Less Romance, More Data
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[1]Did you know that if you’re planning to break up with your partner, you should do it before Valentine’s Day? Did you know that if you are taking your date out to dinner that night,spicy/'spaɪsi/Thai is a much better bet than coldsushi/'sʊʃi/? And did you know that the links in the previous two sentences will not lead you back to some bogus/'bogəs/survey in Cosmo or Glamour/ˈɡlæmɚ/but to a version of Cosmo and Glamour edited by people with lab coats and Ph.D.s, because, as the motto/‘mɑto/for the website Science of Relationships makes clear, “The important things in life deserve/dɪ'zɝv/data.”
deserve/dɪ’zɝv/vi. 应受，应得
[2]Relationships have been studied as an academic subject at least since the 1960s, but the greatest interest has always been the points of failure. Most famously, John Gottman’s “love lab” filmednewlywedsdiscussing acontentious/kən'tɛnʃəs/topic for 15 minutes and claimed to be able to predict with 83 percent accuracy whether a couple would divorce. But now “relationship science” is taking acuefrom all those happiness studies. That unlikely academic discipline has its origins in psychologist Martin Seligman’s insight that although humanmisery/'mɪzəri/had beenamply/'æmpli/scrutinized音/'skrutənaɪz/andcatalogued/'kætəlɔgd/, happiness remained a subject largely unexplored. Similarly, a group of young psychology professors has shifted the focus of relationship studies to figuring out how and why they succeed. Some of the researchto dateis collected in a new book, The Science of Happily Ever After, by psychology professor Ty Tashiro.
to date 到目前为止
contentious/kən’tɛnʃəs/adj. 诉讼的；有异议的，引起争论的；爱争论的
misery/‘mɪzəri/n. 痛苦，悲惨；不幸；苦恼；穷困
amply/‘æmpli/adv. 充足地；广大地
scrutinized音/‘skrutənaɪz/vi. 细阅；作详细检查
catalogued/‘kætəlɔgd/把…编目分类
[3]As with happiness studies, some of the findings of the new relationship science seem blindingly obvious, and others just confirm what we all wish to be true. Still, it’s hard not to get drawn in, because who doesn’t want to believe there is scientific truth about “what really mattersin the quest/kwɛst/forenduringlove,” as the book’s subtitle promises? And what matters, according to Tashiro, is the opposite of whatrom-comstell you: Forget love at first sight, magic moments, animal attraction. When you are in the grip/ɡrɪp/of those, instead think slowly, access reason, and channel your higher intellectual functioning.
in the quest
quest/kwɛst/vi. 追求；寻找
enduring/ɪn’dʊrɪŋ/持久的
rom-coms 浪漫喜剧
grip/ɡrɪp/n. 紧握；柄；支配；握拍方式；拍柄绷带
in the grip of 受...控制
[4]Tashiro, who is full ofcharming/'tʃɑrmɪŋ/stories, tells one about his friend Huggins who fell in love with the “produce princess” in the supermarket andvowedto win heraffectionby standing behind her in line and thenleapingahead to swipe his credit card and pay for her groceries. Only as soon as he got there he noticed the “large sparkling diamond on herring finger” and tremendous/trə'mɛndəs/awkwardness/ˈ ɔk wɚdnɪs/ensued/ɪn'su/.This all could have been avoided, according to the science of relationships, if Huggins had resisted/rɪ'zɪst/his first instinct and stopped to use his brain.
