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分享：王风亭

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She longed to live. She'd had such a short life. When she was little, she understood nothing. When she was a bit bigger, she was completely taken up by school homework. She'd only been able to live for herself from about age eighteen.

Even then, when you took out the hours of sleep, the time she'd spent running around making a living, and times she didn't want to think about, there really wasn't much left. The only really good times in her life were those brief days with Meng Zi. It was not much of a life. If she died now, death wouldn't be much different from life.

她多想活呀。细想来，她活了没几天。小时候，懵懂无知；再大些，就叫学校作业占据了身心。真正为自己活的，也就是十八岁后的这几年。除去睡眠，除去为生计奔波的日子，除去那些不值得想的场景，剩下的，没多少时间了。真正觉得有意思的，也就是跟猛子相处的这些日子。……真没活好。要是这样死了，跟没活有啥两样？

~Xuemo, translated by Nicky Harman.

Selected Stories by Xuemo