Ⅳ 群鸦的盛宴 Chapter5 山姆威尔
SAMWELL
山姆读着关于异鬼的书，抬眼看到了那只老鼠。
Sam was reading about the Others when he saw the mouse.
他的眼睛又红又肿。我不该揉得那么频繁，他总是一边揉一边告诉自己。灰尘弄得眼睛痒痒的，直想流泪，这地下到处都是灰尘。每次翻动书页，一小簇尘埃就会飘散到空中，而每当他移开一堆书，想看看下面藏着什么时，总会弄出一团灰云。
His eyes were red and raw. I ought not rub them so much, he always told himself as he rubbed them. The dust made them itch and water, and the dust was everywhere down here. Little puffs of it filled the air every time a page was turned, and it rose in grey clouds whenever he shifted a stack of books to see what might be hiding on the bottom.
山姆不知道自己有多久没睡了，起初，他发现一捆破破烂烂的散页，便解开细绳，点燃蜡烛阅读，结果一发不可收拾，到如今那支很粗壮的牛油蜡烛只剩下不到一寸。他累极了，却无法停止。再看一本我就停下，他告诉自己，再看一页，一页而已。再看一页我就上去休息，吃点东西。但一页过后总有另一页，另一页过后又有新的一页，而书堆底下还有另一本书在等着。我只瞧一眼，看看这本书讲什么，他心想，然而等回过神来，已经读了一半。自打跟派普和葛兰一起喝过培根豌豆汤之后，他就没吃东西。噢，不，吃了面包与奶酪，但只有一点点，他边想边略略瞥了瞥空盘子，发现那只老鼠正在享用面包屑。
Sam did not know how long it had been since last he’d slept, but scarce an inch remained of the fat tallow candle he’d lit when starting on the ragged bundle of loose pages that he’d found tied up in twine. He was beastly tired, but it was hard to stop. One more book, he had told himself, then I’ll stop. One more folio, just one more. One more page, then I’ll go up and rest and get a bite to eat. But there was always another page after that one, and another after that, and another book waiting underneath the pile. I’ll just take a quick peek to see what this one is about, he’d think, and before he knew he would be halfway through it. He had not eaten since that bowl of bean-and-bacon soup with Pyp and Grenn. Well, except for the bread and cheese, but that was only a nibble, he thought. That was when he took a quick glance at the empty platter, and spied the mouse feasting on the bread crumbs.
老鼠有他粉红色的手指头一半那么长，黑眼睛，软灰毛。山姆知道自己应该杀死它。老鼠偏爱面包奶酪，但它们也啃嚼纸张。他曾在架子和书堆里发现大量老鼠屎，许多皮革封面呈现出咬啮的痕迹。
The mouse was half as long as his pinky finger, with black eyes and soft grey fur. Sam knew he ought to kill it. Mice might prefer bread and cheese, but they ate paper too. He had found plenty of mouse droppings amongst the shelves and stacks, and some of the leather covers on the books showed signs of being gnawed.
但它不过是一个饥饿的小东西，他怎能吝啬一点点面包屑呢？然而，它会吃书本……
It is such a little thing, though. And hungry. How could he begrudge it a few crumbs? It’s eating books, though …
坐椅子坐得太久，山姆的背僵硬如木板，腿则像睡着了一般。他知道自己动作不够快，逮不住老鼠，但也许可以砸死它。他肘边躺着一本皮革封面的巨型抄本，《黑色人马年鉴》，这本书中乔昆修士详尽叙述了奥勃特·卡斯威担任守夜人军团总司令的九年生活，每一页都对应着他任期的一天，基本上都如此开头，“奥勃特大人清晨起床如厕”——除了最后一页，那一页写道，“奥勃特大人被发现于夜间亡故。”
After hours in the chair Sam’s back was stiff as a board, and his legs were half-asleep. He knew he was not quick enough to catch the mouse, but it might be he could squash it. By his elbow rested a massive leather-bound copy of Annals of the Black Centaur, Septon Jorquen’s exhaustively detailed account of the nine years that Orbert Caswell had served as Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch. There was a page for each day of his term, every one of which seemed to begin, “Lord Orbert rose at dawn and moved his bowels,” except for the last, which said, “Lord Orbert was found to have died during the night.”