charming/'tʃɑrmɪŋ/adj. 迷人的；可爱的
ring finger 无名指
tremendous/trə’mɛndəs/adj. 极大的，巨大的；惊人的；极好的
awkwardness/ˈ ɔk wɚdnɪs/尴尬
ensued/ɪn'su/跟着发生，接着发生；继起
resisted/rɪ’zɪst/vt. 抵抗；忍耐，忍住
[5]Lately our culture has subjected all sorts of formerly hunch/hʌntʃ/-driven endeavors/ɛnˈdɛvɚ/— making great TV shows, spotting baseball talent,discerningvoter behavior,recruitinggood employees—to very specific algorithms. Perhaps it’sinevitable/ɪn'ɛvɪtəbl/that love, among the least logical of all human activities, should be the next target for reform/rɪ'fɔrm/. In Moneyball, Michael Lewis described how Big Data transformed thescoutingprocess.Scoutsused to choose a recruit because he looked and felt to them like a promising baseball player. Now they choose based onsabermetrics. Tashiro advocates subjecting the process of recruiting a mate to the same kind of cold calculation. In Data, A Love Story, Amy Webb describes gaming online dating sites to find her perfect match. Tashiro explains why you should game the entire dating pool to avoid the usual pitfalls and increase your chances of success:
hunch-driven直觉驱动
endeavors/ɪnˈdɛvə/n. 努力；尽力
inevitable/ɪn’ɛvɪtəbl/adj. 必然的，不可避免的
reform/rɪ’fɔrm/n. 改革，改良；改正
[6]Imagine how much heartache/'hɑrtek/could beaverted/ə'və:tid/if you could look into a crystal ball after every first date. Instead of having to go through months of trial and error in the middle of the process, while trying to find out whether a partner would provide misery or happiness, with a crystal ball you would know from the beginning whether a partner was good for you or not.
averted/ə'və:tid/v. 避免（avert的过去分词）；转开
[7]Fortunately, advances in relationship science can make this wish for a crystal ball come true.Researchers are discovering what a relationship will be like years into the future by assessing the traits of the partners, such as personality, values and interests. Furthermore, these traits can be decoded in early stages of dating, which can permit singles to predict with more accuracy which relationships will end up happily ever after.
[8]Less heartache! More accuracy! Happily ever after! Sounds great. How does it work? Tashiro begins with thecautionary/'kɔʃənɛri/tale of his high school friend Anna, who once told him she wanted to find a man who was “hot, athletic/æθ'lɛtɪk/and Catholic/'kæθlɪk/.” As David Kestenbaum once explained on an episode of This American Life, the universe of possible mates is limited to begin with, so narrowing the choices to three absolutes is a mistake. And Anna’s particular list is not all that helpful. When given a list, physicalattractivenessalmost always ends up in the top requirements for a mate, particularly for men. But that desire—the “beauty trap,” Tashiro calls it—is just proof that we are still in the grips of our “caveman instincts,” when physical attractiveness was a proxy forreproductivefitness. (For women the equivalent is choosing a wealthy man—aleftoverfrom the days when resources werescarce.) What people should be doing, argues Tashiro, is looking for some combination of personality traits—intelligence, creativity,extroversion,agreeableness, emotionalstability—that turn them on and that would actually form the foundation of a long-lasting relationship.
cautionary/'kɔʃənɛri/adj. 警告的；劝诫的
athletic/æθ'lɛtɪk/体格健壮的
Catholic/‘kæθlɪk/adj. 天主教的；宽宏大量的
[9]Then, once a relationship does start, people should be on the lookout/'lʊk'aʊt/for red flags because, Tashiro argues, they are always there from the start: “What you see in a partner is what you get. Forever.” Tashiro repeats this dictum/'dɪktəm/many times. He belongs to the personality-test school of psychology, which is wary/'wɛri/of the notion that people can change all that much. If some snafu/snæ'fʊ/happens at the airport and your boyfriend startsfreaking out, there is a good chance he will score high on the neurotic/nʊ'rɑtɪk/scale, which, it turns out, is the single biggest predictor of relationship instability/ˌɪnstə'bɪləti/. If your boyfriend is fun and spontaneous/spɑn'tenɪəs/and exciting and really, really into you really, really quickly, there is a high chance he is a “novelty/'nɑvlti/seeker,” which in the idiom/'ɪdɪəm/of relationships translates into “cheater.”
