英文 | 中文 |
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Pick up! Tables 12, 4, 11. | 十二四十一号桌上菜 |
Got it. | 来了 |
Hey, when you get a second, | 等你丫有空... |
stop looking at my boobs. | 麻烦把淫眼从我奶上移开 |
Excuse me. | 麻烦一下 |
Waitress? | 服务生 |
Dude? | 小二 |
Hi, what can I get ya? | 您好请问要点什么 |
We need some... | 我们要... |
Is that annoying? | 看了会不爽吗 |
Is that obnoxious and rude? | 觉得对方又欠扁又无礼吗 |
Would you find it distracting if someone did that to you | 你工作时有人这么弄你 |
while you were working? | 你会觉得烦吗 |
Oh, you don't have a job. Sorry. | 哎呀忘记你没工作了抱歉 |
Damn, dude, she burned you. | 靠伙计她完胜呀 |
No, hipster. | 别搞错了小痞子 |
Do not think we're on the same team. | 别以为我跟你是一国的 |
We have nothing in common. | 咱俩到死都不是同路人 |
I wear knit hats when it's cold out. | 姐戴帽子挡酷寒 |
You wear knit hats cause of Coldplay. | 二货戴帽学酷玩[乐队] |
You have tattoos to piss off your dad. | 你的纹身是想气死你爹 |
My dad doesn't know he's my dad. | 我爹压根不知他是我爹 |
And finally, | 最后 |
you think... | 你觉得 |
this is the sound that gets you service. | 一声穿云指我千军万马来服务 |
I think... | 要我说 |
This is the sound that dries up my vagina. | 一声穿云指我如瀑下阴也干枯 |
The other waitress disappeared, the Russian one. | 那位俄国服务生呢怎么不见了 |
We need horseradish. | 我们想要山葵酱 |
Please. | 拜托您了 |
That, ladies, is how you treat a waitress. | 妹妹真乖这样才有礼貌嘛 |
Paulina! | 宝莲娜 |
完整版请点击 | |
Oh, so... so good, oh... | 爽爽死了 |
Oh, sorry, I didn't realize you were on break. | 抱歉不知道你在休息 |
I just need some horseradish. | 我要山葵酱 |
- Here. - Oh, cool. | -给-收到 |
Excuse me, where's my waitress? | 请问服务生去哪了 |
She's coming. | 她马上来[高潮] |
Earl. | 厄尔 |
Earl! | 厄尔 |
I made your favorite, red velvet. | 我做了你最爱的红丝绒蛋糕 |
My little cupcake brought me a cupcake. | 我的蛋蛋妹给我带来了小蛋糕 |
Let me pay you for that. | 我还是把钱给你吧 |
Oh, no, no. It's on the house. | 不用我请客 |
It's your birthday. | 你生日嘛 |
How old are you gonna be? | 过完生日要几岁了啊 |
75. | 七十五岁 |
Oh, Earl, if you were just three years younger. | 厄尔你要小个三岁咱俩就成了 |
Max, Max, big news. | 麦克斯麦克斯大新闻 |
The new boss fired that Russian waitress, Paulina. | 新老板炒了俄国妞宝莲娜 |
Turns out chesty Kournikova was Vladimir Puttin' it out. | 大胸金丝猫被发现其实是个死间谍 |
Hello today. I have paycheck for you. | 早安我带了你的工资来 |
I need to talk to you. You fired Paulina, Han? | 我有话问你你炒了宝莲娜吗阿憨 |
I am no longer Han Lee. | 我已经不叫李憨了 |
I have new American name | 我取了新的英文名字 |
to go with changing neighborhood. | 好适应新时代"得"社会 |
To go with the changing neighborhood. | 是新时代"的"社会 |
You need to remember this for your immigration exam. | 移民考试的时候别又说错了 |
Correct. To go with the changing neighborhood. | 行好适应新时代"的"社会 |
Bryce? | 小笼 |
Your name is Bryce Lee? | 你改名叫李小笼啊 |
Wait, wait, um, um, um... | 等等等一下 |
Don't hire a new waitress, okay? | 别再招新人来了好吗 |
I've been doing all the work anyway, | 反正活儿总是我全包 |
and I really could use the extra money. | 让我多拿一份工资补贴家计吧 |
You need help. | 你需要帮手 |
- No, I don't. - Everyone need help sometimes. | -不用-谁都需要帮手 |
I don't. I've been waiting my whole life, okay? | 我不用我当了一辈子的侍应 |
