Ⅱ 列王的纷争 Chapter52 珊莎
SANSA
南方的天空浓烟密布。乌黑的烟柱从远方成百火堆中盘旋升起，黑色的手指掩盖星辰。黑水河对岸，火焰占满地平线，彻夜燃烧，而在这一边，小恶魔点燃整个河滨地区：码头和仓库，民宅和妓院，城墙外的一切统统焚毁。
The southern sky was black with smoke. It rose swirling off a hundred distant fires, its sooty fingers smudging out the stars. Across the Blackwater Rush, a line of flame burned nightly from horizon to horizon, while on this side the Imp had fired the whole riverfront: docks and warehouses, homes and brothels, everything outside the city walls.
即使身处红堡，空气中也有灰烬的味道。当珊莎在宁静的神木林里找到唐托斯爵士时，他看到她的红眼睛，便问她是否哭过。“只是烟尘的关系，”她撒谎，“似乎半个御林都在燃烧。”
Even in the Red Keep, the air tasted of ashes. When Sansa found Ser Dontos in the quiet of the godswood, he asked if she’d been crying. “It’s only from the smoke,” she lied. “It looks as though half the kingswood is burning.”
“史坦尼斯公爵想把小恶魔的野人熏出森林。”唐托斯说话时摇摇晃晃，一手扶住栗树树干，红黄相间的小丑装上沾染一片酒渍。“他们杀死他的斥候，袭击他的辎重车队，还到处放火。我听小恶魔对太后说，史坦尼斯得训练他的马儿吃灰烬，因为他将找不到一片叶子。以前身为骑士，听不到这许多事，如今成了弄臣，他们却对我视若无睹，谈话时当我不存在。我告诉您——”他俯身靠近，酒气直喷到她脸上“——八爪蜘蛛花钱收买一切琐碎消息，我想月童已为他服务好多年了。”
“Lord Stannis wants to smoke out the Imp’s savages.” Dontos swayed as he spoke, one hand on the trunk of a chestnut tree. A wine stain discolored the red-and-yellow motley of his tunic. “They kill his scouts and raid his baggage train. And the wildlings have been lighting fires too. The Imp told the queen that Stannis had better train his horses to eat ash, since he would find no blade of grass. I heard him say so. I hear all sorts of things as a fool that I never heard when I was a knight. They talk as though I am not there, and”—he leaned close, breathing his winey breath right in her face—“the Spider pays in gold for any little trifle. I think Moon Boy has been his for years.”
他又喝醉了。他自称可怜的佛罗理安，果真名副其实。但现在我只能指望他。“史坦尼斯公爵真的烧了风息堡的神木林？”
He is drunk again. My poor Florian he names himself, and so he is. But he is all I have. “Is it true Lord Stannis burned the godswood at Storm’s End?”
唐托斯点头。“他将树木积成一个巨大的柴堆，奉献给他的新神，红袍女祭司要他这么做的。听说他现在灵肉都归她驱使，甚至发誓一但夺取君临，便要焚毁贝勒大圣堂呢！”
Dontos nodded. “He made a great pyre of the trees as an offering to his new god. The red priestess made him do it. They say she rules him now, body and soul. He’s vowed to burn the Great Sept of Baelor too, if he takes the city.”
“烧就烧吧。”珊莎初次见到大圣堂的大理石墙和七座水晶塔时，真以为这是世上最美的建筑，但自乔佛里在圣堂讲坛上将父亲斩首后，她对之则是满心厌恶。“烧干净最好。”
“Let him.” When Sansa had first beheld the Great Sept with its marble walls and seven crystal towers, she’d thought it was the most beautiful building in the world, but that had been before Joffrey beheaded her father on its steps. “I want it burned.”
“嘘，孩子，诸神会听见的。”
“Hush, child, the gods will hear you.”
“怎么会？他们从不听我祈祷。”
“Why should they? They never hear my prayers.”
“他们在听，所以才派我来，不是吗？”
“Yes they do. They sent me to you, didn’t they?”
珊莎用手抠抠树皮，觉得自己头晕眼花，似乎有点发烧。“就算他们派你来，又有什么用呢？你答应带我回家，可我一直走不了。”
Sansa picked at the bark of a tree. She felt light-headed, almost feverish. “They sent you, but what good have you done? You promised you would take me home, but I’m still here.”
唐托斯拍拍她手臂。“我跟某个人谈过了，他是我的好朋友……也是您的朋友，小姐。等时机一到，他便会雇艘快船，送我们去安全的地方。”
Dontos patted her arm. “I’ve spoken to a certain man I know, a good friend to me … and you, my lady. He will hire a swift ship to take us to safety, when the time is right.”
“现在正是时机，”珊莎坚持，“现在开战在即，没人会注意我。我想我们只要行动，就一定能溜出去。”
“The time is right now,” Sansa insisted, “before the fighting starts. They’ve forgotten about me. I know we could slip away if we tried.”
