19
Beyond Good and Evil
善与恶的彼岸
1. Early on Sunday evening, Chloe and I were sitting in the economy section of a British Airways jet, making our way back from Paris to London. We had recently crossed the Normandy coast, where a blanket of winter cloud had given way to an uninterrupted view of dark waters below. Tense and unable to concentrate, I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. There was something threatening about the flight, the dull background throb of the engines, the hushed grey interior, the candy smiles of the airline employees. A trolley carrying a selection of drinks and snacks was making its way down the aisle and, though I was both hungry and thirsty, it filled me with the vague nausea that meals may elicit in aircraft.星期天晚上五六点钟，克洛艾和我坐在英国航空公司喷气式飞机的经济舱里，从巴黎回伦敦。飞机刚刚飞越诺曼底海岸的上空，冬天的云层散开退去，下面是一览无遗的暗暗海水。飞机尾部引擎的微微颤动，机舱里宁静的灰暗色调以及乘务员甜甜的微笑让人觉得这次飞行有些危险，一位乘务员推着饮料和点心从走道上过来了。尽管我又饿又渴，但飞机上的食物让我有点恶心。
2. Chloe had been listening to her Walkman while dozing, but she now pulled out the plugs from her ears and stared with her large watery eyes at the seat in front of her.克洛艾一边打瞌睡，一边在听歌。但这会儿她取下耳塞，水汪汪的大眼睛怔怔地盯着前面的座位。
'Are you all right?' I asked.“你还好吧？”我问道。
There was a silence, as though she had not heard. Then she spoke.一片寂静，好像她没有听到一般。接着她开口了。
'You're too good for me,' she said.“你对我太好了，”她说。
'What?'“你说什么？”
'I said, "You're too good for me."'“我说‘你对我太好了’。”
'What? Why?'“什么？为什么这么说？”
'Because you are.'“因为你确实是这样嘛。”
'What are you saying this for, Chloe?'“你这么说是什么意思，克洛艾？”
'I don't know.'“我不知道。”
'If anything, I'd put it the other way round. You're always the one ready to make the effort when there's a problem, you're just more self-deprecating about your...'“如果我有什么不对的地方，那我以后就改掉好了。其实每次有了问题，你都是很乐意把它们解决好。只不过你总在贬低自己……”
'Shush, stop, don't,' said Chloe, turning her head away from me.“中医，别说了，求你别说了，”克洛艾说着，把头扭开了。
'Why?'“为什么？”
'Because I've been seeing Will.'“因为我见过威尔了。”
'You've what?'“你干什么了？”
'I've been seeing Will, OK.'“我见过威尔了，听到了吧？”
'What? What does seeing mean? Seeing Will?'“什么？见过是什么意思？见过威尔？”
'For God's sake, I've been to bed with Will.'“看在上帝份上，我和威尔上床了。”
'Would madam like a beverage or light snack?' enquired the stewardess, choosing this moment to introduce her wares.“小姐要不要饮料或快餐？”乘务员这会匀正好推着小车过来了。
'No, thank you.'“不要，谢谢。”
'Nothing at all, then?'“什么都不要？”
'No, I'm all right.'“是的，不要。”
'How about for sir?'“这位先生呢？”
'No thanks, nothing.'“不要，谢谢，什么都不要。”
3. Chloe had started to cry.克洛艾开始哭了起来。
'I can't believe this. I just cannot believe this. Tell me it's a joke, some terrible, horrible joke, you've been to bed with Will. When? How? How could you?'“我不相信，一点儿也不相信。告诉我这是个笑话，一个可怕的笑话，你和威尔上床了，什么时候？怎么上床的？你怎么可以这样？”
'God, I'm so sorry, I really am. I'm sorry, but I... I... I'm sorry...'“天啊，对不起，真的很抱歉，真的，但是我……，我……，对不起……”
Chloe was crying so hard, she was unable to speak. Tears were streaming down her face, her nose was running, her whole body shaken by spasms, her breathing halting, gasping. She looked in such pain, for a moment I forgot the import of her revelation, concerned only to stop the flow of her tears.克洛艾失声痛哭，话都说不出来。眼泪、鼻涕顺流而下，整个身体剧烈地抽搐着，气都喘不过来了，只好张大嘴。她看起来太痛苦了，在那么一瞬间，我都忘了她讲的这些话语的意义，只想止住她的眼泪。
