奥巴马55岁高龄失业，扣扣熊模拟面试助其再就业

众所周知，55岁的奥巴马很快就要失业了。在这样一个年龄，想找一份新工作确实不容易。

热心的扣扣熊（Stephen Colbert）打算帮助他，于是对他进行了一场模拟面试。

奥巴马的简历“一无是处”，各种笑点各种梗，来看视频。

点击图片查看视频

精彩段子集合

Stephen:

I do not see any promotions for the last eight years. That’s not always good. Can you explain that?
我发现你过去八年没有任何职位提升，这样可不好，你能解释一下么？

Obama:

Honestly, there wasn't a lot of room for advancement in my last job.
坦白说，我的上一份工作没什么升职空间。

The only one with a more powerful position was my wife.
唯一更高的职位是我老婆在做。

▼

Stephen:

Okay, little tip. When you say staying at your job would be unconstitutional, what employers hear is that you stole office supplies.
好吧，小建议。当你说，继续留在自己的职位是违宪的时候，雇主们理解的是，你偷了办公用品。

▼

Stephen:

And does not say here. Where are you born?
简历里没有提到。你在哪里出生？

▼

Stephen:

Do you have any awards or commendations?
你有得过什么奖励或者奖状么？

Obama:

Well, I have almost 30 honorary degrees, and I did get the Nobel Peace Prize.
我有近30个荣誉学位，而且我得过诺贝尔和平奖。

Stephen:

Oh really? What was that for?
真的么？是因为什么？

Obama:

To be honest, I still don't know.
坦白说，我到现在都不知道。

▼

Stephen:

Social media, very hot, do you have any experience with that? Like twitter?
社交媒体，很流行，你有相关经验么，比如推特。

Obama:

I have 77 million followers. Does that count?
我有7千7百万推特粉丝，这个算么？

Stephen:

That’s very impressive. How did you get so many?
非常惊人，你怎么会有这么多粉丝？

Obama:

Executive order, and photos of cats.
行政命令，还有发喵星人的照片。

▼

Stephen:

I would like to ask you about your choice of snacks.
我想问你关于零食的选择。

I have two choices for you here. Would you care for an extra fiber nutrient bar, which has traveled to more than 100 countries.
我为你提供了两个选择。你想要多来一份纤维能量棒，它已经到过超过一百个国家。（喻指希拉里在担任国务卿期间出访过100多个国家。）

Or this shriveled tangerine, covered in golden retriever hair, filled with bile that I wouldn't leave alone with the woman I love?

还是要金毛猎犬毛覆盖的干橘子（喻指川普的发型），充满了酸水，我是不会让它和我的爱人单独在一起的。（黑川普侮辱女性录音曝光）

Obama:

Well, I think I'll go with the fiber nutrient bar.

好吧，我选能量棒。

奥巴马卸任后到底要干什么呢，还真是好奇。

编辑：左卓

实习编辑：赵倩

中国日报网双语新闻

（ID:chinadaily_mobile）

为您的英语保鲜

长按可关注本微信号