“孩子呀，孩子。”唐托斯摇摇头。“溜出红堡很简单，我们能做到。但每道城门都戒备森严，何况小恶魔还封锁了河道。”
“Child, child.” Dontos shook his head. “Out of the castle, yes, we could do that, but the city gates are more heavily guarded than ever, and the Imp has even closed off the river.”
这是事实。如今黑水河比以往任何时候都空旷。所有渡船都撤到北岸，而商船要么逃走，要么被小恶魔扣留，用于作战。放眼望去，唯一的船是国王的战舰。它们不断来回穿梭，保持在河中央的深水区，与南岸史坦尼斯的弓手飞箭往来。
It was true. The Blackwater Rush was as empty as Sansa had ever seen it. All the ferries had been withdrawn to the north bank, and the trading galleys had fled or been seized by the Imp to be made over for battle. The only ships to be seen were the king’s war galleys. They rowed endlessly up and down, staying to the deep water in the middle of the river and exchanging flights of arrows with Stannis’s archers on the south shore.
史坦尼斯公爵本人还在行军，但他的先锋部队已于两天前趁一个月黑风高的晚上先行抵达。早上醒来，全君临都看到了他们的帐篷与旗帜。珊莎听说他们有五千人之多，几乎相当于城里金袍卫士的总数。敌人营地里飘扬着佛索威家族的青苹果旗和红苹果旗，伊斯蒙家族的海龟旗以及佛罗伦家族的狐狸鲜花旗，他们的指挥官是古德·莫里根爵士，一个著名的南方骑士，从前是蓝礼的绿衣卫。他的旗帜乃是一只飞鸦，在风雨欲来的碧绿天空中大展黑翅。但最令整个城市揪心的还是那些淡黄的旗，长长的旗穗拖在后面，如火焰一样摇曳，原本该是家族纹章的地方放着神的标记：光之王的烈焰红心。
Lord Stannis himself was still on the march, but his vanguard had appeared two nights ago during the black of the moon. King’s Landing had woken to the sight of their tents and banners. They were five thousand, Sansa had heard, near as many as all the gold cloaks in the city. They flew the red or green apples of House Fossoway, the turtle of Estermont, and the fox-and-flowers of Florent, and their commander was Ser Guyard Morrigen, a famous southron knight who men now called Guyard the Green. His standard showed a crow in flight, its black wings spread wide against a storm-green sky. But it was the pale yellow banners that worried the city. Long ragged tails streamed behind them like flickering flames, and in place of a lord’s sigil they bore the device of a god: the burning heart of the Lord of Light.
“大家都说，等史坦尼斯亲临城下，他的人马将达到乔佛里的十倍。”
“When Stannis comes, he’ll have ten times as many men as Joffrey does, everyone says so.”
唐托斯捏捏她肩膀。“亲爱的，兵力多寡并不重要，他们在大河对岸，没有船过不来。”
Dontos squeezed her shoulder. “The size of his host does not matter, sweetling, so long as they are on the wrong side of the river. Stannis cannot cross without ships.”
“可他有船，而且比乔佛里的多。”
“He has ships. More than Joffrey.”
“风息堡到这儿路程遥远，舰队需经马赛岬，穿过喉道，进入黑水湾。或许正道诸神会卷起风暴，把他们统统抹去。”唐托斯充满希望地微笑。“我知道您很不容易，但是孩子，千万得耐心。等我的朋友回到都城，我们就会有船。您不要怕，请相信您的佛罗理安吧。”
“It’s a long sail from Storm’s End, the fleet will need to come up Massey’s Hook and through the Gullet and across Blackwater Bay. Perhaps the good gods will send a storm to sweep them from the seas.” Dontos gave a hopeful smile. “It is not easy for you, I know. You must be patient, child. When my friend returns to the city, we shall have our ship. Have faith in your Florian, and try not to be afraid.”
珊莎的指甲深深掐进掌心，肚子里则有恐惧绞动抽搐，一天比一天强烈。弥赛菈公主离去那天的经历一直在梦中纠缠不休，梦魇黑暗而令人窒息，令她每每在深晚惊醒，拼命喘气。群众的尖叫萦绕耳际，不成词句，活像动物的嘶喊。他们把她团团围住，各种东西朝她扔来，还想将她拉下马，若不是猎狗杀开一条血路来救她，后果不堪设想。想想看，他们将总主教撕成碎片，用石头砸扁了艾伦爵士的头。您不要怕！他居然要我别害怕！
Sansa dug her nails into her hand. She could feel the fear in her tummy, twisting and pinching, worse every day. Nightmares of the day Princess Myrcella had sailed still troubled her sleep; dark suffocating dreams that woke her in the black of night, struggling for breath. She could hear the people screaming at her, screaming without words, like animals. They had hemmed her in and thrown filth at her and tried to pull her off her horse, and would have done worse if the Hound had not cut his way to her side. They had torn the High Septon to pieces and smashed in Ser Aron’s head with a rock. Try not to be afraid! he said.
