sitting on the stool

I observe the scene in the house: half opened door , bamboo and grass bead door curtains,a space for myself on this sixth floor， free from interruptions from upstairs no more. Although there could be nuisances from neighbors like brick work or furniture installations. Other than that， everything seems fine . However， I am still restless because employment has always or at least constant ly been a concern for me. In and out of different units and companies, I am still struggling on the breadline. Both sickness and poverty has found me ，so I have to deal with the miserable life and feel sad about my helplessness and kindness. Why didn't I do better in my former life? I have to create everything from scratch in this world.  Gradually， it dawns on me that Power and wealth are so important in the world if one wants to feel good and comfortable，which takes so many decades.( How foolishand ignorant I am！ ) Otherwise，one has to come to terms with whatever comes by. on the grass roots level， one can truly find out how people behave. it's a jungle. I am not sure that everyone is a human being in the real sense.  There can be barbarians and beasts, which is meant to exist in the wild. Tough luck.

Yeah ，happy birthday middle aged man.