something to myself

      there i want to tell a story about me.since  a child .i was very fear of others and shy.i dont know why untill now.i always was a child heared.

          in my primary shcool.grade one.one afternoon .finished lunch,i took my bag to school and aten a peach,which i remembered.but a dog caught me and bited me on my left leg.it is still a teeth on my leg.then i cried.my mother and my uncle in law took me to the district hospital.then i get a neddle and one week neddles.but the next day  i went to school.during in the class ,my teacher asked me to kneel in my seat.other students told the teacher i was injuried.but the teacher never considered.it is unfair to me but i have no voice.i am scared of him.actually i am scared of everyone.i dont know why.i just followed the book i read in school.it seems i cant believe others.may be the personality is growing in my soul .so even i am more than 30,i still fear of others.i have no confidence.i dont know how to change it.it seems i am a child still i wont be growing up.my thoughts is still in 20.even i dont how to chat with others either men or women.it is trapped me long.it seems i dont considered my marriage.my house.i am an idoit.how to change.ten years ago i thought i will be a good engnieer in industry then change my fate, but now i know i am wrong.i was short of so many things.the first one is confidence .then i dont have a normal thought to the problem.i dont doubt my major knowlege.just my logic thoughts has some wrong.i want to recover it .but i dont know how to do.it is seriously infuence my work and life.

            beside,there is another problems of my body.i have little sleep.it is excited of my nerve when in night.since my stomatch was told something wrong.my meals is nearly half to ever.in 11.2019.i discoveried my living is decline.some little fur injuried wasnt cured nearly one month(normally it was cured in one week).so i know the nature was close the gate of health of me.the life is so werid to me.

        i am out of tears .i cant cry since 2017.these also trapped me.

        i dont know how to do.maybe you will laugh.to be a man .how can you to.but this is the real.i seems know the ending of my life.