其实全城都陷入了恐慌。珊莎在城堡围墙上看到，老百姓们统统关闭窗户，上好门闩，似乎这样就能保住性命。上次君临城陷，兰尼斯特家肆意奸淫掳掠，带走几百条人命，那一次还是开城投降的。而今小恶魔意图抵抗，城破之后的下场可想而知。
The whole city was afraid. Sansa could see it from the castle walls. The smallfolk were hiding themselves behind closed shutters and barred doors as if that would keep them safe. The last time King’s Landing had fallen, the Lannisters looted and raped as they pleased and put hundreds to the sword, even though the city had opened its gates. This time the Imp meant to fight, and a city that fought could expect no mercy at all.
唐托斯还在喋喋不休。“如果我还是骑士，就得穿上盔甲，和其他人一起守城。我真该亲吻乔佛里国王的脚，真心实意地感谢他的安排。”
Dontos was prattling on. “If I were still a knight, I should have to put on armor and man the walls with the rest. I ought to kiss King Joffrey’s feet and thank him sweetly.”
“你去谢他把你变成弄臣，他就会让你再做回骑士，”珊莎尖刻地说。
“If you thanked him for making you a fool, he’d make you a knight again,” Sansa said sharply.
唐托斯咯咯笑道：“我的琼琪是个聪明姑娘，不是吗？”
Dontos chuckled. “My Jonquil’s a clever girl, isn’t she?”
“乔佛里和他母亲说我很笨。”
“Joffrey and his mother say I’m stupid.”
“他们这样想就好，亲爱的，这样您更安全。瑟曦太后，小恶魔以及瓦里斯这些人当彼此是毒蛇猛兽，像老鹰一样互相盯得紧紧的，到处花钱雇人探听消息，但坦妲伯爵夫人的女儿就没人劳神关心，对不对？”唐托斯捂住嘴巴，打了个嗝。“诸神保佑您，我的小琼琪。”他的泪水涌上来，是酒的缘故。“快给您的佛罗理安一个小小的吻吧。一个幸运之吻。”他摇摇晃晃地向她靠近。
“Let them. You’re safer that way, sweetling. Queen Cersei and the Imp and Lord Varys and their like, they all watch each other keen as hawks, and pay this one and that one to spy out what the others are doing, but no one ever troubles themselves about Lady Tanda’s daughter, do they?” Dontos covered his mouth to stifle a burp. “Gods preserve you, my little Jonquil.” He was growing weepy. The wine did that to him. “Give your Florian a little kiss now. A kiss for luck.” He swayed toward her.
珊莎避开他探出的湿润双唇，轻轻吻在他胡子拉碴的脸颊上，并跟他道晚安，竭尽全力才没有哭泣。最近她哭得太多。这样很不体面，她知道，但就是控制不住。有时为了一些琐事，眼泪便掉下来，怎么都收不住。
Sansa dodged the wet groping lips, kissed him lightly on an unshaven cheek, and bid him good night. It took all her strength not to weep. She had been weeping too much of late. It was unseemly, she knew, but she could not seem to help herself; the tears would come, sometimes over a trifle, and nothing she did could hold them back.
梅葛楼的吊桥无人看守。小恶魔将大部分金袍卫士调去守城，而白袍的御林铁卫们而今也忙得不可开交，无暇步步尾随她。只要别离开城堡，珊莎想去哪儿就可以去哪儿，但她哪儿也不想去。
The drawbridge to Maegor’s Holdfast was unguarded. The Imp had moved most of the gold cloaks to the city walls, and the white knights of the Kingsguard had duties more important than dogging her heels. Sansa could go where she would so long as she did not try to leave the castle, but there was nowhere she wanted to go.
她穿过布满尖锐铁刺的干涸护城河，走上狭窄的高架楼梯，当到达卧房门口时，居然不想进去。房间的墙壁让她窒息，明知里面窗户大开，她仍然感觉空气稀薄。
She crossed over the dry moat with its cruel iron spikes and made her way up the narrow turnpike stair, but when she reached the door of her bedchamber she could not bear to enter. The very walls of the room made her feel trapped; even with the window opened wide it felt as though there were no air to breathe.
于是珊莎转回楼梯，继续攀登。浓烟遮掩了群星和一轮纤细的新月，堡顶黑呼呼的，满是阴影。但从这儿看出去，全城尽在眼帘：红堡高耸的塔楼和巨大的角堡，下方如迷宫般的城市街道，西面南面是奔流的黑水，东面则是海湾，以及一丛丛烟柱和灰烬，火，到处都是火。近处，士兵擎着火炬，像蚂蚁一样爬满城墙和从城垛延伸出的塔楼。烂泥门下，飘荡的烟尘中依稀可辨三座投石机的轮廓，这是前所未有的巨型投石机，高过城墙足足二十尺。但这一切都不能减轻她的恐惧。一阵尖利的刺痛突然袭来，珊莎紧捂肚子，眼泪夺眶而出。她差点摔下去，幸亏一个影子突然闪出，用强有力的手紧扣她的胳膊，将她稳住。
Turning back to the stair, Sansa climbed. The smoke blotted out the stars and the thin crescent of moon, so the roof was dark and thick with shadows. Yet from here she could see everything: the Red Keep’s tall towers and great cornerforts, the maze of city streets beyond, to south and west the river running black, the bay to the east, the columns of smoke and cinders, and fires, fires everywhere. Soldiers crawled over the city walls like ants with torches, and crowded the hoardings that had sprouted from the ramparts. Down by the Mud Gate, outlined against the drifting smoke, she could make out the vague shape of the three huge catapults, the biggest anyone had ever seen, overtopping the walls by a good twenty feet. Yet none of it made her feel less fearful. A stab went through her, so sharp that Sansa sobbed and clutched at her belly. She might have fallen, but a shadow moved suddenly, and strong fingers grabbed her arm and steadied her.
