2018-03-01

Diary

Thursday, March 1st.

I was alone in dorm and woke up very early this morning. As I put on clothes and got ready to leave my dorm, a message was received from my Chinese friend and it said that every day is a beautiful day. Yes, every day must be a beautiful day, though for me the ability of seeing things truly has been lost for a while.

As I walked  towards Jokang, the sun of happiness has started to shine in my heart. Because I haven’t felt this atmosphere for a long long time. This is a part of Tibet plateau averaging over 4000 metres above sea level . Yes. This means I am a child who comes from high land and who should live here like a wild yak, respecting my own nature and character. The sky here is extremely blue and the people here are heavenly pure. But of course this is not the only reason that I like here. I have been wandering everywhere in Qinghai this winter, the tradition and the ideas of people is quite strong there, but the fact is that it seems that you are always in a box and in that realm you can act according to the code of your community’s thoughts and ideas.  Yet life was not felt at all.

  Before getting to Jokang, I went some stores to buy some earrings. This is what I do every time I go this place. I do not really lack earnings, but collecting something beautiful and cheap has its own meaning for me .

People around Jokang has different aims and destinations. Some are here for praying, some are here for doing business, and some are here for feeling this special and holy atmosphere. But it seems that they can commonly feel something nice here.

Sitting in front of Buddha, I really revealed all my heat to this universe. Different things have been experienced and felt, no matter negative or positive things, no matter sadness or happiness, no matter superficially or deeply. But all the fact is you can get no where without the light which makes you alive. I do not know wether it is your own heart or something outside. But without that you cannot live, of course you can exist, live and existence is different. But to live means really something.

I pray that let those people who are seeking and who wants to live see some indications through their difficult and despairing situation,even sometimes or a few times.

Coming back from Jokang, I started to write to my teacher Brenda.

Yes, it has been a beautiful day.