不能让老鼠毁了乔昆修士的辛苦成果。山姆的左手极其缓慢地伸向那本书。书又厚又重，他试图单手举起来，结果却从他肥胖的指间滑落，“砰”的一声砸下。老鼠转瞬间便逃窜得不见踪影。山姆松了口气。砸死这可怜的小东西会让他做噩梦的。“但你不该吃书。”他大声说。也许下次下来时，他该多带些奶酪。
No mouse is a match for Septon Jorquen. Very slowly, Sam took hold of the book with his left hand. It was thick and heavy, and when he tried to lift it one-handed, it slipped from his plump fingers and thumped back down. The mouse was gone in half a heartbeat, skittery-quick. Sam was relieved. Squishing the poor little thing would have given him nightmares. “You shouldn’t eat the books, though,” he said aloud. Maybe he should bring more cheese the next time he came down here.
他很惊讶蜡烛已快烧完了，不晓得喝培根豌豆汤是今天还是昨天的事？昨天。一定是昨天。意识到这点，他打了个哈欠。琼恩不会明白他的心情，但伊蒙师傅会帮他解释。学士失明之前，跟山姆威尔·塔利一样酷爱读书。他能明白，当你深陷入书本中时，仿佛每一页都是通往其他世界的通道。
He was surprised at how low the candle had burned. Had the bean-and-bacon soup been today or yesterday? Yesterday. It must have been yesterday. The realization made him yawn. Jon would be wondering what had become of him, though Maester Aemon would no doubt understand. Before he had lost his sight, the maester had loved books as much as Samwell Tarly did. He understood the way that you could sometimes fall right into them, as if each page was a hole into another world.
山姆艰难地站起来，露出痛苦的表情，小腿麻麻的，犹如针刺一般。他坐的椅子十分坚硬，当他弯腰去取书时，会压得腿部不舒服。我得记着带垫子。假如能睡在底下就更好了。他在四只装满零散书页（全部来自已经失传的著作）的箱子后面发现了一个半隐藏的地窖，这是个理想地点，但他不能撇下伊蒙师傅太久。学士最近身体不好，需要照料，此外还有乌鸦呢。伊蒙身边固然有克莱达斯，但山姆更年轻，鸟儿也更喜欢他。
Pushing himself to his feet, Sam grimaced at the pins and needles in his calves. The chair was very hard and cut into the back of his thighs when he bent over a book. I need to remember to bring a cushion. It would be even better if he could sleep down here, in the cell he’d found half-hidden behind four chests full of loose pages that had gotten separated from the books they belonged to, but he did not want to leave Maester Aemon alone for so long. He had not been strong of late and required help, especially with the ravens. Aemon had Clydas, to be sure, but Sam was younger, and better with the birds.
于是山姆左腋下夹着一堆书籍和卷轴，右手拿着蜡烛，穿过被弟兄们称为“虫道”的隧道，返回黑城堡。一束淡淡的光线照亮了通向地表的陡峭石阶，因而他知道上面已是白昼。他将蜡烛留在墙上的凹洞里，然后攀登。走到第五步，他喘起粗气；到了第十步，他停下来把书换到右腋下。
With a stack of books and scrolls under his left arm and the candle in his right hand, Sam made his way through the tunnels the brothers called the wormways. A pale shaft of light illuminated the steep stone steps that led up to the surface, so he knew that day had come up top. He left the candle burning in a wall niche and began the climb. By the fifth step he was puffing. At the tenth he stopped to shift the books to his right arm.