她仓皇地抓向城垛寻求支撑，指头在粗糙的岩石上乱扒。“放开我，”她大喊。“放开！”
She grabbed a merlon for support, her fingers scrabbling at the rough stone. “Let go of me,” she cried. “Let go.”
“小小鸟认为自己真的长翅膀，是吗？还是想学你弟弟一样当瘸子啊？”
“The little bird thinks she has wings, does she? Or do you mean to end up crippled like that brother of yours?”
珊莎想挣脱他的抓握。“我不会掉下去。我只是……被你吓了一跳，如此而已。”
Sansa twisted in his grasp. “I wasn’t going to fall. It was only … you startled me, that’s all.”
“我吓着你了？我还是把你吓着了？”
“You mean I scared you. And still do.”
她深吸一口气，稳定心神。“我以为只有我一个人，我……”她瞥向别处。
She took a deep breath to calm herself. “I thought I was alone, I …” She glanced away.
“算了吧，小小鸟，你还是不敢正眼看我，对不对？”猎狗放开她。“呵呵，当你被暴民围住时，倒挺高兴看见我的脸啊，记得吗？”
“The little bird still can’t bear to look at me, can she?” The Hound released her. “You were glad enough to see my face when the mob had you, though. Remember?”
这一切，珊莎记得再清楚不过。她记得他们的吼叫，记得鲜血从石块砸破的额角沿着脸颊流淌而下，记得那个想把她从马上拉下去的男人嘴里喷出的刺鼻蒜味。她仍能感觉那几根冷酷的手指钳着自己手腕，让她失去平衡，摇摇欲坠。
Sansa remembered all too well. She remembered the way they had howled, the feel of the blood running down her cheek from where the stone had struck her, and the garlic stink on the breath of the man who had tried to pull her from her horse. She could still feel the cruel pinch of fingers on her wrist as she lost her balance and began to fall.
她以为自己就要死去，但那只手忽然一阵抽搐，五根手指一起抽搐，手的主人像马一样尖声嘶叫。胳膊落地，男一只手，另一只更强壮的手将她推回马鞍。大蒜气味的男人倒在地上，手臂断处血流如注，但周围还有许多人，有的甚至手拿棍棒。猎狗策马相迎，长剑舞成一片钢铁幻影，所经之处血肉横飞，人们四散奔逃。他所向披靡，仰天长笑，那张烧伤的可怕脸庞似乎顷刻间变了形。
She’d thought she was going to die then, but the fingers had twitched, all five at once, and the man had shrieked loud as a horse. When his hand fell away, another hand, stronger, shoved her back into her saddle. The man with the garlicky breath was on the ground, blood pumping out the stump of his arm, but there were others all around, some with clubs in hand. The Hound leapt at them, his sword a blur of steel that trailed a red mist as it swung. When they broke and ran before him he had laughed, his terrible burned face for a moment transformed.
而今，她逼自己再度正视那张脸庞，真正地看。这是礼貌，贵妇人必须随时随地都要记得有礼貌。其实最可怕的不是那些疮疤，甚至不是他嘴唇抽搐的模样，最可怕的是他那双眼睛。她从没见过如此一双充满怒火的眼睛。“我……我想我事后该去找你，”她吞吞吐吐地说，“当面向你道谢，因……因为你救了我的命……你真勇敢。”
She made herself look at that face now, really look. It was only courteous, and a lady must never forget her courtesies. The scars are not the worst part, nor even the way his mouth twitches. It’s his eyes. She had never seen eyes so full of anger. “I … I should have come to you after,” she said haltingly. “To thank you, for … for saving me … you were so brave.”
“勇敢？”他的笑声好似咆哮。“狗追老鼠有何勇气可言？他们三十个对我一个，却无一人敢直视我的眼睛。”
“Brave?” His laugh was half a snarl. “A dog doesn’t need courage to chase off rats. They had me thirty to one, and not a man of them dared face me.”
她讨厌他说话的方式，总是那么刺耳，那么怒气冲冲。“你觉得吓唬老百姓很令你愉快吗？”
She hated the way he talked, always so harsh and angry. “Does it give you joy to scare people?”
“不，杀人才让我愉快。”他的嘴巴再度抽搐。“你爱怎么皱脸都行，但在我面前，不要故作虔诚。你出身世家，可别告诉我艾德·史塔克公爵从没杀过人啊？”
“No, it gives me joy to kill people.” His mouth twitched. “Wrinkle up your face all you like, but spare me this false piety. You were a high lord’s get. Don’t tell me Lord Eddard Stark of Winterfell never killed a man.”