I've waited on tables, I've waited in bars, | 在餐厅酒吧都做过侍应 |
I've waited on home pregnancy tests. | 甚至在家等验孕结果 |
I already hire new waitress. | 我已经雇新人了 |
She work in all top restaurants in Manhattan. | 她以前在曼哈顿顶级餐厅工作过 |
I gave her Paulina's uniform. | 我都把宝莲娜的制服给她了 |
Mr. Lee, not to complain, | 李先生有点事情想问问 |
but I think someone wore this uniform before me, | 这件制服好像有人穿过了呢 |
like right before me. | 而且是刚刚才穿过 |
Is it possible that I could get another one? | 可不可以帮我换一件全新的呀 |
Maybe one that's a little less moist. | 换件没这么湿漉漉的 |
Also this mustard color doesn't really go with my skin tone, | 另外我的肤色跟黄芥末色不太搭 |
neither do the mustard stains... | 跟芥末渍也不搭 |
And these various other stains, and smells. | 跟这各式污渍异味更是不搭 |
I hope that's clam chowder. | 白白的是蛤蜊浓汤渍吧... |
So... | 所以 |
I think it'd be better for everyone, | 为了大家 |
including my immune system, | 以及我的免疫系统着想 |
if I just keep on wearing what I'm wearing, | 我就穿自己这身就好了 |
and not the apron,'cause this is chanel. | 那件就省了我这身可是香奈儿 |
So thank you, | 感谢聆听 |
and let's waitress. | 本小姐要上岗啦 |
Whatever that is, | 这娇娇女明显就是 |
it does not belong in this diner. | 来错地方打错工了 |
It belongs in a show on Bravo. | 她应该去演电视 |
But she blonde, hair so shiny, | 她是金发妞金发闪闪 |
good for business. | 有助财源广进啊 |
Where do you even find these people? | 你都去哪找到这些歪瓜裂枣的啊 |
The Russian hooker, the one before that was a meth addict. | 俄罗斯妓女再前一位还是吸毒妹 |
You train her, I am boss. | 你去训练她我可是老板 |
Da boss. | 老板中的老板 |
Fine, but make her wear the uniform. | 好那你先去命令她穿上制服 |
Are you sure we can't get the meth addict back? | 真不能让吸毒的回来吗 |
She was really good at cleaning. | 她是毁尸灭迹打扫神人呢 |
But her teeth fall out. | 可她吸毒到牙掉光了 |
You are really judgmental, you know that? | 你也太以貌取人了吧 |
I'm only gonna say this once, so pay attention. | 我就说一回仔细听 |
完整版请点击 | |
I'm Caroline, by the way. And you're Max? | 我是卡洛琳你叫麦克斯对吗 |
Don't get attached. | 先别建立感情 |
This is the Williamsburg diner, owned by Han Lee, | 这间威廉伯格餐厅老板是李憨 |
Who just changed his name to Bryce Lee, | 最近刚改名叫李小笼 |
because I guess he wants people to take him even less seriously. | 他应该是患了不被当笑话会死的病 |
Eight months ago he bought it from the Russian mob. | 八个月前他向俄国黑帮顶下这餐厅 |
Clientele used to be all eastern bloc criminals and crack whores, | 以前客源通常是东欧小流氓吸毒妓女 |
but then he took it over and ruined it. | 他顶过来之后客源就跑光了 |
Hey, sexy woman. | 哟性感辣妹 |
You look so pretty today. | 今儿个性感动人啊 |
You look so beautiful, I forgot how bad your personality is. | 美得我差点忘了你是悍妇了 |
Thanks, Oleg. | 承蒙夸奖奥列格 |
Hey, Barbie. | 嗨芭比小妞 |
That's Oleg. | 他是奥列格 |
He will hit on you aggressively and relentlessly. | 他将会不停地用烂招泡你 |
He doesn't realize he looks like that, | 他的自信多到爆棚 |
and I don't have the heart to tell him. | 可惜我没多余的善心点醒他 |
Miss, could we have some menus? | 小姐可以给份菜单吗 |
Oh, sure. | 当然 |
Don't smile. | 不要微笑 |
Cause it raises the bar, and then I have to smile, | 你拉高服务标准我就得跟上 |
and I can't be doing that. | 那样太累人了 |
It's exhausting and I have a bad back. | 微笑又累人又有害健康 |
