positive psychology 16 enjoy the journey 笔记

1. the difference between the perfectionist and the person committed to excellence:enjoy the journey
   
   a. able to be happy

2. how do we overcome this living the the future being afraid of the persent because wht if i fail? 我们如何克服因为害怕失败而害怕当下而活在未来的感觉？ overcome the perfectionism.
   
   a. 察觉到它的存在，认识到什么是我想改变的，和什么是我想保留的想法，思维方式 。being aware of it ;being aware of what I want to change and what I want to maintain.
   
   b. getting a more nuance understanding of what it is that I want change 更确切地了解到我到底想改变什么。我这么久都是个完美主义者，我总想着完美，总想着成功，我的潜意识让我无法摆脱完美主义（my subconcious were stopping me from letting go of perfectionism）;
   
   c. 完美主义：一种对失败无法抑制的恐惧;an incapacitating fear of failure.
   
   d. 思维仍然可以可以重塑，神经系统可以重构。
   
   e. 不要用完美主义的方式来克服完美主义 apply the perfectionist arrpoach to overcoming perfectionism.
   
   f. 接受完美主义的思维习惯将永远存在我们大脑中，will always probaly have part of it in me.
   
   g. 这是一个成长，了解自我，反省自己的机会。opportunity for personal learning ,for reflection,for growth
   
   h. accept it -change it by indtroducing behavior（通过建立行为来改变它。）
   
   i. 想象自己在享受过程；we are enjoy the process/here and now,as opposed to constantly thinking about the dstination,and waht will happen if I don't get to that destination
   
   j. 定一个终极目标，说到那时候自己可以达到来解放当下。
   
   k. compassion.
   
   l. 对努力进行回报，对过程回报；rewarding effort,rewording the journey.（非常容易陷入对结果的回报中,也非常容易忘记回报过程 it is so easy to fall into the tack of rewarding outcome, and so easy to gorget to reward the journey.） reward the journey:point out"oh this was a great attempt"，"this was so much fun doing it"这是个不错的尝试,这非常有趣。
   
   m. 非常简单有用的技巧,可以用在各种困境中，quite a simple but very powerful technique: apply to difficulty situations
   

   • i. permission to be human ，acceptance. 允许自己是个常人，接受这种情绪，接受这种困境，接受现实情况,respect for the reality。accept that is difficult，accept reality,accepting of the emotion. 对于现状我不能改变，但是我能改变的只有我对它的诠释『waht can change is perhaps my interpretation of what had happened』
     
   • ii. 下一步：重建，将这种情况解释成积极的;做一个益处的发现者：找找这里有什么是我能学到的，这其中有什么闪光点？这其中有什么成长的机会？next stop: reframing interpreting the situation as positive .and than would be the benefit finder:what's the silver lining here? what is the growth opportunity here?
     
   • iii. 分心，转移注意,将注意力转移到别处,这跟逃避很不一样，不能混为一谈，因为这不是说『好吧,我这辈子再也不管这事了』，这只是说如果某种情绪或想法总是反复出现，我永远都在徒劳的抗争着distracting ,distraction；looking toward other place.this is very different from avoiding.not about saying."all right ,i am not going to deal with any of the issues in my life."it's just saying that if there is a recurrent thought of feeling and I'm experiencing a Sisyphean battle against it
     
   • iv. 换个角度 taking perspective：一年后这会对我有影响吗？
     
   • v. 心智成熟：根据自己的意愿转换想法角度的能力。 psychological maturity：is about the ability to willingly shift perspective.