words & phrases
1. wrote in large letters across two pages of a notebook that innocence ends when one is stripped of the delusion that one likes onself.
1) delusion 【dɪluːʒən】
1> C a false idea
I was under the delusion that he intended to marry me.
Synonyms: misconception, mistaken idea, misapprehension, fancy
2> U Delusion is the state of believing things that are not true.
This was not optimism, it was delusion.
2) strip
1> to deprive 剥夺
he was stripped of his pride
2> to take or pull (the covering, clothes, etc) off (oneself, another person, or thing)
to strip a wall
to strip a bed
3> A strip of something such as paper, cloth, or food is a long, narrow piece of it.
serve dish with strips of fresh raw vegetables.
..a new kind of manufactured wood made by pressing strips of wood together and baking them.
4> a long narrow area
...a short boat ride across a narrow strip of water.
...Goff's Charcoal Hamburgers on Lover's Lane, a busy commercial strip in North Dallas.
2. I marvel that a mind on the outs with itself should have nonetheless made painstaking record of its every tremor, I recall with embarrassing clarity the flavor of those particular ashes.
1) [mɑːʳvəl]
1> V ( when intr, often foll by at or about; when tr, takes a clause as object)
to be filled with surprise or wonder
2> N
something that causes wonder
3> N
astonishment
2) nonetheless
ADV = nevertheless 虽然如此，但是
despite anything to the contrary (usually following a concession);
There was still a long way to go. Nonetheless, some progress had been made...
His face is serious but nonetheless very friendly.
3) tremor
[tremə]
1> C
a small earthquake.
2> C
If an event causes a tremor in a group or organization, it threatens to make the group or organization less strong or stable.
News of 160 redundancies had sent tremors through the community.
Overproduction and consequent low market prices for wine caused economic tremors.
3> C
A tremor is a shaking of your body or voice that you cannot control.
He felt a tremor in his arms.
The dangerous, excitable tremor was still in her voice.
Synonyms: shake, shaking, tremble, trembling
3. This failure could scarcely have been more predictable or less ambiguous ( I simply did not have the grades), but I was unnerved by it
1) unnerve [ʌnnɜːʳv]
If you say that something unnerves you, you mean that it worries or troubles you.
The news about Dermot had unnerved me.
Tony was unnerved by the uncanny familiarity of her face.
Synonyms: shake, upset, disconcert, disturb
4. curiously exempt from the cause-effect relationships which hampered others.
1) exempt [ɪgzempt]
1> ADJ
If someone or something is exempt from a particular rule, duty, or obligation, they do not have to follow it or do it.
Men in college were exempt from military service.
Children under two years are exempt.
Synonyms: immune, free, excepted, excused
2> V
To exempt a person or thing from a particular rule, duty, or obligation means to state officially that they are not bound or affected by it.
South Carolina claimed the power to exempt its citizens from the obligation to obey federal law.
Companies with fifty-five or fewer employees would be exempted from the requirements.
Synonyms: grant immunity, free, except, excuse
2) cause-effect relationships 因果效应
3) hamper [hæmpə]
1> V
If someone or something hampers you, they make it difficult for you to do what you are trying to do.
The bad weather hampered rescue operations.
I was hampered by a lack of information.
Synonyms: hinder, handicap, hold up, prevent
2> C
A hamper is a large basket with a lid, used especially for carrying food in.
...a picnic hamper.
hammer a tool
5. I lost the conviction that lights would always turn green for me, the pleasant certainty that those rather passive virtues which had won me approval as a child automatically guaranteed me not only …… but happiness, honor, and the love of a good man; lost a certain touching faith in the totem power of good mannners, clean hair, and proved competence on the Stanford-Binet scale.
1) totem [toʊtəm]
1> C
In some societies, a family's totem is the particular animal, plant, or natural object which they regard as a special symbol and which they believe has spiritual significance.
16. To such doubtful amulets had my self-respect been pinned, and I faced myself that day with the nonplussed apprehension of someone who has come across a vampire and has no crucifix at hand.
1) amulet
[æmjʊlət] C
An amulet is a small object that you wear or carry because you think it will bring you good luck and protect you from evil or injury.
Synonyms: charm, fetish, talisman, juju
2) nonplussed apprehension
[nɒnplʌst] ADJ
If you are nonplussed, you feel confused and unsure how to react.
She expected him to ask for a scotch and was rather nonplussed when he asked her to mix him a martini and lemonade.
Synonyms: taken aback, stunned, confused, embarrassed
2> [æprɪhenʃən] var-n
Apprehension is a feeling of fear that something bad may happen.
[formal]
It reflects real anger and apprehension about the future.
I tensed every muscle in my body in apprehension.