天空是铅白的颜色。看样子要下雪，山姆抬头斜睨，心里想。这让他感到不安。他记得先民拳峰上那个夜晚，记得伴随漫天大雪而来的尸鬼军团。不要随时随地都像个胆小鬼，他责怪自己，现在你周围有那么多誓言效命的兄弟，更不用说史坦尼斯·拜拉席恩和他的骑士们了。黑城堡的堡垒和塔楼在他面前耸立，但与硕大无朋的冰墙相比，显得渺小不堪。一支小队伍攀附于冰墙四分之一高处，正在修建一段新的之字形楼梯，并与旧梯子相连。锯子与铁锤的声响在冰面上回荡。琼恩让工匠们日夜赶工，山姆在晚餐时听见有人抱怨，说莫尔蒙大人决不会如此压榨劳力。然而要是没有梯子，除了绞盘铁笼，别无他法可以上长城，遇有情况会措手不及。虽然山姆威尔·塔利痛恨楼梯，但他更痛恨铁笼子，乘坐时，他总是闭起眼睛，相信链子马上就要断掉。每当铁笼擦刮冰面，他的心跳就会陡然停止。
He emerged beneath a sky the color of white lead. A snow sky, Sam thought, squinting up. The prospect made him uneasy. He remembered that night on the Fist of the First Men when the wights and the snows had come together. Don’t be so craven, he thought. You have your Sworn Brothers all around you, not to mention Stannis Baratheon and all his knights. Castle Black’s keeps and towers rose about him, dwarfed by the icy immensity of the Wall. A small army was crawling over the ice a quarter of the way up, where a new switchback stair was creeping upward to meet the remnants of the old one. The sounds of their saws and hammers echoed off the ice. Jon had the builders working night and day on the task. Sam had heard some of them complaining about it over supper, insisting that Lord Mormont never worked them half so hard. Without the great stair there was no way to reach the top of the Wall except by the chain winch, however. And as much as Samwell Tarly hated steps, he hated the winch cage more. He always closed his eyes when he was riding it, convinced that the chain was about to break. Every time the iron cage scraped against the ice his heart stopped beating for an instant.
两百年前此处有龙，看着笼子缓缓下降，山姆寻思，它们“嗖”地一下就能飞上城。亚莉珊王后骑着她的龙造访黑城堡，而她的王夫杰赫里斯稍后也骑着自己的龙赶来。银翼有没有留下龙蛋呢？史坦尼斯在龙石岛有没有发现别的蛋呢？不过，即使有蛋，又该如何孵化？受神祝福的贝勒对着他的蛋祈祷，坦格利安家族的其他人则寻求巫术的帮助，然而最终，他们只得到嘲笑和灾祸。
There were dragons here two hundred years ago, Sam found himself thinking, as he watched the cage making a slow descent. They would just have flown to the top of the Wall. Queen Alysanne had visited Castle Black on her dragon, and Jaehaerys, her king, had come after her on his own. Could Silverwing have left an egg behind? Or had Stannis found one egg on Dragonstone? Even if he has an egg, how can he hope to quicken it? Baelor the Blessed had prayed over his eggs, and other Targaryens had sought to hatch theirs with sorcery. All they got for it was farce and tragedy.
“山姆威尔，”一个阴沉的声音说，“我是来找你的。总司令大人吩咐我带你去见他。”
“Samwell,” said a glum voice, “I was coming to fetch you. I was told to bring you to the Lord Commander.”
一朵雪花飘落在山姆鼻尖上，“琼恩想见我？”
A snowflake landed on Sam’s nose. “Jon wants to see me?”
“这个嘛，我可说不准，”忧郁的艾迪·托勒特道，“我不想见的总是来找我，我想见的却老找不到，愿望和事实基本无瓜葛。但你还是快去吧，雪诺大人跟卡斯特的老婆谈完话就跟你谈。”
“As to that, I could not say,” said Dolorous Edd Tollett. “I never wanted to see half the things I’ve seen, and I’ve never seen half the things I wanted to. I don’t think wanting comes into it. You’d best go all the same. Lord Snow wishes to speak with you as soon as he is done with Craster’s wife.”
“吉莉？”
“Gilly.”
“是她。假如我奶妈能长得像她，那我现在还叼奶头呢。知道吗，我奶妈长胡子的。”
“That’s the one. If my wet nurse had looked like her, I’d still be on the teat. Mine had whiskers.”
“说明她是头山羊，”派普叫道，他跟葛兰从角落里冒出来，手拿长弓，背着箭囊。“你上哪儿去了，杀手？昨天晚餐时缺了你，一整只烤公牛没人吃。”
“Most goats do,” called Pyp, as he and Grenn emerged from around the corner, with longbows in hand and quivers of arrows on their backs. “Where have you been, Slayer? We missed you last night at supper. A whole roast ox went uneaten.”
