英文 | 中文 |
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Hi, it's been 20 minutes. Have you decided? | 都想二十分钟了决定好要点什么了吗 |
Uh, we still need more time, | 我们还需要点时间考虑 |
- can you come back? - Sure. | -你能等会再回来吗-当然 |
And I'm back. | 我回来了 |
Come on guys you're not buying a house. | 拜托又不是买房子 |
Everything sucks. | 横竖都是难吃 |
Pick the thing that sucks the least, and put it in you mouth. | 就挑个看似最不难吃的塞进嘴得了 |
Max, everyone keeps telling me | 麦克斯大家都说了 |
they can't decide, it's like a support group for bi-sexuals. | 双性恋互助会的常见台词"他们决定不了" |
Something very magical about to happen... | 神奇的事件即将要发生啦 |
Please let it be the Rapture. I need a day off. | 希望要发生的是"被提"我想休个假 |
被提:基督教末世论中末日灾难来临时活着的基督徒被送到天上与基督同在 | |
In two minutes, something very hip is happening. | 两分钟后时尚酷"潮"即将来袭 |
If you have a camera, | 如果你们有相机 |
make sure the flash is on. | 记得要把"闪"光灯打开哟 |
Why is he speaking like that? | 他怎么说话怪里怪气的 |
Wait a minute. | 慢着 |
No one's ordering. | 没人点餐 |
People keep checking the time on their phones. | 大伙一直在注意手机上的时间 |
Everyone's wearing matching New Balance sneakers. | 每个人都穿着一样的新百伦运动鞋 |
Flash mob! | 快闪族 |
快闪族:一群互不认识的人 透过互联网或者短信相约在指定地点同时做出特定动作 | |
Oh, hell, no! | 靠想都别想 |
Caroline, Earl, code red! | 卡洛琳厄尔红色警报 |
I couldn't stop disco, | 老子当年阻止不了迪斯科 |
but I'll be damned if any more of that crap gets by me. | 可谁再跳那破玩意我就开扁 |
Why is flash mob over? | 快闪怎么这么快就完了 |
Flash mobs were over a year ago. | 快闪早在一年前就玩完了 |
Nobody told Han! | 阿憨不知道嘛 |
I want so bad to be hip. | 人家超想成为时尚潮人 |
Start by never saying that again. | 土包子才会把"潮"字挂嘴边 |
Hello? | 您好 |
完整版请点击 | |
- Max, phone! - No! | -麦克斯有电话-别接啊 |
What are you doing? | 你搞毛啊 |
Never answer the wall phone! | 永远别接墙上的电话 |
What? Why? | 什么为什么 |
Only two people call the wall... | 只有两种人会打这只电话 |
collection agencies and the landlord, | 讨债公司以及 |
looking for the original tenant whose name is on the lease! | 打来找最初承租人的房东 |
- Hang up. Quick! - Too late. | -那快挂掉吧-来不及了 |
I've got to man up and face it. | 我还是鼓起勇气来面对吧 |
Hello? | 你好 |
This is what collection agency? | 你是哪间讨债公司来着 |
No, my granddaughter Max is not here. | 不我孙女麦克斯不在 |
She died. | 她死了 |
On her deathbed, she said it was the stress | 临终前她还说她是被债主 |
of being constantly harassed by creditors. | 长期的骚扰给逼死的 |
That's juvenile. | 你太逊了 |
Give me the phone. | 电话给我 |
Hi. So sorry about that. | 你好刚才真是不好意思 |
What's the issue exactly? | 到底是什么事来着 |
Well, I'm sure she has every intention... | 我敢保证她有打算... |
Well, you're a doody head. | 你脑子里装屎了吧 |
Never answer the wall. | 永远不要接这电话 |
But what are you gonna do about it? | 可欠债问题你打算怎么解决 |
You can't just keep lying to collection agencies. | 总不能一直骗讨债公司吧 |
You have to pay your bills. | 欠债还钱天经地义 |
I have a system. | 我有个还债机制 |
I pay everyone five dollars a week... | 每个债主每周还五块钱 |
just enough to keep them from freaking out. | 省得他们抓狂找我麻烦 |
It's the methadone-clinic banking system. | 这叫美沙酮疗法还债版 |
That is a complete waste of money. | 这完全是在浪费钱 |
Five dollars won't even cover the interest you're accruing. | 五块钱都不够付你的循环利息 |
What's the interest rate on your credit card? | 你信用卡的利率是多少 |
