"我一头栽进我的命运"

<一个陌生女人的来信>剧照

I know full well that you are used to hearing women say that they love you. But I am sure that no one else has ever loved you so slavishly, with such doglike fidelity, with such devotion, as I did and do. Nothing can equal the unnoticed love of a child. It is hopeless and subservient; it is patient and passionate; it is something which the covetous love of a grown woman, the love that is unconsciously exacting can never be. None but lonely children can cherish such a passion.  The others will squander their feelings in companionship, will dissipate them in confidential talks.  They have heard and read much of love, and they know that it comes to all. They play with it like a toy; they flaunt it as a boy flaunts his first cigarette. But I had no confidant; I had been neither taught nor warned; I was inexperienced and unsuspecting.

I rushed to meet my fate.

版本一:

我知道你习惯了女人说爱你. 但我确信没有人像我一样如此盲目, 如此卑微又忠贞地爱着你. 因为没有什么能比得上一个孩子不被人察觉的爱情. 它充满了绝望和卑微, 却又持久, 饱含激情. 它不同于成熟女人那贪求回报的爱, 那种爱难以取悦.

只有孤独的孩子才会珍惜这种感情. 其他人会把它挥霍在同伴身上, 或者密友的交谈上. 他们听过或读过太多的爱情故事, 也知道爱情总会到来. 他们玩弄爱情,像男孩炫耀自己的第一根烟一样.

但我没有密友, 没人教我或提醒我, 我毫无经验, 毫无准备. 我一头扎进我的命运.

版本二: 

我知道女人们经常向你这个骄纵坏了的人说这句话。可是请你相信我，没有一个女人，像我这样死心塌地的爱过你，过去是这样，这么多年过去了仍然是这样。因为这世界上没有什么东西，可以比的上一个孩子暗中怀有的不为人所察觉的爱情。因为这种爱情不抱希望，低声下气，曲意逢迎，热情奔放。这和成年女人的那种欲火炙烈，不知不觉中贪求无厌的爱情完全不同。只有孤独的孩子，才能把全部的热情聚集起来。我毫无阅历，毫无准备，我一头栽进我的命运，就像跌进一个深渊。

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