“别叫我杀手。”山姆不理会公牛的玩笑。派普就是那样。“我在看书。有只老鼠……”
“Don’t call me Slayer.” Sam ignored the gibe about the ox. That was just Pyp. “I was reading. There was a mouse …”
“别跟葛兰提老鼠。他怕老鼠。”
“Don’t mention mice to Grenn. He’s terrified of mice.”
“我才不怕。”葛兰愤慨地说。
“I am not,” Grenn declared with indignation.
“但你不敢吃老鼠。”
“You’d be too scared to eat one.”
“我能吃的老鼠比你多。”
“I’d eat more mice than you would.”
忧郁的艾迪·托勒特叹了口气。“我小时候，只有在节庆日才吃得到老鼠。我排行老幺，所以总是吃尾巴。尾巴上没肉。”
Dolorous Edd Tollett gave a sigh. “When I was a lad, we only ate mice on special feast days. I was the youngest, so I always got the tail. There’s no meat on the tail.”
“你的长弓呢，山姆？”葛兰问。艾里沙爵士给他取了“笨牛”的外号，而他现在长得日益名副其实，真的像头牛。他来到长城时虽然高大，但行动迟缓笨拙，脸红脖子粗，腰也粗得像桶。如今虽然派普诱骗他出丑时，他的脖子仍然会红，但长期习武使得肚腩不见了，胳膊变得强硬，胸膛变得宽阔。他极为强壮，而且跟野牛一样毛发蓬松。“乌尔马在靶场等你。”
“Where's your longbow, Sam?” asked Grenn. Ser Alliser used to call him Aurochs, and every day he seemed to grow into the name a little more. He had come to the Wall big but slow, thick of neck, thick of waist, red of face, and clumsy. Though his neck still reddened when Pyp twisted him around into some folly, hours of work with sword and shield had flattened his belly, hardened his arms, broadened his chest. He was strong, and shaggy as an aurochs too. “Ulmer was expecting you at the butts.”
“乌尔马。”山姆窘迫地重复道。琼恩·雪诺当上总司令后做的第一件事，就是让所有弟兄每天操练箭术，即使事务官和厨师也不例外。他认为，从前的守夜人军团过于强调剑术，而不注重弓箭，在每十人就有一个是骑士的时代当然有道理，但在每一百人当中才有一个骑士的目前却显得不合时宜了。山姆支持这道命令，但他讨厌练习长弓几乎就跟讨厌爬楼梯一样。他戴上手套便射不中任何目标，脱掉手套指头就会起泡。弓箭是危险的东西。纱丁曾在弓弦上绷裂了半个拇指甲盖。“我忘了。”
“Ulmer,” Sam said, abashed. Almost the first thing Jon Snow had done as Lord Commander was institute daily archery drill for the entire garrison, even stewards and cooks. The Watch had been placing too much emphasis on the sword and too little on the bow, he had said, a relic of the days when one brother in every ten had been a knight, instead of one in every hundred. Sam saw the sense in the decree, but he hated longbow practice almost as much as he hated climbing steps. When he wore his gloves he could never hit anything, but when he took them off he got blisters on his fingers. Those bows were dangerous. Satin had torn off half his thumbnail on a bowstring. “I forgot.”
“忘了？你好伤野人公主的心啊，杀手，”派普道，最近瓦迩开始从国王塔上她自己的窗前张望他们。“她在等你呢。”
“You broke the heart of the wildling princess, Slayer,” said Pyp. Of late, Val had taken to watching them from the window of her chamber in the King’s Tower. “She was looking for you.”
“她才没有！别这么说！”山姆只跟瓦迩说过两回话，那还是随伊蒙学士去探望她，以确保孩子健康的时候。野人公主貌美如花，他在她面前总是结结巴巴，涨红了脸。
“She was not! Don’t say that!” Sam had only spoken to Val twice, when Maester Aemon called upon her to make sure the babes were healthy. The princess was so pretty that he oft found himself stammering and blushing in her presence.
