Kesimida`s Daily Strategies for Better Writing (3/Q)

Questions

1 Can you tell the differences between the following two questions ? Which one is more direct and economical ?

(Topic : Online visits Versus Going to the real museums and art galleries)

/ Virtual visits may encourage us to view them superficially, without appreciating the richness of detail and labour that is involved.

/ The viewers may be encouraged to view them superficially during virtual visits, without appreciating the richness of detail and labour that is involved.

下列这些语句虽然符合语法规则，但是在语句的简洁有力，清晰度上等存在问题；你能很清晰的指出各个句中存在的问题，并进行合理的修改吗 ？

2 The long days of summer are when Susan plays in the grass.

3 Our enactment of the plan for the eradication of the disease was a failure.

4 The commencement of the ceremony will be at noon. 

5 People nowadays have more freedom to take part in relaxing activities.

6 The man walked quickly and agitatedly toward the phone.