A wicked child

不知道大家有没有听说过italki 这个网站？它是个类似VIP abc和51talk 一样的老外1对1语言学习平台，是收费的。但这个网站里有个社区，见下图：

italki网站

在“社区”里面，有个网友互助的板块，是完全免费的。我自己比较喜欢“作文簿”功能。你可以提交自己的作文，然后会有母语人帮你修改，但这并不适合初学者。就如同中国人的语文水平有高有低，对方虽然是英语母语人士，但并不是专门的语言老师，在作文批改上可能存在良莠不齐的情况。这个时候，就需要你具有一定的识别能力。你要对别人修改的地方进行思考，他为什么这样修改，他修改得是否合理，是否还有其他修改办法。

然而，这种免费的方式并不是很有效率，是这种模式必然的缺陷，但在不花钱的情况下，会比自我批改的反馈要好很多。如果想要快速提高，还是得找专门的老师进行训练。

这里提供几个小贴士：

• 1- 发上去的文章，尽量不要太长。一来，文章太长，别人不愿意花时间看；二来别人修改起来很费时，所以尽量简明扼要。
• 2- 作文内容最好写发生在自己身上的事情，或者是带点“幽默”的事情。因为不论中外，每个人都喜欢好玩的事儿，你的文章有意思，别人看着乐，就更愿意修改你的文章。例如我下面附带的作文，提交后不到10秒钟就收到了反馈。
• 3- 文章尽量不要用新闻体和议事体等说教的形式，因为这些作文在内容上可谓“相当无聊”，非常不受欢迎，通常要等很久才有人愿意批改，甚至是无人批改。

以上三个坑，我都跳过。我当时还想是不是文章太对，自己的被刷下去了，别人看不到。过了几个小时后，我又重新发了一次，结果依然是石沉大海，哈哈。

---

以下是我最近的作文练习：

A wicked kid

I used to be a wicked kid. From age 4 to 6, I was always acting up at home and around the neighborhood. Even in my mom's office, the maternity department in a hospital, I was also a trouble maker. Since my mom was a nurse, I could wander around the whole office whenever and wherever apart from the labouring operations room.

What I did most of that time was tucking milk bottles to the new-born babies‘ mouths when they cried. Sometimes I played tricks on them. While the newborns were sucking milk, I suddenly took off their bottles, then they would cried and I hang on there for few seconds， and then gave them back. I did this back and forth several times a day.

Now I become much more mature and quiet. I have grown up to be an introvert adult who doesn't like speaking up the likes and dislikes in life. I prefer to self absorbing all the negative emotions by myself. But It seems I got quite a load there since I have never kicked the elephant out of the room after college graduation.

有两个网友批改了我的作文，你们觉得哪个更地道？

第一个版本：

---

第二个修改版本：