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On May 14th 2016, upon Ms. Jerrie Ueberle's invitation, I was honored to be a keynote speaker at the 10th Annual Women's Symposium held at SIAS International University*. The full transcript comes after the brief background introduction of how I came to know Jerrie and WAFW.
The Chinese version will be posted tomorrow.
Background
At a Lean-in event organized by IPWS and Lean-in Shanghai in 2015, I met our kind and beautiful Andrea who during her time in Shanghai has been a mentor and sponsor of dozens of young Chinese women from underprivileged areas. She and her husband have generously hosted many of these women during their internships in Shanghai. When I expressed to her my deepest admiration, Andrea told me what she did is nothing compared to what Jerrie has been doing. Andrea then told me the remarkable story of Ms. Jerrie Ueberle and the existence of WAFW, World Academy for the Future of Women.
So I got to meet this legendary amazing lady, Ms. Jerrie Ueberle, the founder and president of World Academy for the Future of Women, who quietly dedicated decades of her life and tremendous resources to the development of women in under-privileged areas in the world. With the mission "To empower women through the discovery of their passion, purpose, and path to success, calling forth the full expression of human possibilities through collaborative and inclusive partnerships" Jerry set up WAFW, a bold and daring leadership program focused on developing young women for leadership roles, first at SIAS* in Henan province in central China, and now also in Nepal and Bangladesh.
Through Andrea I am humbled to have met many WAFW members in China, and to play a tiny part to help this important community by offering my time and sharing my experiences and resources whenever possible. Upon Jerrie's invitation, I was honored to be a keynote speaker at the 10th Annual Women's Symposium held at SIAS International University* on May 14th 2016.
The speech was delivered in English and Chinese with aid of some photos and slides. Without those slides and photos, the transcript may seem a bit difficult to follow. I apologize for that.
* Sias International University was founded in 1998 and is the first solely American-owned University in Central China. Affiliated with Zhengzhou University, as well as Fort Hays State University of Kansas, USA, it was developed and designed in response to the most current educational demands. It is the first full-time undergraduate university approved by the Degree Committee of the State Council in China to grant both Chinese and American Bachelor's Degrees. SIAS is also fully accredited by China's Ministry of Education. - Source SIAS University website
Let Life Unfold
Good morning, dear Jerrie, dear Dr. Shawn Chen, and dear guests,
Thank you for having me here.
I got here yesterday with my son Alan. I had to convince him to skip school to join me, because he did not expect SIAS to be this grand. After a very warm welcome and the special evening concert last night, we walked around the gorgeous campus with Cecilia and Sunny. And my son had two remarks that I want to share with you.
One, he said to me, "what did you do to earn such an honor to deliver a keynote to 5000 people? You'd better make sure you leave some impact to deserve this privilege."
Two, he said, "you know why universities such as Georgetown, where Anna (note: my daughter) goes to school, are so expensive? It's because of their expensive locations. But here at SIAS, people created their own location!
To Alan's second comment, he is totally right! You created your own city! What an amazing vision of Dr. Shawn Chen! And such energy and creativity of you all! I am in awe of what you have built! I hope you all do realize how lucky you are, and think about what you could do to turn this good fortune into a solid foundation for your own great future.
Now to Alan's first comment, about my impact today I want to say this: I will openly share some of my reflections and insights with you. But where there will be any impact on any of you, it will be entirely up to you. I congratulate you all for having chosen to attend the Symposium, but to make this whole experience life changing, I suggest that you put down three actions based on what you hear and see during the two days' program.
Now, this was a long opening. So long that I almost forgot to introduce myself. My name is Xiangwei Gong. The picture here (a picture of a mountain) shows where I was born, in the beautiful country-side in Hunan. This picture was taken with my children last year when I was on vacation in Europe. (Slides showing a few pictures) From where I was born to where I am today, I have lived and still live a full life.
I have flown over 2 million miles, lived in 3 continents, had experienced my own start-ups, I now run a global business unit based in Shanghai for DSM, a 114-year-old Dutch multinational corporation, I have 2 amazing children, almost 47 years of happy (but not always easy) life, and a lot more to come.