“为什么不呢？”派普反问，“她想要怀你的孩子。也许我们该叫你‘风流浪子’山姆才对。”
“Why not?” asked Pyp. “She wants to have your children. Maybe we should call you Sam the Seducer.”
山姆涨红了脸。他知道史坦尼斯国王对瓦迩有安排——她是结合北方人与自由民，让他们和睦相处的关键棋子。“我今天没时间练习长弓，我得去见琼恩。”
Sam reddened. King Stannis had plans for Val, he knew; she was the mortar with which he meant to seal the peace between the northmen and the free folk. “I don’t have time for archery today, I need to go see Jon.”
“琼恩？琼恩？我们认识琼恩吗，葛兰？”
“Jon? Jon? Do we know anyone named Jon, Grenn?”
“他是指总司令大人。”
“He means the Lord Commander.”
“喔喔喔——伟大的雪诺大人。当然了。不过，你干嘛跟他约会？他又不会扭耳朵。”派普扭了扭自己的耳朵，以示能耐。他长着一对冻得通红的招风耳。“现在他真成了雪诺大人，相对于我们，实在太尊贵了。”
“Ohhh. The Great Lord Snow. To be sure. Why do you want to see him? He can’t even wiggle his ears.” Pyp wiggled his, to show he could. They were large ears, and red from cold. “He’s Lord Snow for true now, too bloody highborn for the likes of us.”
“琼恩有他的责任，”山姆替朋友辩护，“长城是他的了，他必须统筹全局。”
“Jon has duties,” Sam said in his defense. “The Wall is his, and all that goes with it.”
“一个人对他的朋友也有责任。要不是我们帮忙，当上总司令的也许是杰诺斯·史林特呢，然后史林特大人会派雪诺赤身裸体骑着骡子去巡逻。‘赶往卡斯特的堡垒’，他会如此下令，‘把熊老的斗篷和靴子给我拿回来。’我们帮他避免了难堪，现在他的责任太多，居然连到壁炉边喝杯热酒的工夫都没有？”
“A man has duties to his friends as well. If not for us, Janos Slynt might be our lord commander. Lord Janos would have sent Snow ranging naked on a mule. ‘Scamper on up to Craster’s Keep,’ he would have said, ‘and fetch me back the Old Bear’s cloak and boots.’ We saved him from that, but now he has too many duties to drink a cup of mulled wine by the fire?”
葛兰表示赞同。“他的责任没妨碍他下校场。基本上，他天天都在那儿打斗。”
Grenn agreed. “His duties don’t keep him from the yard. More days than not, he’s out there fighting someone.”
这是事实，山姆不得不承认。有一次，当琼恩来和伊蒙师傅谈话时，山姆问他为何花那么多时间练剑。“熊老作总司令时根本不怎么参加日常训练。”山姆指出。作为回答，琼恩将长爪交到山姆手中，要他感觉这把剑的轻盈与平衡，并让他旋转剑刃，观察烟灰色金属中闪现的波纹。“这是瓦雷利亚钢剑，”他说，“以魔法锻冶而成，锋利无比，几乎坚不可摧。剑士应该和他的剑合为一体，山姆，然而长爪是瓦雷利亚钢，我不是。断掌要杀我就跟你拍死一只虫子那么容易。”
That was true, Sam had to admit. Once, when Jon came to consult with Maester Aemon, Sam had asked him why he spent so much time at swordplay. “The Old Bear never trained much when he was Lord Commander,” he had pointed out. In answer, Jon had pressed Longclaw into Sam’s hand. He let him feel the lightness, the balance, had him turn the blade so that ripples gleamed in the smoke-dark metal. “Valyrian steel,” he said, “spell-forged and razor-sharp, nigh on indestructible. A swordsman should be as good as his sword, Sam. Longclaw is Valyrian steel, but I’m not. The Halfhand could have killed me as easy as you swat a bug.”
山姆把剑递回去。“我老拍不到虫子，它们会飞，我经常打中胳膊，疼极了。”
Sam handed back the sword. “When I try to swat a bug, it always flies away. All I do is slap my arm. It stings.”