“他只是履行责任，没有喜欢过。”
“That was his duty. He never liked it.”
“他这么告诉你？”克里冈再次大笑。“看来你父亲不是个骗子便是个傻瓜。杀戮才是世上最美好的事。”他拔出长剑。“这就是真实。想必你尊贵的父亲大人在贝勒大圣堂前深有体会。瞧啊，临冬城公爵，国王之手，北境守护，了不得的艾德。史塔克，传承八千年之久的血脉……却被伊林·派恩一剑斩首，不是吗？你记不记得，当人头落地时，他的躯体还手舞足蹈地痉挛？”
“Is that what he told you?” Clegane laughed again. “Your father lied. Killing is the sweetest thing there is.” He drew his longsword. “Here’s your truth. Your precious father found that out on Baelor’s steps. Lord of Winterfell, Hand of the King, Warden of the North, the mighty Eddard Stark, of a line eight thousand years old … but Ilyn Payne’s blade went through his neck all the same, didn’t it? Do you remember the dance he did when his head came off his shoulders?”
珊莎突然感到一阵寒意，于是抱住自己。“你为何总这么讨厌？我是在感谢你……”
Sansa hugged herself, suddenly cold. “Why are you always so hateful? I was thanking you …”
“没错，你把我当作那些你喜欢的‘真正的骑士’。算了吧，小妹妹，你以为骑士有什么用？成天穿着黄金铠甲，一心博取女士欢心？我告诉你，骑士惟一的用处就是生来被我杀。”他将长剑锋刃抵住她脖子，就在耳朵下面，她可以感觉它的锋利。“我从十二岁时开始杀人，至今刀下之鬼已数不胜数。不论历史悠久的世家豪门，一身天鹅绒的肥佬富翁，趾高气昂的贵族骑士，是的，还有女人和小孩——人为鱼肉，我为刀俎。他们尽可以占有土地，神灵和金钱！他们尽可以彼此高呼‘爵士’！”桑铎·克里冈朝她脚边啐了一口，以示不屑。“我只要这个，”他边说边把剑从她咽喉举起，“有了它，世上我什么都不怕。”
“Just as if I was one of those true knights you love so well, yes. What do you think a knight is for, girl? You think it’s all taking favors from ladies and looking fine in gold plate? Knights are for killing.” He laid the edge of his longsword against her neck, just under her ear. Sansa could feel the sharpness of the steel. “I killed my first man at twelve. I’ve lost count of how many I’ve killed since then. High lords with old names, fat rich men dressed in velvet, knights puffed up like bladders with their honors, yes, and women and children too—they’re all meat, and I’m the butcher. Let them have their lands and their gods and their gold. Let them have their sers.” Sandor Clegane spat at her feet to show what he thought of that. “So long as I have this,” he said, lifting the sword from her throat, “there’s no man on earth I need fear.”
除了你哥哥，珊莎心想，但她控制情绪，没说出口。看来，他正如他自己所说，真是一条狗，一条坏脾气的疯狗，谁想摸他反而被咬，谁想伤他主人他也和谁拼命。“河对岸那些人你也不怕？”
Except your brother, Sansa thought, but she had better sense than to say it aloud. He is a dog, just as he says. A half-wild, mean-tempered dog that bites any hand that tries to pet him, and yet will savage any man who tries to hurt his masters. “Not even the men across the river?”
克里冈转头望向远处的火焰。“火，”他还剑入鞘。“火是懦夫的武器。”
Clegane’s eyes turned toward the distant fires. “All this burning.” He sheathed his sword. “Only cowards fight with fire.”
“史坦尼斯公爵不是懦夫。”
“Lord Stannis is no coward.”
“但也没他哥哥的气概。区区一条小河，难不倒劳勃。”
“He’s not the man his brother was either. Robert never let a little thing like a river stop him.”
“他要是过了河，你怎么办？”
“What will you do when he crosses?”
“战斗。杀人。也许被杀。”
“Fight. Kill. Die, maybe.”
“你不害怕吗？你犯下这么多罪孽，人死以后，也许会被诸神罚下七层地狱呢。”
“Aren’t you afraid? The gods might send you down to some terrible hell for all the evil you’ve done.”
“罪孽何在？”他大笑，“诸神何在？”
“What evil?” He laughed. “What gods?”
“诸神创造了我们所有人呀。”
“The gods who made us all.”
“所有人？”他嘲讽地笑道。“那你告诉我，小小鸟，什么样的神会创造出小恶魔那样的怪物？什么样的神会容忍坦妲伯爵夫人的女儿那样的弱智？如果这世上真有神灵存在，他们只是创造绵羊好让狼不挨饿，创造弱者来给强者愚弄。”
“All?” he mocked. “Tell me, little bird, what kind of god makes a monster like the Imp, or a halfwit like Lady Tanda’s daughter? If there are gods, they made sheep so wolves could eat mutton, and they made the weak for the strong to play with.”
