Not Giving a Fuck - CH2

一. 问答

1. Why "happiness is a problem"?

Because happiness always has some premises. Whatever people have, it never seemed enough, never meant anything. 

2. Why the author invented "Disappointment Panda"? What is it for?

Because all of us would need it to make our lives better despite making us feel worse. It would tell us the greatest truths, which are usually the most unpleasant to hear.

3. What is the role that emotions play in our life? Why they are overrated?

Emotions are evolved to help us live and reproduce a little bit better. Emotions are part of the equation of our lives, but not the entire equation. People overrate the role of emotions, because everything is justified for no other reason than they felt it.

4. Why you don't have chiseled abs? (If you do have, how did you make it?)

Because I don't make effort for it at all. For example, I never work out at a gym and observe my diet. The essential reason is, I didn't actually want it.


二. 感想

在读第二章的过程中,让我产生共鸣的地方数不胜数。不过我还是选择其一来结合自己写一写吧。

作者再三强调:

Problems are a constant in life. Happiness comes from solving problems.

True happiness occurs only when you find the problems you enjoy having and enjoy solving.

Whatever your problems are, the concept is the same: solve problems; be happy.

过日子本就是就是问题叠着问题,而幸福和快乐的感觉则来自于解决问题所带来的成就感。当我们不再惧怕或逃避问题的时候,享受坦然面对的勇气和解决问题的过程,幸福和快乐也就随之而来了。

道理说起来非常简单易懂。可恐惧问题和麻烦,却是人之常情。分享两个我在工作的不同阶段遇到的故事吧。

刚工作的时候,我在挺长的一段时间里都处在“怕事儿”的状态中无法自拔。每天都在担心项目里出现突发状况,害怕自己的解决方案出现纰漏等等。可事情一点儿也没因为我的惧怕而变少。同事在前方(杭州)实施,我在后方(北京)随时根据现场情况的变化来调整设计方案。那段时间,我觉得自己每天都像一个“工兵”一样,不断排雷,焦头烂额。

好不容易熬到项目快要竣工了,负责施工的同事们都纷纷撤了回来。我带着竣工报告、怀揣着一颗大事已成的心,去现场接受检验。这时,客户却要求再调整一部分方案,以便更好地满足他们的使用需求。

到那一刻我才真正意识到,以前在空调屋里动动鼠标改改图纸是多么轻松的一件事情!这次我却不得不充当着工头,一边改图纸,确保满足客户的使用需求,一边跟焊线工人沟通,把新方案实施下去。

那几天过后,我除了尽情享受着解决问题所带来的极大成就感,好像一下子就克服了“怕事儿”的心态。因为,担惊受怕根本解决不了问题。当问题真的来了,也只有迎难而上。

People deny and blame others for their problems for the simple reason that it‘s easy and feels good, while solving problems is hard and often feels bad.

“当问题很难解决并且感觉很糟的时候,拒绝承认是自己的错,并将其顺势怪罪于别人,的确是一个更容易让自己好受些的有效办法。”如果我再早一点儿想明白这件事,前段时间的“痛苦”应该会大大减少吧。

作为技术支持,客户遇到疑难问题,第一时间帮其解决是我的职责所在。可前段时间,我真是怕极了接到他的电话。很多时候,都是火上房的态势,问题出现了,他的世界也随之崩塌。总是“什么不正常也没有做”,就是出现了各种怪问题。穿插着复述问题现象,总有各种抱怨和责怪,有时还上纲上线,要找领导反映问题,要求更换设备……

我足足适应了有一段时间,才比较能漠视这些负面的东西。让自己尽快冷静下来,尽快准确的找到破解问题的关键。换位思考,如果我着急干活,设备出现了一些状况,不管原因何在,我也会很烦躁、很焦虑。

理解了他的处境,我觉得需要把情绪和工作分开处理。为什么要在意他的态度?为什么非要他说好话我才有成就感呢?问题最终得到解决,或者即使问题暂时解决不了,我搞清楚了现象,记录了问题所在并反映给可以试图解决的渠道,这都是有效的解决之道。

而且,帮助客户解决问题也能让我的技术变得越来越好,经验越来越丰富。比起这些,听两句抱怨又算什么呢?

But the longer we avoid and the longer we numb, the more painful it will be when we finally do confront our issues.

所以,不管面对什么问题,都别怕、别逃避,想方设法去解决。因为即使当下逃了,总有一天这个问题还会卷土重来,变本加厉。


三. 字词

1. not all that it was cracked up to be

(1) 原文:The prince began to notice that this life of suffering wasn't all that it was cracked up to be.

(2) 解释:没有预想的好

(3) 造句:I was so nervous in the speech that the result wasn't all that it was cracked up to be.

2. be wired to do = tend to do

(1) 原文:We are wired to become dissatisfied with whatever we have and satisfied by only what we do not have.

(2) 解释:倾向于

(3) 造句:In our culture we are wired to be bashful about our talents and skills.

3. go so far as to do

(1) 原文:Or maybe you even go so far as to question your entire interior design philosophy based on your throbbing foot.

(2) 解释:至于,竟然

(3) 造句:He wouldn't go so far as to be angry with me, because I'm just kidding.

4. sneak out 

(1) 原文:So late one night, the prince snuck out of the palace to see what was beyond its walls

(2) 解释:偷偷溜出

(3) 造句:The thief stole the money and snuck out of the house.

5. never-ending

(1) 原文:A fixation on happiness inevitably amounts to a never-ending pursuit of "something else".

(2) 解释:无止境的

(3) 造句:Becoming a recording guru is my never-ending pursuit.

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