雅思写作真题解析:20170930(小作文)

Writing Task 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The diagram below shows the process of making soft cheese.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write about 150 words

雅思写作真题解析:20170930(小作文)_第1张图片

【考题解析】

流程图主要可以分为两类:工序图和生长图。这道题是工序图。

对于这类题,备考的过程中,务必牢记以下几点:

主要使用现在时

主要使用被动语态

在谈到图表中的事物时,不要轻易使用the

搞清楚图表中每个事物在整个过程中的作用

通过逻辑衔接词,时间,以及表达位置变化的动词进行事物间的衔接。

这幅图展现了soft cheese的制作过程。没有出现流程图常见的写作陷阱(同一道工序的不同加工方法),但时间出现了三次:2 hrs, 50 hrs, 8hrs。在图表作文的逻辑衔接上,有时间,就优先考虑用时间进行上下句间的逻辑衔接,而不是使用如firstly,secondly, then, after that等逻辑衔接用词。

【参考范文和解析】

开头段:对题干进行改写

The diagram below shows the process of making soft cheese.

The flow chart gives a breakdown of how soft cheese is produced through a series of procedures.

这里其实就是套用了一个常用的句式:The flow chart gives a breakdown of how...is/are produced/made/manufactured/built through a series of procedures. 而soft cheese是照抄的。所以一点也不难,考试时要一分钟搞定。

中间段:分两段,中间段1从water和milk开始写,到fermentation结束。剩下的写中间段2.只所以这样分段,是因为工序图写作经常是把原材料全部添加完分成一段。

中间段1: 依次去写water, milk, mixing, cooling(5℃, 2hrs), salt,fermentation(37℃, )(提示:范文中加粗部分, 50小时放到中间段2写, 这样有助于段落间的逻辑衔接)

第一句:

To begin with,waterandmilk, the main raw materials for making soft cheese, are poured into a mixer to be mixed together.

解析:

To begin with 常用逻辑衔接词,有助于CC这块的得分。

water and milk(图表事物1 & 2), the main raw materials for making soft cheese(事物作用)

紧扣图表信息展开写作,有助于TA这块的得分。这里the main material for making soft cheese是water and milk的同位语,又凸显语言使用能力,有助于GRA的得分。

are poured into a mixer(图表事物3) to be mixted together(事物作用)

这里pour into即是通过表达位置变化的动词来衔接water and milk和其后的a mixer, 而从mixing到mixer,即从动词ing形态去想其相关的名词:改变词性,这是同义替换常用招数。

第二句:

Then, the mixed liquid is transferred into a cooling container to be cooled at the temperature of 5℃ for 2 hours.

解析:

Then, 逻辑衔接词,有助于CC的得分

the mixed liquid,定冠词特指上句中的water and milk。使得上下句之间衔接紧密,有助于CC的得分;mixed liquid替换water and milk, 用词丰富,有助于LR的得分。(小窍门:如果表述的是名词1 and 名词2,则可以用名词3概况名词1和2)

is transferred into,通过表达位置变化的动词进行前后事物的衔接,有助于CC的得分。

a cooling container(图表事物) to be cooled(事物作用),有助于TA的得分

at the temperature of 5℃ for 2 hours 图表信息表述 ,有助于TA的得分。

第三句:

After that, salt is added to the mixture before the start of fermentation, where the mixture of the three materials is fermented at the moderate temperature as high as 37 degree.

After that,逻辑衔接词,有助于CC的得分

salt is added to the mixture,这里the mixture指的还是water and milk,但又换了种说法,有助于LR的得分

before the start of fermentation(图表事物), where the mixture of the three materials is fermented(事物作用)句式结构复杂多变,有助于GRA的得分,

at the moderate temperature as high as 37 degree 图表信息 表述,有助于TA的得分,又因为和上句的表达不一样,因此也有助于LR和GRA的得分。

未完待续。

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