IF UR

  Wake  up early in the morning and blink at the phone to see it is just 7 am. It seemsto be a little misty outside and the world still lingers in its last night’ssleep. It suddenly occurs to me how 7 am appears to be in Beijing, in Suzhou,in my hometown. So long that I tend to forget or it’s just because of timedifference? To my relief, I am to return in 2 weeks.  Turning on the phone, some unread news poppedout. It’s Elaine, shouting in our Wechat group about buying a car and drivingus back to alma master during the National Holiday, about missing us, aboutfree again with her usual hahahh; pretending that everything is ok. I know sheis only trying very hard to cover but want to pour out with us.  Painfulness possesses me and I really want togive her a big hug and tell her: darling it’s OK. You deserve the best which isyet to come. However, I find this so pale, like I gradually grew immune to mama’stalking on and on, about early to bed, not going outside alone, calling myaunt, about my brother’s marriage….I remembered how she sighed and waved megoodbye, how she complains when she cannot get in touch with me…One article Iread this morning asks how long have you not spend the Mid-autumn Festival withyour parents?  I cannot remember andrealizes that it could be more difficult in the future. Last night a friend ofmine posts how his mother is overjoyed at his special gift. I feel so sorry.Worse still, I am so far away from them almost 4000km. I think Confucius isright when he points out to his friend that: While his parents are alive, theson may not go abroad to a distance. If he does go abroad, he must have a fixedplace to which he goes. Oooh, I miss my parents and wishes everything be finewith them.