Words
1 . coast
What this kind of comperative information doesn't tell you is that perhaps Johnny is going on all eight cylinders while Caroline is coasting on four of her eight.
to be successful at something without much effort:
例：They scored three goals in the first half and from then on United were coasting.
2.cylindr[ˈsɪlɪndər]
working / firing on all 'cylinders
•(informal) using all your energy to do sth; working as well as possible
• 竭尽全力；尽力干好；开足马力
3.apply yourself
You've got the ability, but you just don't apply yourself.
to work very hard on something for a long time.
例：You need to prove to an employer that you can apply yourself.
造句：You need to apply yourself to read this book
4.welfare
I'm only interested in your welfare.
someone’s welfare is their health and happiness:
例：Our only concern is the children’s welfare.
造句：Comparing one's wealth with his welfare, the latter is more important.
5.square
If your private performance doesn't square with your public performance, it's very hard for me to open up with me.
square (something) with something if you square two ideas, statements etc with each other or if they square with each other, they are considered to be in agreement:
例：His story simply does not square with the facts.
造句：I‘ll take the day off, if I can square with my boss.
Summary
We had read the parts about private victory which precedes the public victory. This week, we begin to learn the public victory.
An effective interdependence is based on how to build good relationship with others. To achieve this, we can try create an emotional bank that describes the trust between people. This bank includes six major deposits, understanding the individual, attending the little things, keeping commitments, clarifying expectations, showing personal integrity and apologizing sincerely when you make a withdrawal.
Habit 4: Think Win/Win
Six paradigms of human interactions are win/win, win/lose, lose/win, lose/lose, win, and win/win or no deal. Of the previous five paradigm, which option is best? Well, it depends on the situation, but most of the time, win/win, the one that seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions, wins. Besides, if individual had not come up with a solution agreed on both, they can choose a solution to go for compromise, the one called win/win no deal.
Think win/win is the habit of interpersonal leadership. It is fundamental to success in all our interactions, and it embraces five interdependent dimensions of life. Those are character, relationships, agreements, system and process.
Habit 5: Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
To understand first can inspire trust and openess, and this can be achieved by empathic listening. We should constantly remind ourselves to be patient, as we usually intend to reply in autographical responses. After that, we can seek to be understood. The three words contain the essence of making effective presentation are your character, your relationship and then the logic of your presentation.Habit 5 is an inside-out approach that is in the circle of your influence.
感想
Habit4 和 Habit5 都告诉我们与对方有效沟通或建立良好的关系都必须建立在互相理解的基础上。就算是habit4 的共赢也是需要双方都很清楚各自的目的才有可能实现。
但是在平常的沟通中，我们总是疏于倾听，急着想表达自己的观点，所以才有那么多孩子和家长间有代沟，因为家长总觉得自己的所有观点都是对的，而没有了解孩子真正的需要和发现孩子真正在遭受的困难。
除了倾听，我们还要学会表达自己，如果你自己的想法都没办法表达清楚，对方怎么能相信你的想法。我自己也是那种喜欢用lose／win方式的人，觉得多一事不如少一事，所以大多数情况下我是想听他人的观点，就算我的观点与他不一样也会尽可能说服自己不要开口。其实这不仅是一种偷懒，不愿意思考；也是一种无效的沟通，因为我的内心根本没有同意对方的想法。一个好的presentation不仅仅是需要有严密的逻辑性，其实还是在考验你的character，能不能让他人对你产生信任，从而建立relationship。这样看来演讲真的是一项考验综合实力的技能。