琼恩笑了。“好吧。科林杀我就像你喝粥那么快。”山姆喜欢喝粥，尤其是掺了蜂蜜的甜粥。
That made Jon laugh. “As you will. Qhorin could have killed me as easy as you eat a bowl of porridge.” Sam was fond of porridge, especially when it was sweetened with honey.
“我没时间闲聊。”山姆离开朋友们，向军械库走去，一路把书本紧紧抓在胸前，这让他联想起了誓言：守护王国的坚盾。唉，假如七国的老百姓们意识到守护王国的是葛兰、派普和忧郁的艾迪·托勒特这号人，真不知会如何评论。
“I don’t have time for this.” Sam left his friends and made his way toward the armory, clutching his books to his chest. I am the shield that guards the realms of men, he remembered. He wondered what those men would say if they realized their realms were being guarded by the likes of Grenn, Pyp, and Dolorous Edd.
司令塔内部已被大火焚毁，而史坦尼斯·拜拉席恩占据国王塔作为居所，因此琼恩·雪诺住在军械库后面，昔日属于唐纳·诺伊的简陋房间。山姆到达时吉莉刚要离开，她裹着一件旧斗篷，那是他俩逃离卡斯特的堡垒时山姆给她的。她几乎直接奔了过去，但山姆抓住她的手臂，两本书因之掉下来。“吉莉。”
The Lord Commander’s Tower had been gutted by fire, and Stannis Baratheon had claimed the King’s Tower for his own residence, so Jon Snow had established himself in Donal Noye’s modest quarters behind the armory. Gilly was leaving as Sam arrived, wrapped up in the old cloak he’d given her when they were fleeing Craster’s Keep. She almost rushed right past him, but Sam caught her arm, spilling two books as he did. “Gilly.”
“山姆。”她声音沙哑。吉莉长着黑头发，身材苗条，棕色的大眼睛犹如母鹿。她完全被山姆的旧斗篷淹没，然而她的脸虽然半隐藏于兜帽中，但还是能看出在发抖，神色苍白而惊恐。
“Sam.” Her voice sounded raw. Gilly was dark-haired and slim, with the big brown eyes of a doe. She was swallowed by the folds of Sam’s old cloak, her face half-hidden by its hood, but shivering all the same. Her face looked wan and frightened.
“出什么事了？”山姆问她，“孩子们怎么样？”
“What’s wrong?” Sam asked her. “How are the babes?”
吉莉挣脱开来，“他们很好，山姆。很好。”
Gilly pulled loose from him. “They’re good, Sam. Good.”
“在他俩之间你还能睡觉，真是个奇迹。”山姆愉快地说，“昨晚我听见哭声的是哪一个？他似乎怎么都哭不完。”
“Between the two of them it’s a wonder you can sleep,” Sam said pleasantly. “Which one was it that I heard crying last night? I thought he’d never stop.”
“是妲娜的儿子。他想喝奶时就会哭。我的……我的孩子从不乱哭。有时候他会咯咯地叫唤，但……”她眼中盈满泪水。“我得走了，去给他们喂奶。要是不快去，奶水会漏到自己身上。”她跑过庭院，留下困惑不解的山姆。
“Dalla’s boy. He cries when he wants the teat. Mine … mine hardly ever cries. Sometimes he gurgles, but …” Her eyes filled with tears. “I have to go. It’s past time that I fed them. I’ll be leaking all over myself if I don’t go.” She rushed across the yard, leaving Sam perplexed behind her.