Synonyms: anxiety, concern, fear, worry
3) crucifix
[kruːsɪfɪks] C
a cross with a figure of Christ on it.
7. Although to be driven back upon oneself is an uneasy affair at best, rather like trying to cross a border with borrowed credentials, it seems to me now the one condition necessary to the beginnings of real self-respect.
credentials plural
a letter or certificate giving evidence of the bearer's identity or competence
8. Most of our platitudes notwithstanding
1) [plætɪtjuːd] C
A platitude is a statement which is considered meaningless and boring because it has been made many times before in similar situations.
[disapproval]
Why couldn't he say something original instead of spouting the same old platitudes?
...a stream of platitudes, outlining many problems but offering few solutions.
2) notwithstanding [nɒtwɪðstændɪŋ] PREP / ADV 尽管；虽然
If something is true notwithstanding something else, it is true in spite of that other thing.
[formal]
He despised William Pitt, notwithstanding the similar views they both held.
尽管他和威廉·皮特看法相似，却瞧不起他。
Synonyms: despite, in spite of, regardless of
9. The tricks that work on others count for nothing in that well-lit back alley where one keeps assignations with oneself; no winning smiles will do here, no prettily drawn lists of good intentions.
1) well-lit 明亮的
10.One shuffles flashily but in vain through one's marked cards——the kindness done for the wrong reason, the apparent triumph which involved no real effort, the seemingly heroic act into which one had been shamed.
1）[ʃʌfəl]
walk without lifting your feet properly off the ground.
2) [flæʃi]
If you describe a person or thing as flashy, you mean they are smart and noticeable, but in a rather vulgar way. (vulgar: in bad taste or of poor artistic quality.)
[informal , disapproval]
He was much less flashy than his brother.
...a flashy sports car.
Synonyms: showy, loud, over the top [informal] , flamboyant
11. dismal fact
[dɪzməl] ADJ
Something that is dismal is bad in a sad or depressing way.
...Israel's dismal record in the Olympics.
My prospects of returning to a suitable job are dismal.
It was a dismal failure.
Synonyms: bad, awful, dreadful, rotten [informal]
12. how you muff this one
[mʌf]
1> V
If you muff something, you do it badly or you make a mistake while you are doing it, so that it is not successful.
[informal]
He muffed his opening speech.
...a muffed opportunity.
Synonyms: botch, bungle, fluff [informal] , spoil
2> N
A muff is a piece of fur or thick cloth shaped like a short hollow cylinder. You wear a muff on your hands to keep them warm in cold weather.
13. the sleeping hand on the coverlet
[kʌvəʳlɪt]
A coverlet is the same as a bedspread.
14. the promises subtly broken, the gifts irrevocably wasted through sloth or cowardice
1）subtly--subtle
1> Something that is subtle is not immediately obvious or noticeable. 不易察觉的;不明显的;
...the slow and subtle changes that take place in all living things
2> A subtle person cleverly uses indirect methods to achieve something. 机智的;机巧的;狡猾的
I even began to exploit him in subtle ways...
3> Subtle smells, tastes, sounds, or colours are pleasantly complex and delicate. 清淡的;隐约的;柔和的
subtle shades of brown
2）sloth
[sloʊθ]
1> U
Sloth is laziness, especially with regard to work.
[formal]
He admitted a lack of motivation and a feeling of sloth.
2> C
A sloth is an animal from Central and South America. Sloths live in trees and move very slowly.
3）cowardice [kaʊəʳdɪs] U
Cowardice is cowardly behaviour.
He openly accused his opponents of cowardice.
Synonyms: faint-heartedness, weakness, softness, fearfulness
15. To protect that some fairly improbable people
not likely or probable; doubtful; unlikely
16. those people miss it who think that self-respect has necessarily to do with not having safety pins in one's underwear.
pin
1> V
If you pin something on or to something, you attach it with a pin, a drawing pin, or a safety pin.
They pinned a notice to the door.
Everyone was supposed to dance with the bride and pin money on her dress.
He had pinned up a map of Finland.
Synonyms: fasten, stick, attach, join
2> V
If someone pins you to something, they press you against a surface so that you cannot move.
I pinned him against the wall.
I'd try to get away and he'd pin me down, saying he would kill me.
She fought at the bulk that pinned her.
Synonyms: hold fast, hold down, press, restrain
3> V
If you pin your hopes on something or pin your faith on something, you hope very much that it will produce the result you want.
The Democrats are pinning their hopes on the next election.
17. something that keeps those who have it locked in some unblighted Eden, out of strange beds, ambivalent conversations, and trouble in general.
1) blight [aɪ]
1> VAR-N
You can refer to something as a blight when it causes great difficulties, and damages or spoils other things.
