Time flies. Here comes Valentine's Day, March 8 International Working Women's Day... No, March 7 Girls day. It's time for your boyfriend to buy some gifts for you!
What? No boyfriend? Buy it yourself! As a woman, you have to treat yourself well. If you don’t spend money, then you are wasting your life. How can you be happy if you don’t go shopping?
First, let us buy an iPhone X; get a front row ticket for the Bigbang concert; full set of Tom Ford and YSL lipsticks; and two bottles of the “fairy water”.
All women deserve a Prada's bag.
Don’t have enough money? Simple. China has been reforming and opening up for decades, don’t you have credit cards or Alipay Pay? The credit card limit is too low? You’ve come to the right place! Today I will teach you how to enjoy life!
You see, the high-end platform Zhihu already made an example:
“It is not you cannot afford famous brand, it is because you don’t know the right way to buy it. Try installment!”
First of all, we can use “Interesting shops”, “Excellent installment”, “Happy installment”, “Paipai loans” etc., let us pay by installments.
Let me kindly remind you that if you cannot repay the loan in a year or so, the company might give you a couple friendly calls, saying that if you do not repay it, they will tell your school, company, relatives, and friends about your loan and also put you on the credit blacklist, which means you cannot buy cars or apartments or even plane tickets.
Oh girl, don't be afraid. Cannot repay is not a big deal, you just have to make sure that you don’t tell your family about this. Otherwise, you are just troubling your family and friends, and they will scold you. I have another suggestion. We can rob Peter to pay Paul. There are so many loan platforms, let us try a little of everything. Then we can repay the loan, problem solved!
If you cannot repay these loans in a couple month later, not to worry. These companies are decent companies, they won’t come in person to ask for money. However, they will probably sell your bad debts to those small companies. Then, they may go online to buy your information to harass your classmates and family members. Or they may come to your door saying that they will cut your hands off tomorrow if you don’t pay the money back.
Are you afraid now? Don’t! These people are still very considerate. This time they will point you a clear path, you can try the “compensated dating”. Oh, you don't want to? Then you can just leave them a nude picture. They can give you one month grace.
Note: Ten nude pictures (three upper body's, three lower body's, taking with your ID).
Come on. It is just a picture, please don't cry. When the next repayment day is coming, just give them a video. The next repayment day? You just have to sleep with someone for one night. Oh, of course, they need to video record it. From now on, the platform will serve as a procuress. You can deduct 200 RMB from you loan for one night. Of course, you are from a famous university, your one night probably worth 1000 RMB. The rest 800 RMB will be the introduction fee. You don’t want to do this? You are hilarious! If you do not pay the money back, the platform will send your nude photos to your friends, colleagues and your family. Oh, I almost forgot, the platform will also have the right to use your photos, videos, and information (e.g. address, name, phone numbers). They may sell these to porn websites. This can help you attract customers.
Aren’t I so nice? One more suggestion… make sure you look good in your nude photos. Photoshop is very important! I can provide this service if you need, 100 RMB per photo. This can help you find more customers, then you can pay the money back faster.
There are probably 30 GB of these photos on the internet. Are you afraid of being exposed? Don’t worry, these are just the tip of the iceberg. They are exposed probably because they have no more surplus value to exploit, or, some of them are simply too ugly. Why do I say some of them? Because usually, companies do not lend money to ugly girls. Look at these photos! Feeling a little scared now? Well, then go and do your job and pay the money back!
Some people say that you are too stupid. Please don’t get me wrong, I do not mean this at all. Now that you have your bags and cosmetics, you should be happy. You are a life winner. You own stuff which others cannot afford. You are using the same cosmetics as your favorite celebrity.
What I really mean is, let some people get rich first, and then try to make other people stupid. After that, propagandize it is the fools who hinder the advance of the human being. Then encourage fools fighting fools. In the end, eliminate fools and achieve common prosperity.
Well… there is no need to engage in such a complex. I’ve told you a thousand times: you should study hard, go to a top university, find a rich sugar daddy. Then you can buy new iPhone X every month.
Thus, to the kids, even if your dream is to find a sugar daddy, you should study hard, go to a better university, find a richer sugar daddy and explore a bigger world.
Bigger than Bigger.
Finally, it is time to learn the government report:
As China's economic development has entered a new normal, industrial production and other fields are facing a relatively serious overcapacity. The task of restructuring and upgrading the supply structure is very arduous. To this end, it is necessary to actively bring the leading role of new consumption into play. Speeding up the cultivation of new supply, so as to promote the solution of the contradiction between supply and demand at a higher level. Adding new impetus to the economic and social development.