When I See You Again /1

Time is like some chronic psychedelic that makes everything forgettable and forgivable. I don't know if it turns life less painful or less meaningful. Well, it just goes on and on whatsoever till the irony of life smashes our proud and we start to get the weight of the time that's long gone.

People call it growing up. How nostalgic.

I don't even remember when I last met her. I guess there's always something that you purposely don't want to recall. Rachel falls right into that category. In my ever fading memory about her, she has always been there smiling quietly with a bit cheekiness that was so tempting yet untouchable. It all felt like some adolescent fantasy to me. But she was just beautiful and somewhat out of my league. I loved her.

It was late November 2007. Springs had never been too long in Melbourne till every Southerners couldn't wait but eagerly showed their love for hotter weather. It was like some fetish that I could never figure out. I hated the summer though for no specific reasons. Probably I still needed a bit more time to adapt everything reversed and foreign back then, or simply because I was just a poor outsider who hated everything everyone loved.

I came to this country in the name of better education, but I had no mood for studying at all. I had no mood for anything at all. Vindictively taking off the control and indulgence of my parents, I made a decision to live in the 'Land of Oz' all by myself for the first time. I made the decision even before I knew what life meant to me. That was thrillingly awesome. Being young and naïve - as what old folks always scorns, all I wanted every minute down there was to make money and make love. I tried my best to be unrealistically true to myself and I was like a blind horny dog sniffing for no string attached sexes trying to find the meaning of everything, anything. And this is when Rachel came into my life.

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In the age before any convenient dating apps were invented, booty calls were made in old fashioned ways. We used something call 'BBS'.

Her profile caught my attention instantly. I knew everyone lingering up there was as lonely and horny as I was, but she was something different. She had an unspeakable 'girlfriend quality', which might not be so convenient for hook-ups. You know, no one wanted to get into trouble and sometimes good girls could be big troubles. Yet I left her a message anyway. 'Why not?' I told myself.

She replied surprisingly promptly. And with a few chats online we decided the meet up the same day somewhere around her place. I didn't mind travelling at all. Everything indicted we were going to do it that night. And all I wanted were her naked warm body. And I knew she wanted me as well. 'Such an easy-going girl with open mind.' I chuckled to myself with all kinds of curiosities.

I arrived early. It was an interchange train station with fast moving crowds. Her absence made me a bit uneasy. We didn't exchange phone numbers or anything tying to make our first hookup more spontaneous and mysterious. But I never liked the feeling of losing control. How bold and idiotic and lucky (or unlucky) I was!

Ten minutes passed and I started to wonder if she'd chickened out or it had been a joke all along. Just when I hesitated whether to go back, a tall girl came into the waiting hall and went straight towards me. But she was not Rachel.

'Hey, sorry I'm late.' She said slowly trying her best to hide the quick and short breaths. She looked at me right into my eyes with that signature smile on her face. I dodged her stares subconsciously. I'd always been somewhat shy type. And girls seemed buy it quite well.

'And you are...?' I started to get protective.

'Rachel. Yeah, that was a fake profile.' She said it like it was so rightful. 'Wanna go to my place?'

Wow, she's no time waster at all. 'Hell yeah!' I followed her on the way out pondering if I could get the upper hand later. Today I know I could never win her and it had never been a competition.

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