如果你不小心点进来了，不好意思，这是个英语学习的小天地，会员制。会员目前只有我一个人，基本上就是我一个人学学英语、扯扯蛋的地方。看这个专辑的名称，你就会明白一切～
这个光头男人，叫 leo babauta ，六个孩子他爹。作家。我追随Leo的Blog 已经有段日子了，读他的文章，会给人一种“我英文好牛逼啊”的错觉，不用查字典，用词简单，用句流畅。我把他的文章做成音频节目，你们会不会听？
扯远了，今天推荐他的一篇最新文章：How to Make Friends. 如何交朋友。（如果要看完整文章，不需要我的中文穿插扯蛋，直接点文末链接。）
做到这十点，不愁没有真朋友：
In my experience, people (generally) want to be friends with other people who follow these general guidelines:
1.Be positive, not negative. （积极）
While it’s OK to share your struggles with people (I recommend it), if you’re complaining all the time, and are generally negative about other people and life in general, then people get tired of the complaining and negativity. We have enough trouble in life without having friends who are negative all the time. That said, a good friend will always listen when you’re in need, so don’t take this as “never complain.” Instead, just generally try to be a positive person, and if you have struggles, also try to show how you’re tackling those struggles with a positive outlook.
谁愿意跟整天满腹牢骚的人呆在一起？如果你是个热爱生活、积极向上的人，周围的人会更加愿意与你相处。
2.Be interested & a good listener. （做个好的聆听者）
Be interested in other people! Don’t make the mistake of only wanting to talk about your stuff, and being bored and unimpressed with what other people are doing. I try to find the interesting in everyone, even if they lead a relatively uneventful life, there’s something fascinating about them. When someone wants to talk, listen. If they only talk about themselves all day and don’t want to hear your stuff, then they probably aren’t going to be a great friend, but still give them a chance and be interested for as long as you can.
试着去发现每个人有意思的地方，学会聆听，不要总是谈论自己。（我发觉有些男士，在饭局的时候就爱说自己多牛逼多牛逼，殊不知价值不是自己给自己吹上去的～只说不听，真的会让自己贬值不少～～）
3.Be excited about life, have energy. （生活有激情）
We generally don’t want a friend who is bored all the time. Someone who is excited about life, interested in things, has good energy … that’s someone you’d by hyped to be around. Not super hyper, necessarily, but just containing a positive energy.
这就是年轻的状态啊，无关物理年龄。有的人六七十了还活力四射，有的人二十几岁却对生活失去兴趣。
4. Do interesting things. （好奇心）
If you’re excited about life, you manifest that by doing new things, learning, creating, exploring, trying out new experiences, meeting new people. If you are this kind of person, you’ll be interesting. If you shut out life, people might not be as interested.
对生活充满好奇，对新鲜事新鲜人，都有兴趣去尝试，去接触。
5. Tell good stories. （会讲故事）
No one wants to listen to someone who tells long boring stories. After the first two such stories, people generally start tuning you out. So try to keep your stories shorter, unless you can tell people are interested. Find something interesting to hook their curiosity, and then draw them in with that curiosity until you satisfy it with a good ending. Practice your storytelling when you meet people, and try to get better at it. It’s not one of my strong points, to be honest, but I recognize that and am trying to be better.
说故事能引人入胜，真是个绝佳的生存技能。到哪儿都能用上！（有一天，霖哥上楼梯要我抱，我灵机一动，讲了一个小兔子怎么上楼梯的故事，他蹦蹦跳跳就窜上了五楼。比起抱着34斤重的他，我还是省了不少工作量的。）
6. Smile. （笑）
I’m not saying you should have a fake smile, but a smile puts you in a friendly mood, versus frowning at someone. Don’t smile all the time, or at inappropriate times. Just generally have a smiling disposition, as it signals that you like the person (also try to genuinely like the person, moving away from tendencies to judge them or complain about them).
笑容是关系融洽的催化剂。但是，笑也是一门艺术～
7. Put yourself out there, be willing to try things. （勇于尝试）
Sing in public even if that scares you. Try new food, new experiences, new ideas. This open-mindedness attracts others who are looking to get the most out of life.
为啥作者不把这条跟第四条好奇心合并起来。可能是为了凑足十条。嗯。
8. Be calm, not overly dramatic. （淡定）
While it’s great to have a lot of energy, people who are overly dramatic about little things can be a turn-off. So learn to react to most problems as if they’re not a big deal (because they usually aren’t), and handle them with calmness instead of overreacting.
没什么大不了的。我老妈至理名言，“天塌下来了，还有大个子顶着！” 淡定，平静，处理好自己的情绪。
9. Be authentic, don’t try to show off. （真诚）
All of the above recommendations might seem like I’m recommending that you be someone you’re not. I’m not recommending that at all.
Instead, I want you to be an authentic version of yourself (there are lots of versions of ourselves) — but choose the version that is more in the directions recommended above, in general.
If there is a positive and negative version of you, generally choose the positive version. But most importantly, don’t try to impress people all the time — if you’re confident in yourself, you don’t need to impress. Instead, be a genuine person, not just the “best you.” When this recommendation is in conflict with any of the above recommendations, choose this one.
自己认为的自己，自己觉得自己可以变成的那个自己，自己想展示给别人的那个自己，别人眼中的自己...... 真实的自己到底在哪儿呢？
在每一次的对话里，在每一种情绪里，在每一天的生活里。
10. Be happy with yourself & confident. （开心又自信）
This is just something that’s good to do for yourself. Be happy with who you are, even the flaws. If you are, you can be confident that you’re good enough when you meet someone else.
People generally don’t respect someone who is constantly harsh on themselves. How can you learn to be happy with yourself? That’s a whole other post, but in general, become aware of any tendency to be harsh and critical of yourself, and don’t let yourself stew in those kinds of thoughts.
Start to see the good in yourself, the genuine heart and caring nature, and let that be the story you tell yourself about yourself.
为自己感到高兴。
（我真是高兴不起来，有时候感觉自己就是一坨屎。也许，下一篇文章，我们来聊聊，“怎样让自己喜欢上自己”。）
关注Leo 的 Blog，可以去：
zenhabits.net/friends/