“真正的骑士会保护弱者。”
“True knights protect the weak.”
他嗤之以鼻。“真正的骑士和诸神一样，都不存在，活在人间，倘若无法自卫，就是死路一条，必须为别人让道。刀剑和强权统治着这个世界，千万别相信旁的说法。”
He snorted. “There are no true knights, no more than there are gods. If you can’t protect yourself, die and get out of the way of those who can. Sharp steel and strong arms rule this world, don’t ever believe any different.”
珊莎从他身边踉跄退开。“你好恐怖！”
Sansa backed away from him. “You’re awful.”
“我很诚实，恐怖的是这个世界。好了，快飞吧，小小鸟，你不敢面对我，我则受不了你的偷看。”
“I’m honest. It’s the world that’s awful. Now fly away, little bird, I’m sick of you peeping at me.”
她一声不吭地跑开。她害怕桑铎·克里冈……然而，她心中又忍不住希望唐托斯爵士有一点点猎狗的桀骜。诸神是存在的，她告诉自己，真正的骑士也存在。所有的故事都不是谎言。
Wordless, she fled. She was afraid of Sandor Clegane … and yet, some part of her wished that Ser Dontos had a little of the Hound’s ferocity. There are gods, she told herself, and there are true knights too. All the stories can’t be lies.
当晚，珊莎又梦到了暴动。暴民们朝她蜂拥而来，大声尖叫，像一头疯狂的千面野兽。不管她转向何方，眼前都是一张张扭曲的脸孔，仿佛戴着凶残的怪兽面具。她哭着告诉他们，告诉他们自己是个乖女孩，但他们还是照样将她从马上拉下来。“不，”她高喊，“不，求求你们，请不要，不要啊！”没人理会。她大声呼唤唐托斯爵士，呼唤她的兄弟，呼唤死去的父亲和冰原狼，呼唤那曾献给她一朵红玫瑰的英勇的洛拉斯爵士，但无人前来救她。她呼唤歌谣中的英雄，呼唤傻子佛罗理安、莱安·雷德温爵士以及龙骑士伊蒙王子，但他们都听不见。女人们像黄鼠狼一样涌上前，把她围住，掐她的腿，踢她肚子，还有人打她的脸，牙齿碎裂开来。然后是钢铁闪耀的光芒，匕首刺进肚腹，一刀一刀又一刀，直到她整个人支离破碎，只剩丝丝潮湿闪亮的肉片。
That night Sansa dreamed of the riot again. The mob surged around her, shrieking, a maddened beast with a thousand faces. Everywhere she turned she saw faces twisted into monstrous inhuman masks. She wept and told them she had never done them hurt, yet they dragged her from her horse all the same. “No,” she cried, “no, please, don’t, don’t,” but no one paid her any heed. She shouted for Ser Dontos, for her brothers, for her dead father and her dead wolf, for gallant Ser Loras who had given her a red rose once, but none of them came. She called for the heroes from the songs, for Florian and Ser Ryam Redwyne and Prince Aemon the Dragonknight, but no one heard. Women swarmed over her like weasels, pinching her legs and kicking her in the belly, and someone hit her in the face and she felt her teeth shatter. Then she saw the bright glimmer of steel. The knife plunged into her belly and tore and tore and tore, until there was nothing left of her down there but shiny wet ribbons.
她醒了。苍白的晨光斜射进窗，但她只感到恶心疼痛，好像一夜没睡似的。双股之间有些黏黏的东西，掀开毯子一看，原来是血。一时之间，她只想到噩梦成真。她还记得刀子在体内扭转撕割的滋味。于是她恐惧地挪动，想踢床单却滚到了地上，赤裸身子，喘着粗气，下体流血，满心恐惧。
When she woke, the pale light of morning was slanting through her window, yet she felt as sick and achy as if she had not slept at all. There was something sticky on her thighs. When she threw back the blanket and saw the blood, all she could think was that her dream had somehow come true. She remembered the knives inside her, twisting and ripping. She squirmed away in horror, kicking at the sheets and falling to the floor, breathing raggedly, naked, bloodied, and afraid.
但当她趴着蜷在地上，忽然明白了过来。“不要，千万不要，”珊莎呜咽着，“求求你，千万不要啊。”她不要自己发生这种变化，不是现在，不是在这里，不是现在，不是现在，不是现在，不是现在！
But as she crouched there, on her hands and knees, understanding came. “No, please,” Sansa whimpered, “please, no.” She didn’t want this happening to her, not now, not here, not now, not now, not now, not now.
疯狂攫住了她，她撑着床柱站起身，走到水盆边清洗大腿，擦掉那些黏黏的东西。腿是清干净了，水却成了粉红。女侍一进门就会发现。然后她想到床单，于是冲回床边，惊恐地瞪着那滩暗红污渍，她所有的秘密就清楚明白地摆在那里。怎么办？怎么办？必须抢在别人看见之前处理掉，否则就晚了。她不要被逼着跟乔佛里结婚，她不要跟他睡在一起啊！
Madness took hold of her. Pulling herself up by the bedpost, she went to the basin and washed between her legs, scrubbing away all the stickiness. By the time she was done, the water was pink with blood. When her maidservants saw it they would know. Then she remembered the bedclothes. She rushed back to the bed and stared in horror at the dark red stain and the tale it told. All she could think was that she had to get rid of it, or else they’d see. She couldn’t let them see, or they’d marry her to Joffrey and make her lay with him.