'Chloe, please don't cry, it's all right. We can talk about this. Tidge, please, take this handkerchief. It'll be OK, it will, I promise...'“克洛艾，别哭了，没关系，我们还可以谈一谈。蒂吉，求你了，这儿有手帕。一切都会好的，会的，我保证……”
'My God, I'm so sorry, God I'm sorry, you don't deserve this, you really don't.'“天啊，我抱歉，天啊，真是对不起，你不应该得到这样的结果，你不应该。”
Chloe's devastation temporarily eased the burden of betrayal. Her tears represented a brief reprieve for my own. The irony of the situation was not lost on me--the lover comforting his beloved for the upset betraying him has caused her.克洛艾的心力交瘁暂时平息了背叛的责难。她的泪水暂缓了我的痛苦。这可笑的局面没有被我错过——恋爱者安慰着因为背叛他而心烦意乱的伴侣。
4. The tears might have drowned every last passenger and sunk the whole aeroplane had the captain not prepared to land soon after they had begun. It felt like the Flood, a deluge of sadness on both sides at the inevitability and cruelty of what was happening: it simply wasn't working, it was going to have to end. Things felt all the more lonely, all the more exposed in the technological environment of the cabin, with the clinical attentions of stewardesses, with fellow passengers staring with the smug relief others feel in the face of strangers' emotional crises.如果机长没有在克洛艾一开始哭泣就准备降落的话，那么眼泪也许早已淹没了每一位乘客，把整个飞机都给浸泡在其中了。一切就像洪水一样。悲伤的洪水在所发生之事的不可避免性和残酷性的两岸恣意咆哮，但毫无作用，我父注定要结束了。周围的环境、机舱里的氛围、乘务员的关心以及其他乘客望着这对陌生人情感的危机所表露出的庆幸都使这一切显得愈加孤寂和突出。
5. As the plane pierced the clouds, I tried to imagine a future: a period of life was coming brutally to an end, and I had nothing to replace it with, only a terrifying absence. We hope you enjoy your stay in London, and will choose to fly with us again soon. To fly again soon, but would I live again soon? I envied the assumptions of others, the security of fixed lives and plans to take off again soon. What would life mean from now on? Though we continued holding hands, I knew how Chloe and I would watch our bodies grow foreign. Walls would be built up, the separation would be institutionalized, I would meet her in a few months or years, we would be light, jovial, masked, dressed for business, ordering a salad in a restaurant -- unable to touch what only now we could reveal, the sheer human drama, the nakedness, the dependency, the unalterable loss. We would be like an audience emerging from a heart-wrenching play but unable to communicate anything of the emotions they had felt inside, able only to head for a drink at the bar, knowing there was more, but unable to touch it. Though it was agony, I preferred this moment to the ones that would come, the hours spent alone replaying it, blaming myself and her, trying to construct a future, an alternative story, like a confused playwright who does not know what to do with his characters (save kill them off for a neat ending...). All this till the wheels hit the tarmac at Heathrow, the engines were thrown into reverse, and the plane taxied towards the terminal, where it disgorged its cargo into the immigration hall. By the time Chloe and I had collected our luggage and passed through customs, the relationship was formally over.We would try to be good friends, we would try not to cry, we would try not to feel victims or executioners.