2021-06-23

I watched a video, that is general relativity, which views non-existence as existence. So what happened yesterday could have been the result of the curvature of non-existence. The problem is even if I know so I could do nothing. I could do nothing with the curvature of time and space. According to general relativity, life is an automatic process.

I could understand like this, their misunderstandings, their misbehaviors toward me were due to the curvature of time and space. So as the time goes by, their attitude toward me will change. But at the same time, my attitude or misunderstandings towards them, was also due to the curvature of time and space. So I can change what? I can't change theirs, I can't change mine. That's why last night I really felt difficult. She took my 200 red package without saying goodbye, she deleted me. The imbalance totally hurt me that I have to ask for the money back. So if I explain this phenomenon with this theory, it seems that the curvature of time space has affected both of us, maybe first affected her then affected me. And that the daytime's work was abolished by me was perhaps also due to the curvature of time space. This vague theory seems to be useless.

So everything is a automatic process. The whole universe is an automatic process, within it is each particle and each space playing the rules of the universe, which actually means we don't have a choice. Why do they like the gesture of poking at somebody? I personally have no idea, maybe it's also due to the curvature of time and space.

Everything is automatic. This is very much the fact. That's why we actually don't have much to say. We cannot judge on others as much as others cannot judge on us. What to say if everything is automatic--that actually we are living like a stone. What to judge on a stone? So when we are judging on others, actually we're not judging. Actually, it's equivalent to the effect of the natural way on the stone, which means love is not there, what's taking effect is the existence and nonexistence, two different names.

If the universe is expanding, so are the humans. The expansion of the universe is accelerating. I can feel it.

Sometimes when come back to the traditional thinking, it's all about money, to get more money then everything is possible. But to get money is not easy, I just asked somebody and she told me she gets 100 a month from this APP because she has persisted writing for more than 200 days. I can understand how du Jia has put attention on the work and how to raise her kid. Traditional thinking, it has to be that way.

When I look at the technical equipment, I feel that I'm halfway disabled because my vision has been so poor. I can only view the world with the perspective of existence and nonexistence. From that perspective, I can still feel balance, I can still feel equal with others. They are changing the pipes of the gas pipeline because the gas pipeline in another province has exploded. Many casualties and nobody knows when.

Sometimes when I think about traditional ways that I'm too much changeable, I can easily get tired of something then switch to another then keep changing. Because I often find the detailed work, boring. I told Aussie ke ai that mental illness is not there, it's just the change of our mental state.

Any work is boring, people come to work for money, without money who would go to work? That's why people focus on the money and that can also explain why yesterday I became infuriated. This pattern of thinking keeps people normal. I still have a little regret, yesterday I should continue working. That job can bring me money and respect and more importantly, a normal sense. But I refuse to do that because I feel the job is dangerous tiresome and very much serve like a dog, to the officers. This finally explains my writing is not enough to have an organized mind. That also explains my determination is not enough. That also shows the two sides of my character: one side I want to break the reality, the other side I fear the possible attack from the reality.

I only have one disagreement with zhang lu Bing that we can stay at home yes, it's all the same we are spending time, but accusing each other in the group is definitely not the way. We can write like what Zhuang Zi did. He believes zhuang zi was a critic, but zhuang zi never criticized people in reality like that. In Master Zhuang's articles, I actually feel his respect for Confucius.

I still feel regret, regret that I have lost a job opportunity…But to truly view myself as a philosophical person, then really everything is the same. Chuang Tzu's literature was built on his philosophy.

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