor. However Paradigm is the way we "see" the world,not the real world.
We simply assume that the way we see things is the way they really are or the way they should be .If you want to find the right place ,your map or your Paradigm should as much as close to these principles or natural laws. You should have a Paradigm-Shift.The more closely our maps or paradigms are aligned with these principles or natural laws,the more accutate and functional they will be. This Paradigm-Shift is a inside-out change.
After solving several complex concepts ,the author comes to the topic---the 7 habtis.
The 7 Habits ----An Overview
Our characters is a composite of our habits.A habit is the intersection of knowledge ,skill and desire.The 7 habits are in harmony with the natural laws of growth,and they move us progressively on a Matutity Continuum from dependence to independence to interdependence.
True independence of character empowers us to act rather than be acted upon.
Interdependence is a choice only independent people can make.
The 7 habits are habits of effectiveness.Because they are based on principles,they bring the maximum long-term beneficial results possible.They are based on a paradigm of effiectiveness taht is in harmaony with a natural law, a principle called the P/PC Balance.
Habit One ,Be Proactive
We ,the unique human ,have the “self-awareness”to evaluate and learn from others' experiences as well as our own.That is why we can make and break our habits.
Between stimulus and response, human has the freedom to choose.Proactivity means that as human beings, we are responsible for our own lives.We have the initiative and the responsibility to make things happen.Responsibility- reponse-ability - the ability to choose our response.
Reactive People Proactive People
behavior is a function of conditions behavior is a function of decisions
driven byfeelings driven by values
be acted upon to act
love is a feeling love is a verb
focus efforts in Circle of Concern focus efforts in Circle of Influence
Our basic nature is to act ,and not be acted upon.We can choose our reponse to particular circumstances ,this empowers us to creat circumstances.
Proactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Infiuence.They work on the tings they can do something about.Their energy is positive,enlargng their Circle of Infiuence to increase.
Reactive people focus on their efforts in the Circle of Concern.They focus on the things which they have no control,which causes their Circle of Concern to shrink.
The problems we face fall in one of three areas :Direct Control, Indirect Control and No Control.
While we arefree to choose our actions, we arenot freeto choose the consequence of those actions.When we pick up one end of the stick, we pick up the other.The proactive approach to a mistake is to acknowledge it instantly,correct and learn from it.
Be a light, not a judge.
Be a model, not a critic.
Be part of the solution, not part of the problem.