当飞机穿过云层时，我努力想象着未来，一段生活将残酷地走到终点，留给我的将只有一个可怕的空白。祝你在伦敦过得愉快，欢迎不久后再次乘坐我们有航班。不久后再次乘坐，我会再次乘坐吗？我妒忌其他人的旅行安排，妒忌不久后将再次乘坐飞机的那些人稳定的生活和计划。从此生命的意义是什么？虽然我们依旧手拉着手，但我知道克洛艾和我都将会感觉到彼此的身体逐渐陌生、遥远。无形的墙已建起来了，分手已成定局。我会在几个月或几年后再次见到她，我们会轻松愉快，戴上面具，衣着正式，在餐馆里点一份沙拉——但再也不能触及我们现在可以展示给彼此的一切：赤身露体、情感依赖，这是纯粹的戏剧场景，是不可更改的失落。我们会像看过一场肝肠寸断的戏剧之后的观众一样，无法交流内心深处的感受，明明知道还有更多的东西，却不能言及，只能去酒吧喝酒。纵然痛苦，我更愿意留住这眼前的时刻，而不要面对接踵而来的那些日子：我将一人几小时几小时地重新体会，批评我自己，也责备克洛艾，努力建造一个新的将来、又一个故事，就如一个心智迷乱的剧作家，不知该怎样安排他的角色（除非杀死他们来得到一个干干净净的结尾……）。这此念头一直萦绕在我脑海，直到飞机滑向航线终端，准备将它的乘客卸在入检大厅。当克洛区和我收拾好行李，走出海关检查站之时。我们的关系就正式画上了句号。我们会努力保持一份友谊，会尽量忍住泪水，会设法抛却牺牲者或刽子手的感觉。
6. Two days passed, numb. To suffer a blow and feel nothing --in modern parlance, it means the blow must have been hard indeed. Then one morning, I received a hand-delivered letter from Chloe, her familiar black writing poured over two sheets of creamy-white paper: 两天的时光麻木地溜走了。遭受一个打击，却毫无知觉——照现代的说法，这打击一定是过于沉重。接下来，有一天早上，我收到克洛艾请人送来的一封信，两张奶白色的纸上，写满了她那熟悉的字迹：
I am sorry for offering you my confusion, I am sorry for ruining our trip to Paris, I am sorry for the unavoidable melodrama of it. I don't think I will ever cry again as much as I did aboard that miserable aeroplane, or be so torn by my emotions. You were so sweet to me, that's what made me cry all the more, other men would have told me to go to hell, but you didn't, and that's what made it so very difficult.我抱歉，把自己的困惑带给你；我抱歉，毁了我们的巴黎之行；我抱歉，这整个事情不可避免的戏剧性收场。我想我再也不会像那天在可怕的飞机上那样哭泣，那样伤心欲绝。你对我是那么好，就是你的好使我越发流泪。换作别的男人，他们也许对我大骂出口，而你，你没有，就是这让一切变得是多么艰难啊。
You asked me in the terminal how I could cry and yet still be sure. You must understand, I cried because I knew it could not go on, and yet there was still so much holding me to you. I realize I cannot continue to deny you the love you deserve, but that I have grown unable to give you. It would be unfair, it would destroy us both.在机场里你问我，为什么一边哭，一边又那么坚定。你一定理解，我之所以哭是因为我知道，我们不可能再一如往日，然而还有那么多的东西把我和你联系在一起。我意识到我不能继续拒绝给予你应该得到的爱，但是我却已经不能再给予你了。再这样下去是不公平的，会毁了我们两个。
I shall never be able to write the letter which I would really want to write to you. This is not the letter I have been writing to you in my head for the last few days. I wish I could draw you a picture, I was never too good with a pen. I can't seem to say what I want, I only hope you'll fill in the blanks.我永远都无法把我真正想对你说的话写在这儿。为不是我前几天在脑海里写有那封信。我希望我能画一幅画给你，我从来都不擅言辞，我根本言不由衷，我只希望你能把这些空白填上。
I will miss you, nothing can take away what we have shared. I have loved the months we have spent together. It seems such a surreal combination of things, breakfasts, lunches, phone calls in mid-afternoon, late nights at the Electric, walks in Kensington Gardens. I don't want anything to spoil that. When you've been in love, it is not the length of time that matters, it's everything you've felt and done coming out intensified. To me, it's one of the few times when life isn't elsewhere. You'll always be beautiful to me, I'll never forget how much I adored waking up and finding you beside me. I simply don't wish to continue hurting you. I could not bear for it slowly all to go stale.我会想念你，没有什么能把我们曾经共同拥有的那些带走。在我们共度的那几个月的时光里，我付出的是真爱。而今看来，从前的那些事，那些早餐，那些午餐，那些下午两点钟的电话，那些在伊莱克特里克度过的深夜，那些在肯辛顿公园的散步，都如梦幻一般。我不想让任何东西毁损它们。当你陷在爱河里的时候，时间的长短并不重要，重要的是你曾感受到的和做过的每一件事。对我而言，我们的爱情是我一生中为数不多的一次，让我感受到生命有了一个中心。你在我眼中永远都那么出色，我永远难忘，当我早上醒来时，看到你躺在我身边，我是多么爱你。我只是不想再继续伤害你，我无法忍受让一切慢慢地变味。
