The thought of parting has been swirling in my mind in the past few days, through reality and fantasy.
I've always seen life as a journey, an irreversible journey that one can only move forward. The status of moving ahead, as well as one's pace of doing so, are both beyond our ability to control. In which it results in the almost unbearable fact of parting from one after another; may it be someone, may it be something, may it be a place, may it be an era.
For years we have witnessed those who we love came and left; what was worse, we have also learned through a hard way of our very own powerless.
Nevertheless, some of us have managed to retain the faith of believing. After countless disappointment and pains, we still believe in life. Yes those who are precious have gone; but surely there will be others coming, with a different form, and touching the same soft spot in our heart.
Yet there should be a higher version of such faith, a purer version. When we say how we can now accept the letting goes with a profound faith in tomorrow, it is mostly from a pessimistic voice. In a word, we have given up fighting. Our very own powerless then served as the ultimate motivation for a chain of actions, and letting go easily became a symbol of maturity.
How pathetic.
Even if most incidents, encounters, relationships; are meant to end at some point, nothing should fade without a good fight. For those once actually meant something to us; they deserve more, they deserve much from us as to reflect how much we have gained from them.
Why yield? Why deny our own feelings? Why do nothing?
“I suppose in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go, but what always hurts the most is not taking a moment to say goodbye.”
As it is, to be haunted by that regret of not doing anything is the consistent pain that I do not want to experience in life. To make a real effort, to fight till the last second, and to say goodbye in a most dignified and powerful way as how it deserves; is what I will keep reminding myself.