Today, I sighed for the the Challenge of writing at least one hundred words a day.
I hope the Challenge can help me keep the habit of writing every day.
One hundred words is not a large sum. The problem is that I often forget to write.
Haven't written for about two weeks, during which I wrote two passages one is over a thousand words and the other is over three thousand six hundred words.
The longer one was written for a solicit articles for the theme “Only because I am a girl”.
I have received the email informimg that the article will be published. But I haven't known how much money I will get from it.
The shorter one was written in a hurry. It was the comment about a news.
After I finished it, I didn't know where I should sent it. So I sent it to Yulin Daily. I
I haven't known yet whether it was adopted.
This year, I have sent three articles to Yulin Daily. Only the first one was adopted. They don't inform whether to adopt the article.
I knew my article was adopted when they sent the money to me about a month later.
I only got the money once by now.
I doubt if I sent the later two by the right email address, because there are two email addresses and I am not sure the one I used was right.
I decide to sent the article twice by the two email addresses next time.
I planed to write at least ten articles by the end of this year.
I have written six by now. The words are over fifteen thousand in total.
Writing is hard work, especially when I am taking care of my baby.
What is worse, I will go back to work in about two weeks.
I should write at least two articles before I go to work.
My baby cried a lot last night. Her dad slept sound.
I took care of the baby alone, tiredly and despairly.
My baby was not well yesterday and I was myself, either.
She cried a lot, so I had to spend more time and energy taking care of her.
I felt a sense of suppression in the chest / choking sensation in chest(胸闷). And I felt my heart didn't beat in the normal way.
I guessed maybe there was something wrong with my heart.
I think maybe that the result of tiredness.
I haven't slept well for several nights.
Yesterday, he was very busy and spent little time at home.
He didn't help me take care of my baby.
So I had to take care of the sick baby myself with the my sickness.
I understood at that time why some despaired mom would jumped down from the high building to suicide–- the despair and helplessness near drove me crazy!
He said if the policy allowed, he wanted to have a third child.
As for him, the children are the more the better.
To him, they are just like pets. He spent little time on them when he wants to.
He has never experienced the tired, despaired and anxious feelings.
So he wants to have more children.
But I don't! I don't want to experience such helplessness and despair any more.
I have sacrificed too much for the second baby.
Becides, our income is not enough for a third child.