Don't know, but my interest rate in the conversation is zero. | 不知道但我对这话题的兴趣度是零 |
Max, how could you not know that? | 麦克斯你怎么能不知道呢 |
That's one of the first things my father taught me about finance. | 我爸最早教我有关金融的事就是利率 |
Where... at Embezzle U.? | 在哪儿教的诈欺大学吗 |
Max, I interned at Merrill Lynch. | 麦克斯我在美林证券公司实习过 |
Let me help you with this. It's the least I can do. | 让我帮你吧这是我唯一能帮你的地方 |
I had nowhere to go. You took me in. | 我无家可归时是你收留了我 |
Let me repay my debt to you by helping with your debt | 让我帮你想法子还债来报答你吧 |
to everyone in the world, apparently. | 你不是欠着一大屁股债嘛 |
If you keep talking, | 如果你再喋喋不休 |
I'm going to Merrill lynch myself. | 我就去自杀图个清静 |
I'm one of those people | 我是那种 |
who gets off on untangling big, complicated messes. | 享受解决纠结问题的人 |
And since you won't let me do your hair, | 你不让我动你纠结的头发 |
let me do your bills. | 那让我解决你的债务吧 |
You want to do my bills? | 你要帮我处理债务吗 |
Here's my portfolio. | 这是我的账单锦集 |
And, uh, if you find chocolate sprinkles in there, | 如果看到上面有屎色巧克力屑 |
they're not chocolate... | 它们可不是巧克力 |
Or sprinkles. | 也不是普通的屑 |
Okay. | 好吧 |
I've divided your bills into three categories... | 我把你的账单分成了三类 |
"impossible," | "偿还无能" |
"next to impossible," | "偿还困难" |
and "how the hell did that happen?" | 以及"脑子进水了才欠的债" |
And I've divided my roommate into three categories... | 我把我的室友也分成三类 |
"annoying," | "讨人厌" |
"super annoying," | "超级讨人厌" |
and "how the hell did that happen?" | 以及"脑子进水了才让她搬进来的" |
I'm closing kitchen in ten minutes. | 我十分钟后就要关厨房了 |
I cannot stay later. | 我不能留太晚 |
I have date with new woman in my life. | 我跟我的新桃花有约 |
She's very special to me. | 她在我心目中很重要 |
I think she may be the one. | 我觉得她是我的真命天女 |
You are both welcome to come watch us have sex. | 欢迎来观看我俩激情床战 |
Just putting it out there. | 我先把"这话儿"说在前头 |
Just put it back in there. | 把你"那话儿"收进里头 |
I'm so excited, I don't even know where to start. | 我好激动都不知道从何说起了 |
Drumroll, please. | 请击鼓 |
No? Okay. | 不击吗好吧 |
完整版请点击 | |
Oh, interesting. | 有意思 |
Here we have a bill from the pet castle, | 你有张来自宠物城堡的账单 |
yet you don't have a pet, and you've never been to a castle... | 可你从没有过宠物也没去过城堡 |
Oh, except White Castle. | 好吧白城堡快餐店除外 |
You used a credit card at White Castle? | 你居然在快餐店用信用卡 |
Yep. That was good weed. | 是啊大麻抽完肚子饿了 |
And the pet thing was 'cause I found a stray | 宠物费用是因为我发现一只流浪动物 |
and had to have her cleaned up | 不把它清理干净 |
before I could get anyone to take her. | 没人会想收养它 |
That would also explain the charge for neutering. | 怪不得还有一笔绝育费用 |
Nah, actually, that was for me. | 其实是我绝育 |
Can't have any more of these coming out. | 以防有小麦克斯出来祸害人间 |
Do you really think it's fiscally smart to be taking in strays? | 你真的认为收留流浪动物是明智之举吗 |
Good point. | 说得对 |
Move out tonight. | 今晚你就搬走吧 |
What is this... a student loan? | 这是什么学生贷款 |
Oh, my God. Max, you went to college? | 天啊麦克斯你还上过大学啊 |
That wasn't a judgment. It was just shocking... | 不是说你不像读书人只是震惊 |
kind of like seeing a baby smoke on the Internet. | 像网上抽烟的婴儿影片一样出人意料嘛 |
I love that kid. | 我爱死那小孩了 |
