PAYING FOR THINGS FOR WOMEN

I want to talk to you about a topic that is always on the minds of men...

It's the topic of PAYING FOR THINGS FOR WOMEN.

  This includes paying for drinks and dinners,
buying her gifts and taking her out to shows.

  The question is: "Should I pay?"

  Most guys feel OBLIGATED to pay if they go out
with a woman on a date.

  Most guys feel COMPELLED to buy women gifts,
flowers, etc. and "take women out" to "show them a
good time".

  In fact, the "standard" approach for many guys
is simply asking a woman "Can I take you out
sometime?"

  Of course, there's ALWAYS more than meets the
eye when it comes to these kinds of issues, and
this one is no exception.

  Take a moment and ask yourself this question:

  WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON HERE? WHY DO MEN USUALLY
BUY THINGS FOR WOMEN? WHAT'S THE REAL ISSUE?

  If you're willing to be completely open and
honest about it, you'll realize that most men:

1) Use dinners, flowers, gifts, and other "favors"
as bait and/or payment for women's time and
attention.

2) Don't feel deep down like an ATTRACTIVE woman
would want to be with them JUST BECAUSE SHE
ENJOYED THEIR COMPANY and felt ATTRACTION for
them.

3) Have no idea what the ACTUAL affect of trying
to lure women with these kinds of things is.

4) <MOST IMPORTANTLY> DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.

  I can remember when I used to think that I
needed to always take a woman out, buy them
dinner, and pay for whatever I could think of to
get a woman's attention.

  It was really a horrible feeling.

  The worst part was that the more nice things I
did for women when I first met them, the more
apprehensive and "standoffish" they seemed to act.

  It was almost as if they interpreted my actions
as ME TRYING TOO HARD, and they instinctively
played "hard to get" in response.

  The question of "Should I pay for dinner?" is
as old as dirt. So let me answer it with one of my
typical multi-part answers.

  And the first part of my answer is going to be
another question to YOU...

  WHY WOULD YOU PAY FOR A WOMAN'S DINNER?

  And for that matter, why would you buy gifts
and do favors for a woman that you just met and
don't know?

  IT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU WANT SOMETHING.

  And guess what?

  Attractive women are VERY perceptive. They can
usually size a guy up in a matter of SECONDS.

  She KNOWS what's on your mind. And she's going
to take all the clues you give her to decide how
much you like her... and how much of a WUSS you
are as well. (If you have a case of Wuss-itis, and
you literally can't even approach a woman...
nevermind take her on a date, then you should
probably start by reading THIS:

http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/13338/OnBeingAMan/

  Now I'm going to throw you a real curve ball...

  I have friends, who are very good with women,
that take women to NICE dinners all the time. I'm
talking two hundred PLUS dollars for dinner and
drinks ALONE.

  I also have friends who almost NEVER take women
out for so much as a cup of coffee... yet they
have more women than they can handle.

  Is this possible?

  Are the guys who are buying dinner actually
SUCCESSFUL at bribing women with food?

  Or do both techniques work?

  Well, the interesting thing I've found - after
studying this topic for YEARS - is that most guys
who are REALLY GOOD with women have something in
common in this area.

  While some may buy expensive dinners for women,
and some may buy nothing, NONE of them use the
idea of paying for things as "bait" or "bribes" or
"obligation"...

  In other words, it's the INTENTION behind the
actions that comes through loud and clear.

  My friends that take women on dates to
beautiful restaurants would be GOING THERE ANYWAY,
and they just happen to be taking the woman along
with them.

  Or if they open a bottle of expensive wine,
THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN DRINKING IT THEMSELVES.

  I also have to mention here that all of the
guys I know in BOTH camps know how ATTRACTION
works, and how to make women feel attracted to
them REGARDLESS of whether or not they pay for
things.

  To explain this differently, women INSTANTLY
RECOGNIZE it when they're dealing with a man who
feels the need to "buy her attention", and they
usually either play hard to get, or they just
leave.

  You can do anything and have it mean anything.

  There's a way to say "You're beautiful" and
have it mean "You're not at all attractive", and
there's a way to pay for things and NOT have it
say "I'm a needy Wussy who feels the need to buy
you things so you'll like me".

  Get it?

  One of the problems that a lot of guys have is
the real-world issue of money.

  It's expensive to take women out all the time.

  It's expensive to buy flowers and drinks and
gifts.

  And if you're single and dating a lot of women,
it can be out of the question to always be paying
for things.

  Well, the good news is that you don't need to
pay for ANYTHING to be successful with women.

  And the other good news is that if you LIKE to
do nice things and go to nice dinners, THERE IS A
WAY to do these things with women and not give off
the "I don't deserve you, so I'll pay you for your
attention" vibes.

  Think about the following two ways to invite a
woman out to dinner with you:

1) "Can I take you out to dinner on Friday night?"

2) "I'm thinking of going to dinner on Friday at
one of my favorite restaurants, and you should
join me."

  What's the difference?

  The difference is that the first way IMPLIES
that you are TAKING her to dinner.

  The second IMPLIES that you're living your
life, doing your own thing, and being your own
person... and that if she'd like to come along,
she's welcome.

  The second also doesn't make you sound like a
WUSSY.

  So what's my personal opinion of this whole
topic?

  Well, I don't think it's a good idea to start
off with a woman by PAYING for things.

  It's much better to allow her to like you and
feel ATTRACTION for you without the distraction
and expense.

  If you understand how ATTRACTION works, you can
trigger it using your body language and
communication. No money required.

  Then, if you want to enjoy dinner or a drink at
one of your favorite places, INVITE HER TO JOIN
YOU.  Don't ask her if you can "take her out".

  This will make a VERY powerful impression.
Trust me.

- THE FLIP SIDE OF THIS COIN...

  There is another "dark" side to this whole
conversation.

  It's the idea that men feel OBLIGATED or
INDEBTED to a woman when the woman spends time
with them, gives them attention, etc.

  If you're out with a beautiful woman who
OBVIOUSLY has many men who pursue her, it's easy
to get into the mind set of "I have to do extra
things, buy her gifts, and go the extra mile to
compete with the other guys".

  Sometimes emotions come up that make you feel
like you want to "show her" how you feel for her
early on... after only knowing her a short while.

  OR EVEN WORSE, many guys feel like they OWE A
WOMAN SOMETHING BECAUSE SHE'S GONE OUT WITH THEM
AND/OR HAD SEX WITH THEM. And often, this
"something" is either "dinner and gift payments"
or a RELATIONSHIP.

  You must realize that EVEN THE MOST BEAUTIFUL
WOMEN IN THE WORLD want MORE than just "payment
for their time".

  Attractive women have dinners, money, and gifts
thrown at them CONSTANTLY. You're not going to do
ANYTHING to make her more attracted to you by
doing these things.

  As you know, I talk a lot about the concept of
ATTRACTION.

  ATTRACTION is the powerful sexual emotion that
you feel when you want to be intimately and
romantically involved with someone of the opposite
sex.

  Men typically feel it when they see a beautiful
woman.

  WOMEN typically feel it when they're in the
presence of a man who knows how to communicate
with that part of her that triggers her ATTRACTION
"mechanism".

  Most guys either don't know this, never figure
it out, or don't pay attention to it.

  Instead of learning how women work, and doing
those things that will trigger her ATTRACTION,
they just make the same mistakes and beat their
heads up against the same walls over and over.

  And they do things like asking women out to
dinner, buying flowers and TRYING TO PAY for
attention.

  It doesn't have to be this way!

  If you're one of the guys who has been paying
for women's attention all your life, then do
yourself a favor right now and STOP IT!