Me Before You

Clark,

A few weeks should have passed by the time you read this.If you followed the insturction,you'll be Paris on one of those chairs that never sit quiet level on the pavement.I hope it's still sunny.Across the bridge to your right hand you will see L'Artsan Parfumeur.You should try the scent called Papillons Extreme.I always did think it would smell great on you.There are a few things I want to say and couldn't.Because you would have got all emotional and you wouldn't have let me finish.So,here it is .When your get back home ,Micheal Lawler will give you access to a bank accout that contains enough to give you a new beginning .Don't start panicking .It's not enough for you to sit around for the rest of your life .But it should buy you your freedom.At least from that little town we both call home.

Live boldly,Clark.Push yourself.Don't settle.

Wear those stripy legs with pride.Knowing you still have possibilities is a luxury.

Knowing I might have given them to you has eased something for me.So ,this is it.

You are scored on my heart ,Clark.You were from the first day you walked in with your sweet smile and your ridiculous clothes.And your bad jokes and your complete inability to ever hide a single thing your felt.Don't think of me too often.I don't want you getting sad.

Just live well.

Just live.

I'll be walking beside you every step of the way.

love, Will

结尾这封信反反复复听了很多遍，最后还是决定把它手写下来。我们经常会谈起什么是爱情，当我看到片尾WIll写的这封信时，让人从心底感受到某种真切的东西，something we call love。爱一个人不是把对方变成自己喜欢的样子，而是能让对方活成她想要成为的样子，或者说，让彼此活成自己喜欢的样子。

“Konwing you still have possibilities is a luxury”"Just live well ,Just live.""I'll be walking beside you every step of the way"

但是我在看电影时，看到龙妈为了家做出牺牲，看到will 让clark又找到了自己，找到自己喜欢的样子。我想起的是《恐怖与颤栗》中有关信仰与牺牲的这样的描述：“在某些情况下，很多人——也许是绝大部分人——能够在对自己的生活毫无真正意识与洞察的情况下生活。是该满怀期待地坚持那个可能性，还是该干脆放弃它？这样的决定从来不能引起他们热切的关注——而且他们觉得一切顺理成章。他们生活在暧昧不明的混沌中。

      与之不同，个体们的本性就在于拥有自觉意识。他们亦可以放弃某些事物。甚至是放弃他们最珍视的心愿，但他们一定要清楚地知晓：自己该期待什么，不该期待什么。

      那些直接性的、自发的、或者欠反思的心性不可能理解这一点。因此，他们甚至无法区分弃绝与信仰。”跟这个电影可以说是两种画风，风马牛不相及。

一个很感性的电影，一段很理性的文字，交织在一起让我感觉到很难过，我们每个人都有很多很好的理想、有的甚至是不切实际的幻想，比如你追求自由，追求自由自在的生活而努力工作挣钱，挣多少钱才能自由自在的生活，为了挣钱却又忘记了生活；又比如你爱一个人她不爱你或者说她也爱你，但两个人在一起却陷入了另一个围城。我到此刻才明白，克尔凯郭尔这话的意思不是让我们放弃，放弃理想和期待，而是让我们理性的看待理想，哪些是应该为之奋斗，为之悲伤，为之感动，为之高兴，哪些又是应该放弃，应该祝福的。在自我的奋斗与自我的牺牲中找到一个平衡点，一个平和的心态。理性的期待，感性的生活？是这样子吗？

Have possibilities is a luxury.

扯远了，其实对于电影最后will 在遇见爱情后还是选择结束自己的生命，有两种解释，一是就像在沙滩上那段will说的，他爱自己以前的生活，胜过爱clark 以至于在遇见爱情之后，仍然选择自杀，他无法忍受自己的人生就这样过去，爱情和亲情并不能弥补，或许并不是所有人都把爱情、亲情看得比活出生命自己的样子更为重要；还有一种理解是will不愿因为自己束缚了clark，他爱Clark胜过于爱自己，他选择把希望留给了clark，我写了这么多肯定是偏向第二种了啊>_<||| ，so

I'll be walking beside you every step of the way.

2020.4.9 凌晨