Max, a student loan is the worst bill you can ignore. | 麦克斯学生贷款是最不能忽视的债务 |
It can never be expunged. | 它会犹如附骨之疽一般 |
We're breaking out "expunged" on a weeknight? | 又不是特殊节日用这么高档的字眼干嘛啊 |
You can't run away from this bill. | 这笔债你是躲不掉的 |
I can run away from anything. | 只要我想躲没有躲不掉 |
I'm on my fifth identity. | 我都用到第五个身份了 |
It's just like that but underwater! | 就像这样不过是在水下 |
Guys! | 伙计们 |
Sorry, we're just closing, guys. | 抱歉我们准备打烊了 |
I'll take them, Max. We need the... | 我来招呼他们吧麦克斯我们得... |
Uh, sit anywhere. | 随便坐 |
What was that Roadrunner move you just pulled? | 怎么跟哔哔鸟一样高速开溜啊 |
There's still a smoke outline of your body | 逃跑路线上尘土飞扬 |
hanging in the air out there. | 你身影的烟尘都还未散去呢 |
Did Wile E. Coyote just come in the diner? | 大笨狼怀尔来餐厅里逮你了吗 |
No, but my ex-boyfriend did. | 不是是我前男友来了 |
Meep, meep. | 哔哔[哔哔鸟的叫声] |
Why is William in Brooklyn? | 为什么威廉会来布鲁克林 |
Why is William in this diner? | 为什么威廉会来这家餐厅 |
Why is every inbred rich guy named William? | 为什么含着金汤匙出生的有钱人都叫威廉 |
I don't want to see him. | 我不想看见他 |
Max, close the door. | 麦克斯把门关上 |
I don't want him to come in here. | 我不想他进来 |
Yeah, 'cause that happens all the time. | 是啊这年头的顾客就"爱"这么干 |
Customers come in the front door | 他们喜欢一进店门 |
and make a beeline through the kitchen | 立马径直穿过厨房 |
to see if there's a waitress hiding in the walk-in freezer. | 去看冷藏室里是否有女服务员躲在里面 |
Okay, what is the deal? | 够了到底怎么回事 |
Tell me fast. | 速度招来 |
I'm nipping like crazy in here. | 里面冷得我都激凸了 |
Ooh, you're smuggling some gumdrops there, too, ice queen. | 哇你也不声不响玩激凸冷淡女 |
His name is William Van Horn, and he's... | 他叫威廉·范·洪恩他是... |
I am leaving for sex. | 我要出发去做爱了 |
Last chance for threesome, foursome, possibly fivesome, | 这是你们参加今晚3P4P的最后机会 |
if her sister's train gets in on time. | 她姐姐火车准时到还能5P哦 |
Oleg, please. | 奥列格拜托 |
I don't have time to be harassed right now. | 我现在没时间被你骚扰 |
Oh, okay. | 那好吧 |
I'll see you and the gumdrops tomorrow. | 明天"凸"点见啦 |
Story. Go. | 故事快说 |
We met at our parents' companies' parent company picnic. | 我们相识于父母公司的聚餐上 |
- His family is the Boston Van Horns... - Story. Stop. | -他家是波士顿范·洪恩家族-故事打住 |
Cut to the end. Do we hate him? | 快进到结尾我们该不该恨他 |
He dumped me when I lost all my money... | 我一破产他就甩了我 |
never called me, not an email, nothing. | 电话邮件都没有完全切断联系 |
Oh, we hate him. | 好我们恨他 |
Wait. Which one's your ex... | 等等哪个是你的前任 |
the Asian one, the black one? | 亚洲小子还是黑人 |
I'm kidding. No, seriously. | 开玩笑的啦不说真的 |
The white one or the really, really white one? | 是那个白人还是那个典型死白人 |
Really, really white. | 典型死白人 |
Service, service, service, | 服务服务服务 |
service, service, serv... | 服务服务服务 |
You heard your bro. Service him. | 你也听见你兄弟说啥了"服侍"他呀 |
Oh, crushed! | 哇攻势凶猛啊 |
Hey, you'd better be careful, | 你讲话最好小心点 |
'cause I can give you a run for your money. | 我可以害你事倍钱半哦 |
I don't have any money. | 我都没钱怎么对半 |
Well, with a body like that, you don't need any. | 有这么好的身材你不需要挣钱 |
Oh! Ba-bam! | 妙啊 |
Did you actually think that was a good line, | 你真觉得那样很有梗吗 |
or is that what you do | 还是你就是那种 |
so the check gets paid by Richie Rich? | 跟着富二代蹭吃喝的马屁米虫 |