I don't know where I will go from here. I will perhaps spend time on my own over Christmas or spend it with my parents. Will is going to California soon, so we'll see. Don't be unfair, don't blame him. He likes you very much and respects you immensely. He was only a symptom, not the cause of what's happened. Excuse this messy letter, its confusion will probably be a reminder of the way I was with you. Forgive me, you were too good for me. I hope we can stay friends. All my love...我不知该怎么开始新的生活，也许会一个人过圣诞节或与父母呆在一起。威尔不久就回加利福尼亚，不要责怪他，不要对他不公平。他非常喜欢你，极度尊敬你。他只是一个症状，并不是这已发生的一切的原因。原谅我这封乱七八糟的信，它的乱也许会提醒我曾和你在一起的生活方式。原谅我，你对我太好了。我希望我们仍然是好朋友。我一切的爱……
7. The letter brought no relief, only reminders. I recognized the cadences and accent of her speech, carrying with it the image of her face, the smell of her skin -- and the wound I had sustained. I wept at the finality of the letter, the situation confirmed, analysed, turned into the past tense. I could feel the doubts and ambivalence in her syntax, but the message was definitive. It was over, she was sorry it was over, but love had ebbed. At the end of a relationship, it is the one who is not in love who makes the tender speeches. I was overwhelmed by a sense of betrayal, betrayal because a union in which I had invested so much had been declared bankrupt without my feeling it to be so. Chloe had not given it a chance, I argued with myself, knowing the hopelessness of these inner courts announcing hollow verdicts at four thirty in the morning. Though there had been no contract, only the contract of the heart, I felt stung by Chloe's disloyalty, by her heresy, by her night with another man. How was it morally possible this should have been allowed to happen? 信没有给我带来任何解脱，只是勾起了更多的回忆。我从中辨识出她话语的口音和声音的强弱。随着信一起来到的有她的脸，皮肤的香味，以及我所承受的伤痛。这信的告别式言语让我泪流满面，一切都被确定、被分析，成为过去时。我能够感受到她语句中的疑虑和矛盾，但是传递的信息肯定无疑。一切都结束了，她为结束感到抱歉，但是爱情早已退去。我被一种出卖感淹没，之所以有这种感受是因为我曾经付出如此之多的感情却在我尚未察觉之时就已宣告终结。克洛艾没有给它一个机会，我和自己争论着，知道一切都是无望的，内心的法庭在那个凌晨的四点半就宣判了一个沉重的裁决。虽然我们之间除了心灵的约定，什么都没有，但我依然感受到深深的伤害，因为克洛艾的背叛，因为克洛艾的离经叛道，因为她与另一个男人上床。从道德的角度来看，这一切怎么可能发生？
8. It is surprising how often rejection in love is framed in moral language, the language of right and wrong, good and evil, as though to reject or not reject, to love of not to love, was something that naturally belonged to a branch of ethics. It is surprising how often the one who rejects is labelled evil, and the one who is rejected comes to embody the good. There was something of this moral attitude in both Chloe's and my behaviour. Framing her rejection, she had equated her inability to love with evil, and my love for her as evidence of goodness -- hence the conclusion, made on the basis of nothing more than that I still desired her, that I was 'too good' for her. Assuming that she largely meant what she said and was not simply being polite, she had made the ethical point that she was not good enough for me, by virtue of nothing more than having ceased to love me -- something she had deemed made her a less worthy person than I, a man who,in all the goodness of his heart, still felt able to love her.令人吃惊的是，爱情的拒绝通常是形成在道德的语言中、对与错的语言中、善与恶的语言中。似乎拒绝或不拒绝、爱与不爱，是自然而然地属于伦理学的分支。令人吃惊的是，通常，拒绝的一方被标上了恶的标记，而遭拒绝的一方从此代表着善。在克洛艾和我的行为举止上也带有这种道德的态度。在做出拒绝时，克洛艾把自己的不能再爱等同于恶，而我对她的爱则被视为善——从而在我仍然渴望她的基础上得出结论：我对她“太好”。假如她说的大半是真话，而不是礼貌的措辞，那么她得到的一个符合道德的结论就是：她对不起我，因为她不再爱我——这使她自认为没有我高尚，因为我内心完美，仍然深受着她。