That's Earl, we're in love. | 那是我的恋人厄尔 |
Do not talk to him, | 别跟他多讲话 |
unless you want to feel whiter than you already are. | 除非你想显得更"白"痴 |
Oh, and that stain? | 还有那块污渍 |
Not clam chowder. | 其实是男人"精"华 |
Go marry the ketchups. | 去把番茄酱连一起 |
Marry the ketchups. I'm on it. | "联姻"起马上好 |
Okay. Now divorce the ketchups. | "联姻"完弄离婚吧 |
Stop! Stop! Stop! | 停停停 |
There's no such thing as divorcing the ketchups. | 让番茄酱离婚纯属我鬼扯 |
You've never waitressed a day in your life. | 你压根就没当过服务生对吧 |
Yes, I have. | 我真的做过 |
You expect me to believe you | 看完你这出 |
after watching that whole Temple Grandin routine? | 奇葩的演出后鬼才信你 |
- I'm telling Lee. - Okay, okay, | -我去跟老板检举你-别求你了 |
I may have enhanced my resume. | 我的确稍微美化了我的简历 |
Enhanced? What, are we in Paris? | 美化你当参加巴黎时尚展啊 |
Please, I really need this job, okay? | 求你了我真的很需要这份工 |
We lost all of our money. | 我们家一无所有了 |
My trust fund was taken for legal fees. | 我的信托基金被拿去支付律师费 |
My dad is in jail. | 老爸又入狱了 |
What? What are you, Martin Channing's daughter? | 干嘛难不成你是马丁·钱宁的女儿啊 |
Where's the paper? | 报纸在哪 |
Martin Channing? | 马丁·钱宁 |
The guy who ripped off the entire city is your father. | 骗光整座城的人是你老爸 |
He told us we were having a good year. | 他只跟我们说今年生意挺好 |
You're Caroline Channing. | 你是卡洛琳·钱宁 |
You're like a billionaire. | 你可是亿万富翁 |
Was. Was a billionaire. | 曾是曾是亿万富翁 |
They froze all our assets, everything's gone. | 所有资产都被冻结了全没了 |
I only have what I could grab, | 我只能拿几样东西走 |
and I grabbed all the wrong things. | 可我全拿了没用的东西 |
- So do you know the president? - I've met him. | -你认识总统吧-见过 |
- He's hot. - He's the president. | -他很性感吧-他就是个总统 |
- Have you been to Switzerland? - Yes. | -你去过瑞士吧-去过 |
- Do you have a horse? - Yes. | -你有马吗-有 |
- Do you know Paris Hilton? - No, she's a hundred. | -认识帕丽斯·希尔顿吗-不认识她太老了 |
Excuse me, uh, two hot chocolate, please. | 麻烦一下两杯热巧克力 |
Comin' up. | 马上好 |
Let me do that, please. | 让我来吧 |
I'm a really fast learner. | 我学东西可快了 |
I went to Wharton business school. | 沃顿商学院毕业 |
I got 2,300 on my SAT. | SAT考了两千三百分 |
Can you make a hot chocolate, or not? | 那你做得出热巧克力吗 |
Nailed it. | 搞定 |
We split the tips. Give me yours. | 小费均分把你的拿来 |
You did better than I thought you would. | 比我预计的好多了 |
Listen, tonight I thought of a way | 我刚想到了一个 |
we could make some extra money. | 赚外快的办法 |
They've totally underestimated the price | 那些红丝绒蛋糕 |
point on those red velvet cupcakes. | 定价实在低的离谱 |
In Manhattan the asking price is at least seven, | 在曼哈顿这至少卖七块 |
so we could sell them for seven, and then pocket the difference. | 我们就卖七块赚价差中饱私囊 |
Nothing about that sounds wrong to you? | 难道你不觉得有什么不对吗 |
It's not our fault that the idiot who makes the cupcakes | 做蛋糕的傻子定价这么低 |
doesn't know their worth. | 又不是我们的错 |
I'm the idiot who makes the cupcakes. | 我就是做蛋糕的那傻子 |
New information. | 我才知道嘛 |
That's stupid. | 这肯定不行 |
No one would pay $7 for one of my cupcakes. | 谁会花七块买我的蛋糕啊 |
Really? 'Cause... | 你确定吗看这... |