What do we want in life? Can we have it all? What is all? How often do you ask yourself these questions?
I do it often. And I don't have answers to all these questions, therefore I am still searching for answers myself.
I put this formula with question marks here for you to think about:
Happiness = Reality / (Dreams X Expectations) ？？？
Is happiness equal to reality divided by the multiplication of dreams and expectations? It seems the bigger the dreams, the higher our expectations, the less we would feel happy if we can't change the reality? Is it so? What happens if we'd completely stop dreaming or having expectations, since changing reality is always difficult? Can the denominator be 0? what happens if the denominator is near 0？
Mathematically a system becomes unstable when the denominator nears 0 and it becomes completely meaningless when it reaches 0. So does our life become shaken and cease to have meaning if we'd stop dreaming, stop expecting.
So, how do we find the balance? As I said, I have no answers, but I have reflections which I'd like to share with you. We all shall reflect to gain insights into our inner being, grow and rise above ourselves, continuously.
The three areas of insights I want to share today are:
About Our Roots
About Parenthood
About Dreams and Reality
1. About Our Roots:
First: We shall never forget where we came from, and I don't just mean the location. For me, I have found roots where my heart is. And though our heart is always longing for our roots, wherever we go, we shall always treasure and be kind to our surroundings, to our new community, to the world.
Then, about our name, I also have something to say. Since our name is our first identity and our lasting brand, it is most likely also linked to our roots.
So, be proud of who you are, including your name.
Some practical advice here: Whenever you meet someone, introduce your name clearly, and with confidence. Don't expect anyone to remember you or your name without at least 3 encounters.
Protect your name, always be true to yourself.
2. About Parenthood：
Two most important things about parenthood:
Give your children unconditional love and be their role model.
What is unconditional love?
I can't help but think about Jerrie, the Founder of the Academy. Thanks to Jerrie, I am here. Thanks to Jerrie, we are all here. It's her unconditional love that brought us here.
Einstein said, "The universal force is love！”
My mom lived with me in America for a year. Once after shopping, she said to my daughter, "Anna, you are so lucky, you have everything, because your mom can afford you everything. Your mom had nothing at your age, because her mom could not afford her anything."
My mom was wrong. She gave me all she had, and she gave me the same kind of unconditional love that I try to give to my children.
Look at this photo: Anna was about 12 years old, Alan was 6. Anna took him in her arms skiing downhill. Imagine the trust I had in Anna and they had in each other. It's love.
When my son was that age, once in bed, I told him that I love him forever. He said to me, "we will all die, how do you love me forever?" I said, "love is beyond life and death. " At the time, we were talking about Einstein. So he said, "I want to create something so that I am loved forever. "
When Anna was about 10, I asked her to look for a role model, someone that she admires. She said she just wanted to be like me.
Imagine the love and happiness I felt and still feel everyday, because of these children.
3. Dreams and Reality:
Now back to my earlier reflection on dreams and reality, I want to share my view on age and aging.
Why is this relevant?
Because if we'd have infinite amount of time, we wouldn't have the boundary between what is a dream and what is a reality.
We don't have infinite amount of time. We have to accept we get old (if we are lucky).
But age is not as important as our health.
So, take care of your physical condition, just like you must take care of your mind and soul.
I am in the food business, so I talk about shelf life all the time. We want to maximize our own shelf life, so that we always have time to dream more, and have time to make more dreams become reality.
Finally, I'd like to end my speech with a quote from Dale Carnegie:
"Success is getting what you want; Happiness is wanting what we get."
And I hope that you do spend time to think, search your soul, take action, and give love.
Let your life unfold, pursue happiness for you!
Thank you!
(Above keynote delivered on May 14th 2016 to approximately 5000 SIAS students at the 10th Annual Women's Symposium organized by World Academy for the Future of Women.)
Xiangwei
October 9th, 2018, Shanghai
p.s. Alan was 12 then. This event left him a deep impression of the community and also of his mom, which triggered many thought-provoking discussions.