9. But however unfortunate rejection may be, can we really equate loving with selflessness, and rejection with cruelty, can we really equate love with goodness and indifference with evil? Was my love for Chloe moral, and her rejection of me immoral? The guilt owed to Chloe for rejecting me depended primarily on the extent to which love could be seen as something that I had given selflessly - for if selfish motives entered into my gift, then Chloe was surely justified in equally selfishly ending the relationship. Viewed from such a perspective, the end of love appeared to be a clash between two fundamentally selfish impulses, rather than between altruism and egoism, morality and immorality.但是不管拒绝是多么不幸，我们真能认为爱即无私、拒绝就是残忍吗？我们真能认为爱即善良、冷漠就是罪恶？我对克洛艾的爱就是道德的，而克洛艾对我的拒绝就是道德沦丧？因为拒绝我而让克洛艾产生的内疚道德取决于我付出的爱在多大程度上能被视为是无私地付出——如果我的付出是自私的，那么克洛艾同样自私地结束我们的关系，理所当然地可以被认为是正当的。从这个角度出发，爱的结束是两种从根本上说都是自私的力量的冲突。而不是利他与利我，道德与非道德之间的冲突。
According to Immanuel Kant, a moral action is to be distinguished from an amoral one by the fact that it is performed out of duty and regardless of the pain or pleasure involved. I am behaving morally only when I do something without consideration of what I may get in return for it, when I am guided solely by duty: '* (Groundwork of the Metaphysic of Morals, Immanuel Kant).在康德看来，道德行为与不道德行为的区别就在于，道德行为的实施是出于责任，不在乎其中的甘苦。只有当我在行为处事时没有考虑回报，只有当我仅仅是在顺应责任感的指引，我的行为才能被认为是符合道德标准的。
10. For any action to be morally good, it is not enough that it should conform to the moral law - it must also be done for the sake of the moral law.' Actions performed as a result of disposition cannot count as moral, a direct rejection of the utilitarian view of morality based around inclination. The essence of Kant's theory is that morality is to be found exclusively in the motive from which an act is performed. To love someone is moral only when that love is given free of any expected return, if that love is given simply for the sake of giving love.“对于任何道德的行为来说，符合道德法则尚不够，还必须是为了道德法则而做。”带有倾向的行为不能被视为是道德的，对于道德功利主义观点的直接批评就是它的倾向性。康德理论的实质在于，道德只存在于行为实施的动机中。只有当爱不求回报，只是为了付出爱时，这种爱才是道德的。
11. I called Chloe immoral because she had rejected the attentions of someone who had on a daily basis brought her comfort, encouragement, support, and affection. But was she to blame in a moral sense for spurning these? Blame is surely due when we spurn a gift given at much cost and sacrifice, but if the giver has derived as much pleasure from giving as we derive from receiving, then is there really a case for using moral language? If love is primarily given out of selfish motivations (i.e. for one's own benefit even as it arises out of the benefit of the other), then it is not, in Kantian eyes at least, a moral gift. Was I better than Chloe simply because I loved her? Of course not, for though my love for her included sacrifices, I had made them because it made me happy to do so; I had not martyred myself, I had acted only because it accorded so perfectly with my inclinations, because it was not a duty.