Well, at least we know you're not adopted. | 果然有遗传你爸弄钱的基因啊 |
So how'd you even end up in Brooklyn? | 你怎么会沦落到来布鲁克林打工 |
Oh, I went on monster.com. | 我去招工网站 |
Typed in "place where nobody | 输入上东区的人[富人区] |
from the Upper East Side would ever go, ever," | 这辈子绝对不会去的地方 |
and this diner came up. | 就出现这家店了 |
You can't wear a fancy leather jacket outside | 这里治安差穿高级皮衣 |
in this neighborhood. | 铁定会被抢 |
You have to turn it inside out. | 反着穿露出丑的那面 |
Fur. Cool. Turn it back. | 皮草算了再翻回来吧 |
So where do you live? | 你住哪儿呀 |
Our townhouse was taken and bolted up by the bank, so... | 我家大宅被银行没收查封了 |
Is this where I'm supposed to feel sorry for you? | 我需要表达一下同情吗 |
I mean, I don't want you to, | 我是不想逼你啦 |
but just so you know, a well-adjusted person would. | 不过正常的好人都会同情的 |
I'm dead inside. | 我是没同情心的坏人 |
You make that pretty obvious. | 是人都看得出来 |
Anyway, I'm just gonna stay in the city with a friend. | 好吧我要去市中心的朋友家了 |
I live a couple of blocks that way. | 我就住附近 |
I'd walk you to the subway, | 我照理该陪你走去地铁站的 |
it's just that I don't want to. | 不过我真的没这么好心 |
Got it. | 完全理解 |
Okay. | 就这样吧 |
Robbie! | 罗比 |
Why is the music so loud? | 放这么大声干嘛呢 |
It's 3:00 in the morning. | 现在都凌晨三点了 |
I'm sorry. | 对不起嘛 |
It's cool. So what are you doin'? | 原谅你吧你们在干嘛呢 |
The band's practicing. | 乐队在练习呢 |
But you're not playing any instruments. | 怎么没看到乐器呢 |
Yeah, that's how we practice. | 这是我们独门秘技 |
We, like, listen to other good music, | 听着别人的音乐 |
and play it in our head. | 然后在自己脑海演练 |
It's like the secret. | 这好比不能弹的秘密 |
Well, I have a secret for you guys. | 是吗我也有个秘密要跟你们说 |
Get out! | 给我滚出去 |
- Uh, you guys better go. - We should go. | -伙计们先走吧-好的 |
Sorry guys, I still have to make the cupcakes. | 抱歉了我还得做小蛋糕呢 |
Cupcakes? For why? You can just buy 'em at the store. | 干嘛自己做去店里买一个不就得了 |
You can do that in the morning, babe, come to bed. | 起来再做吧宝贝现在是滚床单时间 |
No, I can't. I have to be in the city by 10:00. | 不行我明早十点要到市中心 |
Fine. You can have three minutes. | 好吧给你三分钟 |
Fine, you can have eight, one for each ab. | 好吧看在八块腹肌的份上给你八分钟 |
Stand clear of the closing doors. | 关门请注意 |
Well, I can cross that off my bucket list. | 太好了死前心愿又完成了一样 |
I have a taser! | 我有电击棒 |
Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
I am so sorry. | 真是万分抱歉 |
I didn't think it would hurt so much. It's pink. | 我以为这只是粉红小电棒 |
It didn't feel pink. | 我都要被电成炭粉了 |
I didn't know it was you. | 我刚真不知道是你 |
I thought I was being raped. | 我还以为自己被人强奸了呢 |
That's not what rape feels like. | 摸你的手算个屁强奸啊 |
Did you... did you sleep on the subway? | 昨晚...你是在地铁上睡的吗 |
I had nowhere else to go, | 我没地可去 |
and I'm too afraid to sleep outside on the street. | 又不敢睡大街上 |
God, you're spoiled. | 天啊还真是娇生惯养 |
Next stop, Greenpoint. | 下一站格林中心 |
Ugh, get your stuff, come on! | 快拿好你的行李 |
I'll take you to my place, but hurry. | 我带你去我家吧快点 |
Cause I have to be in the city in 30 minutes. | 我要三十分钟内赶回市中心 |
Call me. | 要打给我哦 |
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