雅思大作文范文精读精析001:children`s leisure activities

只有彻底读明白了,才有可能写明白!

该系列文章首发于微信公众号hao_writing。这是雅思大作文范文精读精析的第一篇。

【题干】提示加粗的是题干核心信息 (即话题涉及什么事,什么人?)

Some people believe that children`s leisure activities must beeducational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time.

Do you agree or disagree?

题干解读:题干核心信息包含了

what:leisure activities(注意题干对what类信息的限定:educational leisure activities, 这里是两重限定);

who:children

【范文精析】提示:下划线是模板句式蓝色单词是高级用词红色是易错点

【第一段原文】

Today, education has become a priority for many parents seeking to secure a good future for their children in this rapidly changing world. They believe that if their children apply themselves and work hard at school, then they will increase their opportunities for going to higher education and eventually getting a good job. Of course, they are right, and as access to the best education and best jobs is becoming more competitive, then it is true that children have to make the best of their study time when they are young.

【第一段精读】

Today,educationhas become apriority优先考虑的事formany parentsseeking to secure使……获得a good futurefortheir childrenin this rapidly changing world. They believe thatif their childrenapply themselves努力and work hardat school, then they willincrease their opportunities for增加他们……的机会going to higher education andeventually最终getting a good job. Of course, they are right, andas access to……的入口the best education and best jobs isbecoming more competitive竞争激烈的, then it is true that children have tomake the best of充分利用theirstudy time学习时间when they are young.

【第一段精析】

Today, education has become a priority for many parents seeking to secure a good future for their children in this rapidly changing world.

这里的seeking是现在分词放在名词parents后做它的后置定语。凡是现在分词或过去分词放在名词后做后置定语的,都可以转换为定语从句的:many parents seeking...=many parents who seek... 但最好不要用定语从句。毕竟,语言表达讲究简练,能少用一字就绝不要都用一字。另外,seeking构成的分词短语和后面介词for和介词in构成的两个介词短语,这里都是做后置定语的,注意其出现位置和顺序不能随意调整的。这也是英语学习的一个难点,后置定语较多时的排序问题。

at school在校,不要写成at the school了

关于school不加a或the的用法,葛传槼老先生是这么说的(参加《葛传槼英语惯用法词典第510页》):

Of course, they are right, and as access to the best education and best jobs is becoming more competitive, then it is true that children have to make the best of their study time when they are young.

这个句子中,as是连词,而不是介词,表示“因为”(because, since, for,as的区别还有印象吗?)另外,is很容易被误写成are,因为前面是jobs,但其实主句的核心词是access,access后面是介词to构成的短语: to the best education and best jobs。

【第二段原文】

However, the parents who do not allow their children sufficient free time for leisure activities outside school hours are misguided. Such activities are far from being a waste of time for the children simply because they are not academic. It is important to remember that children need to develop skills other than intellectual ones, and the best way to do this is through activities such as sports, games and playing with other kids. If they cannot play make-believe games, how can they develop their imagination? How can they learn physical coordination or learn important social lessons about winning and losing if they do not practise any sports? Many children form strong, personal relationships with the friends they play with, and without the opportunity to do this, they could grow up emotionally immature or unformed.

【第二段精读】

However, the parents who do notallow their children sufficient足够的 free timefor leisure activities outside school hours校外时间 are misguided被误导的. Such activities are far from不是being a waste of time for the childrensimply because仅仅因为 they are notacademic和学业相关的. It is important to remember that children need to develop skillsother than除了……之外intellectualones, and the best way to do this is through activities such as sports, games and playing with other kids. If they cannot play make-believe games, how can they develop theirimagination想象力? Howcan they learn physical coordination身体协调 or learn important social lessons about winning and losing if they do not practise练习 any sports? Many children formstrong, personal relationships with和……形成牢固的个人关系 the friends they play with, and without the opportunity to do this, they couldgrow up emotionallyimmature不成熟的orunformed未成形的.

【第二段精析】

However, the parents who do not allow their children sufficient free time for leisure activities outside school hours are misguided. 

很多学生都知道allow sb to do sth, 但不知道allow sb sth这种搭配。

Such activities are far from being a waste of time for the children simply because they are not academic.

far from在意思上和not是很接近的。所以在用far from的使用,要留意它表达的其实是否定的意思。

拓展:雅思写作经常需要表达否定的意思,这里有7种表达否定的方式,建议各位考鸭最好熟悉熟悉。

It is important to remember that children need to develop skills other than intellectualones, and the best way to do this is through activities such as sports, games and playing with other kids.

这里的ones指代skills,这样就避免了用词重复。

拓展:雅思写作经常需要表达否定的意思,这里有3种避免重复的方式,建议各位考鸭也要熟悉并掌握,特别重要!!!

Many children form strong, personal relationships with和……形成牢固的个人关系 the friends they play with, and without the opportunity to do this, they could grow up emotionallyimmature不成熟的orunformed未成形的.

初中的时候老师就已经讲过形容词连用的顺序问题,而且一般语法书都有讲解。如《郎文英语语法》描述为:品质→尺寸→新旧→样式→颜色→产地→过去分词。 如a beautiful new black Italian leather jacket。但这些形容词是连用,中间没出现逗号。其实形容词放名词前连用时,有些是需要加逗号的,,这个知识点很多学生根本都不知道。基本规则是,如果两个形容词是同类的形容词,连用时就得加逗号或者加并列连词。多个形容词之间是否需要加逗号,请戳链接具体了解:如何使用多个形容词进行限定?

另外,grow在这个句子中是系动词,所以其后用的才是形容词immature or unformed(emotionally是修饰这两个形容词,而不是修饰动词的!)


【第三段原文】

Finally, I think it is also important to remember that, children need to relax as well as work. If everything they do must have some educational or academic relevance, then they will soon get tired of studying altogether, which is the last thing parents would want.

【第三段精读】

Finally, I think it is also important to remember that, children need to relax as well as work. If everything they do must have some educational or academic relevance相关, then they will soon get tired of厌烦 studying altogether完全地, which is the last thing parents would want.

【第三段精析】

宾语从句that后的逗号是为了强调后面的信息:children need to relax. 不是语法错误.

get tired of对……厌烦;get tired from因……而劳累。别用错介词了!

altogether词意和completely差不多; 而去掉al后的together的词意则是“一起、共同”

the last thing parents would want 其实就是父母最不想看到的事的意思。这种表达很少有学生在雅思写作中能正确使用,特别注意!

最后,分享这篇范文中一个必备的模板句式。

警示:考官不是讨厌考鸭使用模板,而是讨要死搬硬套地使用模板。破解的关键是提升自己的扣题能力和逻辑衔接能力

雅思写作必备模板句式:

Today,……(扣题干的核心信息what) has become a priority for ……(扣题干的核心信息who, 特定群体的相关群体)seeking to do …… to ……(扣题干的核心信息who, 特定群体) in this rapidly changing world.

例句:

Today, education has become a priority for many parents seeking to secure a good future for their children in this rapidly changing world. 

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