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Dog Philosophy 101：What Dogs Teach Us About Life
狗狗教给我们的人生哲学

I recently was pleased to receive an honorary Doctor of Science Degree from the University of Guelph.As part of the ceremony I was asked to give a convocation address to the university graduates majoring in the social sciences.Rather than give the usual “inspirational” speech, I chose to give a lighthearted talk about what we can learn from dogs in terms of the philosophy of life.

I decided to present this material as if it were a summary of a university course which I named "Dog Philosophy 101."The talk appeared to be well received, and when I returned home I found a flock of e-mail messages asking me to publish my brief little address.In response to those requests I give you an outline of Dog Philosophy 101.

To begin with, for all disciplines that require research the dog philosophers have established a basic principle.The principle is that if you can’t find what you’re looking for, use your nose.Simply sniff around.

If this doesn’t find what you are looking for, start digging.If you still haven’t found it then dig deeper.If you find yourself in too deep, stop digging.Climb out of the hole, lie down on the grass and just rest a bit.Sometimes we find what we’re looking for when we stop looking.

In the area of business management and leadership, the dog philosophers offer a basic experimental procedure.If you think you are a person with some influence, try ordering someone else’s dog around.It doesn’t work.
This experiment demonstrates that a dog will work for you if he likes you, and it also shows that he will work even harder if he also respects you.Remember that this principle works not only in dog pack hierarchies, but also in herds of people.

In the realm of communication, the dog philosophy is quite clear.Good communication is 99% listening and only 1% barking.How things are said is usually more important than what is said.Ultimately this leads to the principle that one should avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

Avoid growling when a simple snarl will do.And avoid snarling when a simple stare will do.In practical applications the rule of thumb is less barking and more tail wagging.

On the issue of temporal cosmology, the dog philosophers are very clear — stay in the present — that’s where you can have an effect, and where you are likely to find the treats.If for some reason you cannot maintain your hold on the present, take a nap.

Perhaps the greatest influence of dog philosophy is in the areas of social and clinical psychology.The canine philosophers say that it is okay to thrive on attention and to let people touch you.They also have reached the conclusion that if someone is having a bad day the best therapy is to simply be silent and to sit close by them.

If you don’t know what to say, say nothing.If you do know what to say, say nothing.In both cases it is therapeutic to nuzzle them gently.

What I have given you here is the general outline of Dog Philosophy 101, or at least the Coles Notes version of it.The good news is that there will be no written exam for this course.There is a practicum however to see whether you have learned the essence of the material — it is called the rest of your life.

If you have difficulty remembering this material, just keep in mind what the greatest of all dog philosophers, Lassie, said in summarizing the essence of dog philosophy.“Harr-ruff Ruff!”