Habits That Farmonize Life
Every now and then, I read a self--development book and then self--evaluate my achivements in life and my future goals. One book that really has me excited is Stephen R. Covey's "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People".
Habit No. 1 is to "be proactive." To Covey, being proactive means to be responsible for our own lives, to have the iniviative and the responsibility to make things happen. Proactive people do not blame circumstances, conditions, social conditioning or feelings for thieir befaviour. Instead they base thier behaviour on their on their own set of character values.
Proactive people control their responses to physical, social or psychological stimuli.
That is why some people in prison or suffering from a terminal illness or a severe physical handicap maintain magnificent emotional strength. They are not "improsoned" by conditions but are in control fo their lives,
Habit No. 2 is to "begin with the end in mind." This is a intriguing concept whereby you imagine yourself attending your own funeral service and listening to your friends and family talk about you.
What do you want each one of them to say about your character, your contibutions to society and your achievements in life? You should focus on the way you want to be remembered when you depart this world.
Habit No.3 is to "put first things first. " It's effective self--management. Covey believes that we should spend more time on managing important activities that contribute to our mission, our values and our high prioruty goals.
Habit No. 4 is to "think win/win." That means you don't win arguments ot negotiations all the time only to lose at long--term relationships. It means mutual benefit in all human interactions. In a win/win situation, every one feels good about the decision.
Sometimes, some people go for a lose/win situation. For example, I might want to "lose" a discussion to give someone "face". However, the concept of win/win is generally a good philosophy in interdependent relationships. Your "victory" is not at the expense of another person.
Habit No. 5 is to "seek first to understand, then to be understood." As Covey says, listen with your ears, your heart. Listen for feeling, for behaviour.
We very often evaluate, interpret and advise somebody even before wo fully understand the person. We want to be heard before hearing fully. We tend to ask leading questions from our own frame of reference. Hence, the habit of empathic listening is a better way.
Habit No. 6 is to "synergize". This means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. That means teamwork, team building and developing unity with other humans would create new and reative solutions.
The essence of synergy is to value differences. We should respect them, build on thier strengths and compemsate for thier weaknesses.
Habit No. 7 is to "sharpen the saw." This means to renew the four dimensions of our makeup--physical, spiritual, mental and social/emotional. These dimensions are interrelated. Your spiritual health affects your social/emotional strength. Your physical health affects your mental health.
Social renewal can take the form of reflecting on how we interact with people. If you want to be a highly effective person, develop the seven habits suggested by Covey.
Life is what you make of it.