lookout/‘lʊk'aʊt/
dictum/‘dɪktəm/n. 格言；声明；法官的附带意见
wary/‘wɛri/adj. 谨慎的；机警的；惟恐的；考虑周到的
snafu/snæ’fʊ/adj. 天翻地覆的，混乱的
freaking/ˈfrikɪŋ/out吓坏了
neurotic/nʊ’rɑtɪk/adj. 神经过敏的；神经病的
instability/ˌɪnstə’bɪləti/n. 不稳定（性）；基础薄弱；不安定
spontaneous/spɑn’tenɪəs/adj. 自发的；自然的；无意识的
novelty seeker,猎奇者
novelty/‘nɑvlti/n. 新奇；新奇的事物；新颖小巧而廉价的物品
[10]All of this is something your mother or Dr. Phil would tell you. And in fact, that’s another one of the consistent findings of relationship science: that family and friends are much better predictors of the stability of a relationship than the two people in it. But that should tell you something as well. The unfailing truth about love is that we consistently ignore things we know to be true, that we give advice to our friends and siblings that weroutinelyignore. If Anna Karenina had taken a relationship survey about Vronsky, she would have rated him as high neurotic and high novelty seeking. She probably would have advised her sister not to go near him. And yet, and yet.
[11]The model couple in Tashiro’s book are Ethan and Catherine, his godparents. Theybrew/brʊ/homemadecider/'saɪdɚ/and tell him riveting/'rɪvɪtɪŋ/stories “about a past that seemed more certain, gentler/'dʒɛntl/and happier.” They fit the prototype to a T, he writes: “low neuroticism, moderate/'mɑdərət/novelty seeking and high agreeableness.” And what do you know? They are living happily ever after, he writes. Yet the story Tashiro tells us a few pages earlier of how they met would not have predicted that. Ethan was a starting quarterback for the high school team, and Catherine was the head cheerleader. One day Ethanflew outof bounds andsmashedinto Catherine, knocking her down. They looked into each other’s eyes andsighed. After the game, Ethan wanted to see her but found out she had a boyfriend named Lars. So he sent two younger players tojimmy/'dʒɪmi/open the hood/hʊd/of Lars’ car and remove a few engine parts. Ethan then pulled alongside Lars’ nonfunctioning car, motioned to Catherine to roll down her window, and asked, “You want to go for a soda?” And without a moment’s hesitation/ˌhɛzə'teʃən/, “Catherine jumped out of Lars’s car and into Ethan’s life.”
brew/brʊ/vt. 酿造；酝酿
cider/‘saɪdɚ/n. 苹果酒；苹果汁
riveting/‘rɪvɪtɪŋ/adj. 吸引人的
gentler/‘dʒɛntl/adj. 优雅的，温和的
moderate/‘mɑdərət/adj. 稳健的，温和的；适度的，中等的；有节制的
jimmy/‘dʒɪmi/vt. 撬开
hood/hʊd/引擎盖
pull alongside停靠在 ... 一边
hesitation/ˌhɛzə’teʃən/n. 犹豫
[12]Tashiro calls this “one of the best love stories I have ever heard,” but he does not seem to recognize that it goes against all of the theories he is spouting in his book. The rest of us will notice that there isn’t much difference between Catherine and Ethan’s meet-cute and the story about the produce princess. Two years earlier and maybe Huggins and the produce princess would have fallen madly in love. A few more neurotic points and maybe jumping into Ethan’s car would have been the worst decision of Catherine’s life. (After all, the guy wrecked/rekt/another guy’s engine and then stole his girl.)
wrecked/rekt/vt. 破坏；使失事；拆毁
[13]And what would Tashiro make of Anna Karenina? After all, Vronsky fell for Anna instead of her sister Kitty. Anna has the great passion of the novel but winds up dead on the train tracks. Meanwhile, Anna’s “bad decision” paves/pev/the way for Kitty to marry Levin and make the novel’s only happy marriage. In love, we generally refuse to believe known truths until bitter experience hasseared/sɪr/them into our addled/'ædld/brains. And even then the ultimate outcomes are unknowable/ʌn'noəbl/. Heartache and mad, blind love have always plagued/pleɡ/the human condition, and likely they always will. Data, our latest crush, is no match for them
paves/pev/vt. 铺设；安排；作铺设之用
seared/sɪr/vt. 烤焦；使…枯萎
addled/‘ædld/adj. 头脑混乱的；腐坏的
plagued/pleɡ/v. 困扰（plague的过去分词）；折磨
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This all could have been avoided, according to the science of relationships, if Huggins had resisted/rɪ'zɪst/ his first instinct and stopped to use his brain.
Researchers are discovering what a relationship will be like years into the future by assessing the traits of the partners, such as personality, values and interests