Fear

Usually I will comment myself have good study ability and improving from mistakes.  However I behaved stupidly when in a relationship. As if every pattern I learned and every book I read are all gone. Is it inexperience? Is it lack of emotional intelligence? Is there empty in my mind? Yesterday I suddenly review myself and found that I was probably just timid.

        我经常评价自己学习能力还算不错，能够很好的从错误中吸取经验，不断进步。可是不知为何在感情中一直不够聪明，仿佛读到、学到的“套路”都化为云烟。是经验不足吗？是情商不够吗？是肚子里没有货吗？昨天突然重新审视了自己，发现，我可能只是胆小吧。

I treasured my staffs that I use from time to time. They are still bright as new even if has been used for several years. Like my phones, laptops, computers, headsets, pens, etc., are all very well preserved. The only reason you can think of, besides being careful when using it, is to be afraid. The fear of damaging  it, of destroying it, of losing it(reminds me of the story of the TV remote control wrapped in plastic paper), of not make the best use of everything.

        翻看我经常使用的东西，你会发现我非常的爱惜他们，即使已经用了好几年了，仍然亮丽如新，手机、笔记本、电脑、耳机、钢笔等等，都很完好。能想到的原因除了使用的时候很仔细外，剩下的就是害怕了吧。害怕损坏它，破坏它，进而害怕失去它（让我想到了用塑料纸包裹的电视机遥控器的故事），物未尽其用。

Too scared to everything, that’s what comment to my self. What’s the result then? Fear, insecurity, clinginess, and caring too much, all of these limit their true value. It’s all clear in the relationship, lack of security, sticky, hot face stick cold bottom, there are worse that can’t be told. Some said it likes break a fly upon a wheel. And it become impossible to say whether a girl’s taste is the issue, if you didn’t behave as yourself.

        太胆小，我现在给自己就是这样的评价。导致的行为是什么？畏首畏尾、缺乏安全感、太粘人，太过在意之后反而限制了自己的价值发挥。换成在感情中就很能说明一切了，缺乏安全感、粘人、热脸贴冷屁股，不堪的就不说了。有些解释是说，对象没找对，力气花的不在位置。也有可能，但如果我已表现的不像自己，就也无从判断是否对方口味的问题了吧。

There is a line in the movie said “ Patience is  the courage！”. That’s true, patience is courage. Stir-fired dishes will be out of pot ahead of time for fear of being burnt, either not hot enough or undercooked. Stock market is another good example, calm down, hold back for a while, may be through clouds to see the sun. Simple trust each other is a easy way to manage a relationship. The seed sown also would succeed every time. Get into a good mood, be mature to face the difficulties, and learn to say goodbye quietly, instead of the drastic friend removement or get drunk.

        记得在一部电影中看到一句台词说：“Patience is  the courage！”。没错，耐心就是勇气。怎么解释？炒菜会怕烧焦就提前出锅，不是火候不够就是半生不熟。炒股更是很好的例子，沉住气，憋一阵，可能拨云见日。感情呢？很简单，就是要相信对方！种子播下去也有不长苗的，心态放好，真的喜欢就不要在乎那一点点。然后呢，都成熟了，学会默默的告别，而不是轰轰烈烈的删好友再大醉一场。