This discriminatory policy has really been a blight on America.
Manchester still suffers from urban blight and unacceptable poverty.
Synonyms: curse, suffering, evil, depression
2> V
If something blights your life or your hopes, it damages and spoils them. If something blights an area, it spoils it and makes it unattractive.
An embarrassing blunder nearly blighted his career before it got off the ground.
...thousands of families whose lives were blighted by unemployment.
...a strategy to redevelop blighted inner-city areas.
Synonyms: frustrate, destroy, ruin, crush
3> U
Blight is a disease which makes plants dry up and die.
2) ambivalent [æmbɪvələnt]
ADJ
If you say that someone is ambivalent about something, they seem to be uncertain whether they really want it, or whether they really approve of it.
She remained ambivalent about her marriage.
He maintained an ambivalent attitude to the Church throughout his long life.
Synonyms: undecided, mixed, conflicting, opposed
18. a separate peace, a private reconciliation
[rekənsɪlieɪʃən]
1) VAR-N
Reconciliation between two people or countries who have quarrelled is the process of their becoming friends again. A reconciliation is an instance of this.
...an appeal for reconciliation between Catholics and Protestants.
The couple have separated but he wants a reconciliation.
Their handshake appeared to be a gesture of reconciliation.
Synonyms: reunion, conciliation, rapprochement, appeasement
2) Singular N
The reconciliation of two beliefs, facts, or demands that seem to be opposed is the process of finding a way in which they can both be true or both be successful.
...the ideal of democracy based upon a reconciliation of the values of equality and liberty.
Synonyms: harmonizing, balancing, squaring, adjustment
19. the careless, suicidal...
[ˌsu:ɪˈsaɪdl]
1) ADJ
People who are suicidal want to kill themselves.
Her suicidal tendencies continued for several more weeks.
2) ADJ
If you describe an action or behaviour as suicidal, you mean that it is very dangerous.
They realized it would be suicidal to resist in the face of overwhelming military superiority.
...the suicidal bicycle rickshaws of New Delhi.
20. incurably dishonest..
adj
1) not curable; that cannot be cured, remedied, or corrected:
an incurable disease.
2)not susceptible to change:
his incurable pessimism.
3）N
a person suffering from an incurable disease.
21. The measure of its slipping prestige is that
[(prestiːʒ]
1> U
If a person, a country, or an organization has prestige, they are admired and respected because of the position they hold or the things they have achieved.
...efforts to build up the prestige of the United Nations.
It was his responsibility for foreign affairs that gained him international prestige.
...high prestige jobs.
Synonyms: status, standing, authority, influence
2> ADJ
is used to describe products, places, or activities which people admire because they are associated with being rich or having a high social position.
...such prestige cars as Cadillac, Mercedes, Porsche and Jaguar.
22. Nonetheless, character——the willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life——is the source from which self-respect springs.
23. They had instilled in them, young, a certain discipline
REGIONAL NOTE: in BRIT, use instil
[ɪnstɪl]
If you instill an idea or feeling in someone, especially over a period of time, you make them think it or feel it.
The tough thing is trying to instill a winning attitude in the kids.
24. file in
25. the child duly recording the event and noting further that those particular Indians were not hostile. Indians were simply part of the donnee.
26. Anything worth having has its price.
27. the venture will go bankrupt, that the liaison may not turn out to be one in which every day is a holiday because you married to me.
28. a habit of mind that can never be faked but can be developed, trained, coaxed forth.
29. as an antidote to crying
30. it is difficult in the extreme to continue fancying oneself Cathy in Wuthering Heights with one's head in a Food Fair bag.
31. imagine maintaining any kind of swoon, commiserative or carnal, in a cold shower.
32. But those small disciplines are valuable only insofar as they represent larger ones.
33. saved by a crash program in cricket
34. flickering on the liana call forth deeper
35. To have that sense of one's intrinsic worth which constitutes self-respect is potentially to have everything.
36. On the other, we are peculiarly in thrall to everyone we see, curiously determined to live out-since our self-image is untenable
37. We flatter ourselves by thinking this compulsion to please others an attractive trait: a gift for imaginative empathy, evidence of our willingness to give.
38. no role too ludicrous
39. At the mercy of those we cannot but hold in contempt, we play roles doomed to failure before they are begun, each defeat generating fresh despair at the urgency of divining and meeting the next demand made upon us.
40. we could say no without drowning in self-reproach is an idea alien to this game. Every encounter demands too much, tears the nerves, drains the will, and the specter of something as small as an unanswered letter arouses such disproportionate guilt that answering it becomes out of the question.
41. To assign unanswered letters their proper weight, to free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves--there lies the great, the singular power of self-respect.
42. the final turn of the screw