7 Habits of Highly Effective People7.17

Paradigm of Interdepence
Words

1.fix

You are kind of into "quick fix", aren't you?

Remembet that a quick fix is a mirage.

[countable] something that solves a problem:
例：Robinson called the proposal a quick fix (=a temporary or easy solution) of limited value.
造句：To solve a problem using a quick fix can only deal with it superficially.

2.duplicity  [djuːˈplɪsəti]

And if our words and our actions come from superficial human relations techniques(Personality Ethics) rather than from our own inner core(The Character Ethic), others will sense that duplicity.

dishonest talk or behaviour, especially by saying different things to two people 欺骗；（尤指）搞两面派
例：They were accused of duplicity in their dealings with both sides.

造句： We can not build the relationship with others through duplicity.

3.minutiae[maɪˈnuʃiˌi]

One person's mission is another person's minutiae.

 very small or unimportant details
例：Much of his early work is concerned with the minutiae of rural life.

造句：We tend to get buried under the minutiae of the daily life.

这句话让想到了Eric前几天发的新概念3文章。One man's meat is another man's poison.

4.attend

Attend to the little things

(熟词生意)attend to somebody/something ：deal with business or personal matters:
例：I may be late – I have got one or two things to attend to.

造句：Jack Ma must have a couple of business to tend to everyday.

5.steel

I had to steel myself for what lay ahead, because I knew it would be hard to really get the issues out and to achieve a deep, common understanding and commitment.

steel yourself ;to prepare yourself to do something that you know will be unpleasant or upsetting/steel yourself to do something
  例：He steeled himself not to look away.

造句：Knowing the task will be very hard, I steel myself for the upcoming diffeiculties.

---

Thoughts

 读完今天的内容越来越觉得这是本全能的书。之前只看标题我以为不过是自我管理或者时间管理类型的书。但实际上这里面不仅有提升自我的内容，还有关与如何建立人际关系甚至亲子教育等许多方面的内容。不过其实建立良好的人际关系也是在提高我们的效率，试想在单位和同事争锋相对，回家和另一半吵架，得浪费多少时间呢？

1.understand the individual

当我们和其他有不同意见甚至吵架时，我们总是觉得是对方的错，反正自己有100个理由是正确的。

Our tendency is to project our own autobigraphies waht we think other people want or need.

所以我们觉得问题解决的唯一方法就是对方道歉。这其实就是把自己都不想做的事情却强加于他人身上。很多夫妻最终不欢而散很多都是因为这样吧。正所谓己所不欲，勿施于人。

You can't talk your way out of problems you behave yourself into.

The Goden Rule says "Do unto others as you would have others do undo you.'

所以当跟他人的关系出现问题，不要总埋怨对方，要站在对方的角度想想他为什么这样做？自己又能做什么？要从根本上改善关系，而不是仅仅一个quick fix

It's hard to not get impatient. It takes character to be proative, to focus on your Circle of influence, to nurture growing things, and not to "pull up the flowers to see how the roots are coming."

2.attendeding lilltle things

每个人都有一颗你看不见的玻璃心，可能一不小心就触碰到了这脆弱敏感的部分。所以当她可能因为你说的一句话有些不开心时，不要怪她小心眼，这也许就是她在意的地方。

People are very tender, very sensitive inside. I don't believe age or experience makes much difference. Inside, even within the most toughened and calloused exterioys, are the tender feelings and emotions of herat.