Hold on. Who said I was rich? | 打住谁说我有钱了 |
- Let me see your Hands. - What... | -让我看看你的手-干嘛 |
Looking to see if I have poor-people calluses? | 看看我有没有穷人的老茧吗 |
No, I wanted to see how big your penis is. | 不我只是想看看你鸡鸡有多大 |
With hands that size, you better be rich. | 只有这种大小没点钱还怎么混呀 |
Oh! Shazam! | 直击要害 |
Not cool, bro. | 装毛有梗啊兄弟 |
- What's your name? - Michelle Obama. | -你叫什么-米歇尔·奥巴马 |
We're closed. | 我们打烊了 |
I'm William. Give me your number. | 我叫威廉给我你的电话吧 |
Why? So you can put it in your phone | 为什么好让你存进手机里 |
and never call or text or email? | 直到地老天荒也不联系吗 |
Seriously. | 我是认真的 |
You wouldn't know what to do with a good girl if you had one. | 给了你你也不懂得珍惜好女孩 |
But you're not a good girl. That's why I want your number. | 你又不是所以我才要你的电话啊 |
So how about it? | 到底给不给号码啊 |
We're closed. | 我们打烊了 |
Your sign says "open till 2:00." | 你们牌子上写"两点关门" |
My, my. | 哎呀哎呀 |
How time does fly. | 欢乐的时光总是过得特别快 |
2:00, gentlemen... nighty night. | 两点了先生们又到了时候说拜拜 |
What did I ever do to you? | 我哪里招你惹你了 |
You didn't mention me, did you? | 你没提到我对吧 |
Ugh, no. I just gave him... | 当然没有我刚让他 |
just get to the end. Do you hate him? | 快进到结尾你恨他吗 |
I hate him. | 我恨他 |
That was the weirdest thing, seeing him come in here. | 看见他走进这里感觉真的好怪 |
No, the weirdest thing is coming in here right now. | 不最怪的人现在正走过来呢 |
Why no? | 哪里不好啦 |
Girl at Urban Outfitters said it was hip. | UO店里的女孩说这样很潮呢 |
You look like a lesbian I made out with once on a dare. | 我打赌输了被逼去亲热的拉拉就这打扮 |
Han, you're adorable exactly as you are. | 憨你自己的样子就很可爱了 |
Why are you trying to be hip? | 为什么你老想变潮人呢 |
To meet girls. | 想认识女生呀 |
It's not that bad in here. | 这里也没这么糟嘛 |
I thought my first trip to a laundromat | 我还以为我人生第一次去自助洗衣店 |
would be a lot more depressing. | 会更苦闷凄惨呢 |
Six years we spent together, | 共度了六年的时光了 |
and now he won't even look at me. | 他却懒得看我一眼 |
Oh, not the bag. | 别再拿账单袋了 |
I just looked at his bag... now yours? | 才看完他的裤裆袋现在你又掏出你的 |
Max, it's driving me crazy. | 麦克斯这真让我抓狂 |
What did you major in in college? | 你在大学主修什么 |
I majored in changing topics. | 主修转移话题 |
So what did you ever see in your ex, | 你到底看上你前任哪点 |
the lost Winklevoss twin? | 那个失散的山寨温克吾斯兄弟 |
We're not talking about William. | 现在不谈威廉 |
We're talking about your bills. | 只谈你的账单 |
Well, I'm talking about your Bill! | 我也只谈你的比尔 |
Oh, face! | 吃瘪吧 |
Max...We're trying to start a cupcake business. | 麦克斯我们将一起开创蛋糕事业 |
And I can't believe I'm about to say this | 真没想到我得跟你说这件事 |
but with my father's financial baggage, | 由于我爸在金融上有不良记录 |
you're our best chance for credit. | 你是我们申请贷款的最佳人选 |
Listen, everybody's broke in their 20s. | 听着谁二十多岁的时候不是穷的 |
And everybody hides from stuff. | 人人都有要逃避的事情 |
You run into freezers. | 你选择躲进冷藏室 |
I practice ignorance and blackout drinking. | 我选择视而不见和用酒精麻痹 |
What's happening right now? | 这是怎么回事 |
Hola, dudarinos. | 你好姐们儿 |
The laundromat's closing early. | 自助洗衣店要提前打烊了 |
We've rented it out for our '80s pop-up disco party. | 被我们租来办八零年代人人弹起迪斯科派对 |
Bobby. | 波比 |
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