What Gets Heard：听到什么
The old adage “It’s not what you say; it’s how you say it” has evolved to “It’s not just what you say and how you say it; it’s also what the listener walks away understanding.” The key here—and one of the most powerful components of “Yes, and”—is to be aware not just of what you mean to communicate and how you mean to communicate it, but also of the effect that specific communication has on other people. In the next chapters we will more fully explore the concept of mindfulness and of “self-audit”—the ability to recognize what you are doing in real time so that you can make the choice to continue that behavior or change it to get the desired effect on the people you are influencing.
古老的格言“这不是你在说什么；它就是你所说的”演变成“这不仅是你所说的和你怎么说的；这也是听众无法理解的东西。”这里的关键（也是“是”和“是”最强大的组成部分之一）不仅要了解您要交流的含义和交流的含义，还要知道特定交流对他人的影响。在接下来的章节中，我们将更全面地探讨正念和“自我审计”的概念，即能够实时识别您所做的事情，以便您可以选择继续该行为或改变其行为以获得期望的行为。对您影响的人的影响。
For now understand that over time, through our style of interpersonal communication, we train each other on what to expect and how to react to us. We hear something a certain way, and we react a certain way. While no one wants to be thought of as a drooling dog, Dr. Pavlov did have a point. (Now pardon me, I just heard a bell and I have to get something to eat.)
现在了解到，随着时间的流逝，通过我们的人际沟通方式，我们就期望的内容和对我们的反应进行了相互培训。我们以某种方式听到一些声音，并且以某种方式做出反应。虽然没有人想被视为流口水的狗，但帕夫洛夫博士确实有道理。（现在请原谅我，我刚刚听到一个铃铛，我必须要吃点东西。）
The underlying message of any communication is processed and reacted to even before a spoken reaction is prompted. This is a matter of brain science,14 and it’s also quite evident in our day-to-day lives. At my desk I have a picture of my young son up on the wall, and next to it is a Post-it note that reads “Stay focused.” I also have a decorative magnet that displays a favorite phrase of my improv mentor Martin de Maat: “You are pure potential.” Some days I’m aware of actually reading these words.
甚至在提示口头反应之前，任何通信的基础消息都会被处理并做出反应。这是大脑科学的问题14，在我们的日常生活中也很明显。在我的办公桌上，我的小儿子的照片贴在墙上，旁边是一张便利贴，上面写着“保持专注”。我还有一块装饰性的磁铁，上面展示了我的即兴演奏家马丁·德·马特（Martin de Maat）最喜欢的一句话：“你是纯粹的潜力。”有几天，我知道实际上读过这些单词。
Many days they are simply part of the visual backdrop of my workspace—things that dance in my peripheral vision. However, whether I consciously or unconsciously process such words, they have an impact on me and the people who step into my office. When I see these kinds of messages on a regular basis, they affect the way I think and the way I treat other people. Words do indeed train the brain.
很多时候，它们只是我工作空间视觉背景的一部分-在我周围的视觉中跳舞的事物。但是，无论我有意还是无意地处理了这些单词，它们都会对我以及进入我办公室的人们产生影响。当我定期看到此类消息时，它们会影响我的思维方式和我对待他人的方式。言语的确能训练大脑。
If as a leader you are acutely aware of the effect you have on other people and the way your communication style impacts them, and you can see in measurable ways that your impact is positive—fantastic.If however you are simply assuming that you’re communicating effectively and having a positive impact just because it feels that way on your side of the desk, I’d ask you to put your communication style under review. Too many people in the business world do not consider whether their style of communication and their language choice have a positive or negative impact.
如果作为领导者，您敏锐地意识到您对他人的影响以及您的沟通方式对他们的影响，并且您可以通过可衡量的方式看到您的影响是积极的，那就太好了。但是，如果您只是假设自己是我希望您能有效地进行沟通，并产生积极的影响，因为感觉就像是坐在办公桌旁一样。商业世界中有太多人没有考虑他们的沟通方式和语言选择是正面还是负面的影响。
It doesn’t even occur to some that impact matters. The impatient, Kumbaya-resistant executive might recoil from considering “Yes, and” on the grounds that it’s not his job to care about how other people feel. However, I’d argue that if you want those people to do a better job and you want the business to run better, the language of the workplace is well worth examining. Instead of spending millions on EQ development seminars, why not explore the noncostly alternative of examining how you are personally affecting people, and try embracing “Yes, and . . . ” Take this “Yes” test if you don’t think language matters:
某些影响甚至没有发生。不耐烦，抗Kumbaya的高管可能会因为考虑“是”而退缩，理由是关心他人的感受不是他的工作。但是，我认为如果您希望这些人做得更好，并且您希望公司经营得更好，那么工作场所的语言就值得研究。与其花费数百万在EQ开发研讨会上，不如探索一种无成本的替代方法，即检查您个人如何影响人们，并尝试拥抱“是，……”。。。”如果您认为语言无关紧要，请参加“是”测试：
Have a 3–5-minute conversation with a colleague (or a stranger at a pub), starting every sentence with “Yes, but . . . ” Focus internally by objectively looking at the language you use after “but,” and focus externally at how the person across from you reacts throughout the course of the entire conversation.
与同事（或酒吧里的陌生人）进行3–5分钟的对话，每个句子的开头都应加上“是，但...”。。。通过客观地观察您在“但是”之后使用的语言来进行内部关注，并在外部关注您整个谈话过程中与您面对面的人的反应。
What did you notice?
Now have a 3–5-minute conversation with someone, starting every sentence with “Yes, and . . . ” Keep focused internally on your language after “and” and externally on how the person across from you reacts throughout the entire conversation.
你注意到了什么？现在，与某人进行3至5分钟的对话，每个句子都以“是”和“开始”开头。。。”之后，请内部重点关注您的语言，并在整个对话期间外部重点关注您身边的人的反应。
What did you notice?
What was the difference between the “Yes, but” conversation versus the “Yes, and” conversation?A final guiding “Yes, and . . . ” principle is this gift from my good friend and improv legend Susan Messing: “Words are gold.” If you have a supply of gold, you probably don’t want to hand it out randomly to anyone. You bestow your gold to specific people for specific reasons, and you definitely want them to appreciate the fact that they are receiving gold. Similarly if someone gives you gold, you aren’t likely to come up with reasons you can’t use gold and then simply toss the gift into a desk drawer alongside the paper clips, random batteries, and six-year-old receipts.
“是，但”对话与“是，和”对话之间有什么区别？。。“原则是我的好朋友和即兴传奇人物苏珊·梅辛（Susan Messing）送给我的礼物：“言语是黄金。”如果您有黄金供应，则可能不想将其随机分发给任何人。您出于特定原因将黄金赠予特定的人，并且您绝对希望他们欣赏他们接受黄金这一事实。同样，如果有人给您金币，您就不可能提出不能使用金币的原因，然后将礼物与回形针，随机电池和6年历史的收据一起扔到办公桌抽屉中。
You cherish the fact that you have received gold. If everyone involved in a business were to adopt a mind-set that puts a premium on communication—on treating everyone’s right to speak as something precious, like gold—then there would be a lot less wasted words in the workplace. Less waste is always better business.
您珍惜您收到黄金的事实。如果每个从事业务的人都采用一种重视交流的心态-将每个人的话语权视为珍贵的东西（例如黄金），那么工作场所的浪费言语就会少很多。减少浪费永远是更好的生意。