珊莎抓起匕首，切割床单，把污渍挖下来。她们问起这个洞，我要怎么说呢？热泪从脸上滚落。她将撕破的床单扯下，发现毯子上也有血。我把它们全烧光。她将证物聚成一团，塞进壁炉，用床边油灯里的油润湿后，点火焚烧。然后她意识到血早就一路透过床单渗进羽毛床垫，因此她把床垫也抱来。它又大又重，很难移动，珊莎费尽全力，才塞了一半进火里。正当她双膝跪地，拼命将床垫往火焰里推，浓密的灰烟在四周旋转，充溢房间的时候，门猛然打开，她听见女侍倒抽一口气。
Snatching up her knife, Sansa hacked at the sheet, cutting out the stain. If they ask me about the hole, what will I say? Tears ran down her face. She pulled the torn sheet from the bed, and the stained blanket as well. I’ll have to burn them. She balled up the evidence, stuffed it in the fireplace, drenched it in oil from her bedside lamp, and lit it afire. Then she realized that the blood had soaked through the sheet into the featherbed, so she bundled that up as well, but it was big and cumbersome, hard to move. Sansa could get only half of it into the fire. She was on her knees, struggling to shove the mattress into the flames as thick grey smoke eddied around her and filled the room, when the door burst open and she heard her maid gasp.
最后，三人合力才将她拖开。之前的一切都白费工夫。床单虽已焚毁，但当她被架开时，两条大腿又是血迹斑斑。她仿佛用身躯向全世界展开一面兰尼斯特家族的绯红旗帜，明目昭彰地将自己出卖给了乔佛里。
In the end it took three of them to pull her away. And it was all for nothing. The bedclothes were burnt, but by the time they carried her off her thighs were bloody again. It was as if her own body had betrayed her to Joffrey, unfurling a banner of Lannister crimson for all the world to see.
火被扑灭以后，她们抬走焦黑的羽毛床垫，驱散屋内烟尘，然后拿来浴盆。女人们进进出出，低声细语，都用奇怪的目光看着她。她们将浴盆注满滚烫的热水，替她沐浴冲头，还给她一块布裹在两腿中间。此时珊莎已经冷静下来，不禁为自己的愚行感到羞傀。浓烟把大部分衣服都毁了。有个女人出去带回一件绿色羊毛连衣裙，大小基本合身。“这不如您自己的东西漂亮，但只好凑合着用，”她一边说一边将它从珊莎头上套下。“您的鞋还完好，您至少不用光脚去见太后。”
When the fire was out, they carried off the singed featherbed, fanned away the worst of the smoke, and brought up a tub. Women came and went, muttering and looking at her strangely. They filled the tub with scalding hot water, bathed her and washed her hair and gave her a cloth to wear between her legs. By then Sansa was calm again, and ashamed for her folly. The smoke had ruined most of her clothing. One of the women went away and came back with a green wool shift that was almost her size. “It’s not as pretty as your own things, but it will serve,” she announced when she’d pulled it down over Sansa’s head. “Your shoes weren’t burned, so at least you won’t need to go barefoot to the queen.”
珊莎被带进瑟曦·兰尼斯特的书房时，她正在吃早餐。“坐下，”太后和蔼地说，“饿不饿？”她指指桌上，有粥，蜂蜜，牛奶，白煮蛋和脆皮炸鱼。
Cersei Lannister was breaking her fast when Sansa was ushered into her solar. “You may sit,” the queen said graciously. “Are you hungry?” She gestured at the table. There was porridge, honey, milk, boiled eggs, and crisp fried fish.
她一见食物就想吐，好似肠胃打了结。“我不饿，谢谢您，陛下。”
The sight of the food made Sansa feel ill. Her tummy was tied in a knot. “No, thank you, Your Grace.”
“哼，咱们的提利昂和史坦尼斯公爵闹得每样食物都有灰烬的味道。不过你也放起火来了，想做什么呀？”
“I don’t blame you. Between Tyrion and Lord Stannis, everything I eat tastes of ash. And now you’re setting fires as well. What did you hope to accomplish?”
珊莎低头，“血把我吓坏了。”
Sansa lowered her head. “The blood frightened me.”
“血是你成为女人的标志。凯特琳夫人应该早告诉过你作好心理准备。你的初潮到来，仅此而已。”
“The blood is the seal of your womanhood. Lady Catelyn might have prepared you. You’ve had your first flowering, no more.”
珊莎从没感觉如此语穷词短。“母亲大人是告诫过我，可我……我以为不是这样。”
Sansa had never felt less flowery. “My lady mother told me, but I … I thought it would be different.”
“那是怎样？”
“Different how?”