我认为克洛艾背叛了道德，这是因为她抛却一个日复一日地给予她慰藉、鼓励、支持和关爱的人的关心。但是因为践踏了这些，她就应该受到道德的谴责吗？当践踏他人付出很大代价和牺牲才能给予的馈赠时，受到谴责是合理无疑的，但如果馈赠者从馈赠过程的本身得到了很大的快乐，就如我们接受馈赠时的快乐一样，那么还真正可以从道德的角度对这种践踏行为予以谴责吗？如果爱的付出主要是出于自私的动机（例如：为了自己的利益，甚至这利益源于对方的利益），那么，至少在康德看来，这就不是一个符合道德标准的馈赠。难道仅仅因为我爱克洛艾，我就比她更好？当然不是，虽然我对她的爱包括在牺牲，但我做出这些牺牲是因为这样做我感到快乐，我并没有遭受痛苦。我这样做只是因为这符合我的意愿，因为这并非出于责任。
12. We spend our time loving like utilitarians, in the bedroom we are followers of Hobbes and Bentham, not Plato and Kant. We make moral judgements on the basis of preference, not transcendental values. As Hobbes put it in his Elements of Law: Every man calleth that which pleaseth and is delightful to him, good; and that evil which displeaseth him: insomuch that while every man differeth from other in constitution, they differ also one from another concerning the common distinction of good and evil. Nor is there such thing as agathon haplos, that is to say, simply good...'
Elements of Law, Thomas Hobbes (ed. Molesworth, 1839-45).我们就像功利主义者一样相爱，在卧室里，我们是霍布斯和边沁的追随者，而没有按照柏拉图和康德的指导生活。我们做出的道德评判是建立在偏好的基础上，而不是从超验论的价值观出发，就如霍布斯在他的《法律要旨》中所说的那样：
“人人都把那些给他带来快乐使他愉悦的事物称之为善；令他不高兴的事物称之为恶。人人都处于不同的境况，于是对善与恶和区分也将不同。没有什么事物是恶的了，就是说，只剩下善……”
13. I had called Chloe evil because she 'displeasethed' me, not because she was in herself inherently evil. My value system was a justification of a situation rather than an explanation of Chloe's offence according to an absolute standard. I had made the classic moralist's error, traced so succinctly by Nietzsche: 我认为克洛艾负有罪恶，是因为她让我悲伤不已，而不是她天生就是罪恶的。我的价值体系是对一种情形的辩护，而不是根据一个绝对的标准对克洛艾的过错给予和一个解释。我犯了传统道德家的错误，尼采非常简明地探讨过这个问题：
First of all, one calls individual actions good or bad quite irrespective of their motives but solely on account of their useful or harmful consequences. Soon, however, one forgets the origin of these designations and believes that the quality good and evil is inherent in the actions themselves, irrespective of their consequences...*
* Human, all too Human, Friedrich Nietzsche (University of Nebraska Press, 1986).“首先，我们把个人的行为称为好或坏，不是看其行为的动机，而是仅仅考虑行为的结果是有用还是有害。然而，人们很快就忘记为些名称的缘由，认为善与恶的本质天然地存在于行为的自身，不用看其行为的结果……”
What gave me pleasure and pain determined the moral labels I chose to affix to Chloe. I was an egocentric moralizer, judging the world and her duties within it according to my own interests. My moral code was a mere sublimation of my desires.什么给我快乐，什么给我痛苦，决定我给克洛艾贴上什么样的首先标签——我是个人主义的道德说教者，根据自己的利益来判断世界与她的责任。如果说我曾经有过道德准则，那么实验室也仅是我个人欲望的升华，是一个不切实际的错误。
14.At the summit of self-righteous despair, I asked, 'Is it not my right to be loved and her duty to love me?' Chloe's love was indispensable, her presence in the bed beside me as important as freedom or the right to life. If the government assured me these two, why could it not assure me the right to love? Why did it place such an emphasis on the right to life and free speech when I didn't give a damn about either, without someone to lend that life meaning? What use was it to live if it was without love and without being heard? What was freedom if it meant the freedom to be abandoned? 在极度自以为是的绝望的巅峰，我发出质问：“难道被爱不是我的权利，爱我不是她的责任？”克洛艾的爱于我不可或缺，她睡在床上，躺在我身边，就如同自由或生活的权利一样重要。如果政府可以保证我这两项权利，为什么不保证我得到爱情的权利？在我对言论的自由或生活的权利都毫不在乎的时候，为什么政府如此强调它们，同时又没有人给予我生活的意义？如果没有爱情，没有人倾听我的心声，活着又有什么价值？如果自由就是遭人抛弃的自由，那么自由又有什么意义？
