Chapter5 You are Always Choosing

Part1 Q&A

1. What does "you are always choosing" mean? Can you define it and give it an example?

It means we are always making choosing about our values, matrics and responsibilities. For example, if I broke up with my boyfriend, I can choose either to try to improve myself and be better or crying and sad. The former one, abviously, lead us to a better life.

2. What's the point of telling William James's story?

Although we don't always control what happens to us, we always control how we interpret what happens to us, as well as we respond.

3. Any responsibility problems you had with your boyfriend/girlfriend or parents? If any, please tell us your story.

At the age of 18, I fell in love with a handsome boy. We are always good friends and I told he that I was really attached to him, but he thought I was too naive and innocent, so refused me. After that, I tried to improve myself from inside to outside. Several years later, he came back to me and said he thought he missed me in past. However, at that moment, I found I have had a new life and wouldn't be influenced by he anymore.

Part2 Expressions

1. drag on

And as the years dragged on, his father (a wealthy businessman) began ridiculing him for laziness and his lack of talent.

drag on, 可以算是pass away的一种说法，都是指时间流逝，pass away指匆匆流逝，而drag on偏向于慢慢流走,时间过得有点慢的感觉

dic: How much longer is this going to drag on?

my: The class really dragged.

2. black sheep

William was the family oddball, the black sheep.

black sheep, related to someone who is regarded by other members of their family or group as a failure or embarrassment.害群之马，败家子

dic: Amy's always been the black sheep of the family.

3. home in on

The few times he did, he would home in on the smallest behavious from any woman he talked with that could possibly indicate he wasn't attractive enough for her and then convince himself that she didn't like him, even if she really did.

home in on, give all your attention to something. 把注意力集中于某事，在Peak中多次出现

dic: The critics immediately homed in on the group's newly-elected members.

my: The scientists always home in on the cutting-edge technology.

4. dump

My first girlfriend dumped me in spectacular fashion.

dump, leave or abandon

dic: She dumpted the kids at her mother's and went to the theatre.

my: He dumpted his wife annd kids, going alone.

5. pop up

She was never going to pop  up and fix things for me.

pop up, means that appear in a place or situation unexpectedly. 突然出现

dic: She was startled when Lisa popped up at the door all smiles.

my: Problems always pop up.

Part3 Thoughts

之前看过一段话：学习自然是难得，是痛苦的。可是没有寒窗，何来未来？所以也没有必要问未来在哪里，能在哪里？在当下的自制和克制里。比起忍耐的辛苦以及面对目标有巨大差距的种种情绪，我更害怕令自己失望、害怕自己后悔觉得我本可以。全力以赴并对选择负责！别无他法！

我们的每一个选择成就了当下的自己，而作为成年人，必修课就是要学会承担责任，对自己的选择负责。之前谈过一个男朋友，在我提出分手后的很长时间，他久久不能释怀，大概过了一两年吧，才慢慢释怀。如果可以，我想把这本书推个他，在选择中学会成长。相对来说，在这方面，我就成熟理智一些，我从来不会后悔或者说无法接受我的选择所带来的后果，我总告诉自己：做最坏的打算，怀最好的期待。