“我不知道。应该不会这么……脏乱，应该比较神奇。”
“I don’t know. Less … less messy, and more magical.”
瑟曦太后忍俊不禁。“等生个孩子，珊莎，你就明白了。女人的生命九分脏乱，一分神奇，你很快就会知道……而表面上神奇的部分往往最为脏乱。”她啜一口牛奶。“那么，你现在是女人了，有没有一点概念，知道这意味着什么？”
Queen Cersei laughed. “Wait until you birth a child, Sansa. A woman’s life is nine parts mess to one part magic, you’ll learn that soon enough … and the parts that look like magic often turn out to be messiest of all.” She took a sip of milk. “So now you are a woman. Do you have the least idea of what that means?”
“意味着我已适合同房共枕，”珊莎说，“并为国王怀孩子。”
“It means that I am now fit to be wedded and bedded,” said Sansa, “and to bear children for the king.”
太后苦笑，“你已不像从前那样期盼这个了，我看得出来，也不会怪你。乔佛里向来不太听话，甚至连他出生……我整整辛苦了一天半才把他生出来。你无法想像那种疼痛，珊莎，我的尖叫声如此之大，想必劳勃在御林里都能听见。”
The queen gave a wry smile. “A prospect that no longer entices you as it once did, I can see. I will not fault you for that. Joffrey has always been difficult. Even his birth … I labored a day and a half to bring him forth. You cannot imagine the pain, Sansa. I screamed so loudly that I fancied Robert might hear me in the kingswood.”
“国王陛下没陪在您身边？”
“His Grace was not with you?”
“劳勃？劳勃在打猎。这是惯例，每当我产期一近，我的王夫便带着猎人和狗逃进森林。回来的时候，他送我一堆毛皮或一只鹿头，我则给他一个孩子。”
“Robert? Robert was hunting. That was his custom. Whenever my time was near, my royal husband would flee to the trees with his huntsmen and hounds. When he returned he would present me with some pelts or a stag’s head, and I would present him with a baby.
“我提醒你，我可不想他留下。我有派席尔大学士和足以组成一支军团的助产妇，以及我弟弟。他们不让詹姆进产房，他笑问：谁敢拦他？”
“Not that I wanted him to stay, mind you. I had Grand Maester Pycelle and an army of midwives, and I had my brother. When they told Jaime he was not allowed in the birthing room, he smiled and asked which of them proposed to keep him out.
“乔佛里恐怕就不会这么爱你了。这你该去感谢你妹妹——如果她还没死的话。他永不会忘记在三叉戟河畔她是如何当你的面羞辱他，他会羞辱你作为报复。不过，你比外表看上去要坚强，估计能挺住一点点的羞耻。瞧，我不就挺过来了吗？你也许永远不会爱上国王，但你会爱着他的孩子。”
“Joffrey will show you no such devotion, I fear. You could thank your sister for that, if she weren’t dead. He’s never been able to forget that day on the Trident when you saw her shame him, so he shames you in turn. You’re stronger than you seem, though. I expect you’ll survive a bit of humiliation. I did. You may never love the king, but you’ll love his children.”
“我全心全意地爱着国王陛下，”珊莎说。
“I love His Grace with all my heart,” Sansa said.
太后叹口气。“你最好多学点谎话，而且要快。史坦尼斯大人不会喜欢这一句，我向你保证。”
The queen sighed. “You had best learn some new lies, and quickly. Lord Stannis will not like that one, I promise you.”
“新任总主教说，诸神反对史坦尼斯公爵，因为乔佛里才是真正的国王。”
“The new High Septon said that the gods will never permit Lord Stannis to win, since Joffrey is the rightful king.”
一丝奇特的微笑闪过太后脸庞，“他是劳勃的嫡子和继承人，但劳勃每次抱起他，他都会大哭，令国王陛下很不喜欢。他那群杂种不但总开心地对他咯咯傻笑，当他把手指放进那些低贱的小嘴时，他们还会高兴地吮吸。劳勃向来渴望欢乐和笑颜，他总是如此，哪里能找到这些他就去哪里，所以去找了他的朋友和他的婊子。劳勃想要被爱。我弟弟提利昂也有同样的毛病。你想被爱吗，珊莎？”
A half smile flickered across the queen’s face. “Robert’s trueborn son and heir. Though Joff would cry whenever Robert picked him up. His Grace did not like that. His bastards had always gurgled at him happily, and sucked his finger when he put it in their little baseborn mouths. Robert wanted smiles and cheers, always, so he went where he found them, to his friends and his whores. Robert wanted to be loved. My brother Tyrion has the same disease. Do you want to be loved, Sansa?”
“每个人都想被爱啊。”
“Everyone wants to be loved.”
“看来初潮也没让你变聪明，”瑟曦道。“珊莎，容我在这个特殊的日子里跟你分享一点做女人的智慧。爱是毒药，虽然甜蜜，但依旧能杀人。”
“I see flowering hasn’t made you any brighter,” said Cersei. “Sansa, permit me to share a bit of womanly wisdom with you on this very special day. Love is poison. A sweet poison, yes, but it will kill you all the same.”