15. But how could one possibly extend the language of rights to love, to force people to love out of duty? Was this not simply another manifestation of romantic terrorism, of romantic fascism? Morality must have its boundaries. It is the stuff of High Courts, not of salty midnight tears and the heart-wrenching separations of well-fed, well-housed, over-read sentimentalists. I had only ever loved selfishly, spontaneously, like a utilitarian. And if utilitarianism states an action is right only when it produces the greatest happiness for the greatest number, then the pain now involved both in loving Chloe and hers in being loved was the surest sign that our relationship had not simply grown amoral, but immoral.但是，一个人自私能把权利的话语延伸到爱，强迫人们出于责任去爱？这难道不是爱情恐怖主义的又一种表现？难道不是爱情宿命论的又一个显像？道德规范必须有自己的界限。这是高等法院讨论的内容，与午夜咸咸的泪水，与吃得好、住得好、阅读得多、过多多愁善感者心碎的分手无关。我曾经像个功利主义者一样，发自内心地、自私地爱过。如果功利主义认为，一个行为只有当它为最大多数人带来最大的幸福时，才是正确的行为，那么现在爱克洛艾的痛苦和克洛艾被爱的痛苦则明确无疑地标志着我们的关系不仅无从区分是非，而且不符合道德标准。
16. It was unfortunate that anger could not be wedded to blame. Pain mobilized me to seek an offender, but responsibility could not be pinned on Chloe. I learnt that humans stood in a relation of negative liberty towards one another, duty-bound not to hurt others, but certainly not forced to love one another if they did not wish. A primitive belief made me feel that my anger entitled me to blame someone else, but I recognized that blame can only be linked to choice. One does not get angry with a donkey for not being able to sing, for the donkey's constitution never gave it a chance to do anything but snort. Similarly, one cannot blame a lover for loving or not loving, for it is a matter beyond their choice and hence responsibility - though what makes rejection in love harder to bear than donkeys who can never sing is that one did once see the lover loving. One finds it easier not to blame the donkey for not singing because it never sang, but the lover loved, perhaps only a short while ago, which makes the reality of the claim I cannot love you any more all the harder to digest.不幸的是，怒气不能与谴责连接在一起。痛苦鼓动我去寻找一个冒犯者，但是责任不能落在克洛艾身上。我知道人与人之间有互相拒绝的自由，负有不伤害对方的责任，但是如果他们不愿意，那么就没有人可以强迫他们去爱。一种原始的、非悲剧的信念使我感到自己的怒火赋予我责备他人的权利，但是我知道责备应该有所选择。不能为驴子不会唱歌而发火，因为驴子的生理结构只允许它呼哧呼哧地喘气。同样，一个人不能为爱或不爱而指责心上人，因为这超出了他们的选择范围，从而超出了他们的责任——虽然曾经看到对方确实爱过自己，使得被爱拒绝相对于驴子不能唱歌更让人难受。我们会觉得不去责备驴子不会唱歌更容易办到，因为驴子本来就不会唱歌；但是心上人却曾经爱过，也许就在不久之前，这使我无法再爱你的表白让人更难以接受。
17. The arrogance of wanting to be loved had emerged only now it was unreciprocated -- I was left alone with my desire, defenceless, beyond the law, shockingly crude in my demands: Love me! And for what reason? I had only the usual paltry, insufficient excuse: Because I love you...当爱不再得到回应时，要求被爱的蛮横出现了——我孤独地与欲望相伴，毫无防卫，缺少权利，远离法规，我的要求直露得令人吃惊：爱我吧！为什么？我只有一个微不足道的理由：因为我爱你……