他必须蹲下才能捡起掉落的书籍。我不该带这么多书，他一边告诉自己，一边扫去书上的泥尘，那是柯洛库·弗塔的《玉海概述》，厚厚一大卷来自东方的故事与传奇，伊蒙师傅命令他必须找到这本书，幸好，它看起来完好无损；托马克斯学士的《龙王们：坦格利安家族从流浪到神化的历程，兼论巨龙之生死》就没那么幸运了。它掉落时被翻了开来，有几页纸沾上烂泥，其中一页有一幅相当漂亮的彩图，画的是“黑死神”贝勒里恩。山姆一边咒骂自己是个笨手笨脚的呆瓜，一边擦拭书页，将泥巴刮掉。在吉莉面前，他总是很狼狈，而且下面还会硬……好吧，每次都会硬。誓言效命的守夜人弟兄不该有这样的感觉，可是当吉莉谈及自己的乳房……
He had to get down on his knees to gather up the books he’d dropped. I should not have brought so many, he told himself as he brushed the dirt off Colloquo Votar’s Jade Compendium, a thick volume of tales and legends from the east that Maester Aemon had commanded him to find. The book appeared undamaged. Maester Thomax’s Dragonkin, Being a History of House Targaryen from Exile to Apotheosis, with a Consideration of the Life and Death of Dragons had not been so fortunate. It had come open as it fell, and a few pages had gotten muddy, including one with a rather nice picture of Balerion the Black Dread done in colored inks. Sam cursed himself for a clumsy oaf as he smoothed the pages down and brushed them off. Gilly’s presence always flustered him and gave rise to … well, risings. A Sworn Brother of the Night’s Watch should not be feeling the sorts of things that Gilly made him feel, especially when she would talk about her breasts and …
“雪诺大人正等着呢。”两个穿黑斗篷、戴铁半盔的守卫站在军械库门口，斜倚着长矛。说话的是“毛人”哈尔，穆利则帮助山姆站起来。他反射性地谢过之后，快速走了进去，经过有砧板与风箱的锻炉时，不由得拼命抓紧书。一件锁甲半成品放在工作台上。白灵在砧板底下伸展着身子，啃一根牛骨，要喝里面的骨髓。山姆走过时，大白狼抬头看了看他，但没有发出声响。
“Lord Snow is waiting.” Two guards in black cloaks and iron halfhelms stood by the doors of the armory, leaning on their spears. Hairy Hal was the one who’d spoken. Mully helped Sam back to his feet. He blurted out thanks and hurried past them, clutching desperately at the stack of books as he made his way past the forge with its anvil and bellows. A shirt of ringmail rested on his workbench, half-completed. Ghost was stretched out beneath the anvil, gnawing on the bone of an ox to get at the marrow. The big white direwolf looked up when Sam went by, but made no sound.
琼恩的会客间就在那些放满长矛与盾牌的架子后面。山姆进去时，他正在读一卷羊皮纸，莫尔蒙大人的乌鸦站在他肩头向下张望，仿佛也在读羊皮纸，但当它见到山姆，便展开翅膀，一边向他飞来，一边喊叫，“玉米，玉米！”
Jon’s solar was back beyond the racks of spears and shields. He was reading a parchment when Sam entered. Lord Commander Mormont’s raven was on his shoulder, peering down as if it were reading too, but when the bird spied Sam it spread its wings and flapped toward him crying, “Corn, corn!”
山姆将书换到一边手上，用另一只手去门背后的袋子里抓出一把玉米粒。乌鸦落在他手腕上，从掌心里啄起一粒，它啄得如此之重，山姆不由得叫了一声，抽回手来。乌鸦飞回空中，黄色红色的玉米粒撒得到处都是。
Shifting the books, Sam thrust his arm into the sack beside the door and came out with a handful of kernels. The raven landed on his wrist and took one from his palm, pecking so hard that Sam yelped and snatched his hand back. The raven took to the air again, and yellow and red kernels went everywhere.
“关门，山姆。”琼恩脸上仍有淡淡的疤痕，一只鹰曾试图挖他的眼睛。“那家伙有没有弄破你的皮？”
“Close the door, Sam.” Faint scars still marked Jon’s cheek, where an eagle had once tried to rip his eye out. “Did that wretch break the skin?”
山姆轻轻放下书，脱掉手套。“有啊。”他感到一阵晕眩，“我在流血呢。”
Sam eased the books down and peeled off his glove. “He did.” He felt faint. “I’m bleeding.”
“我们都会为守夜人军团流血。戴上厚点的手套。”琼恩用脚把一张椅子推到他面前。“坐下，看看这个。”他将羊皮纸递给山姆。
“We all shed our blood for the Watch. Wear thicker gloves.” Jon shoved a chair toward him with a foot. “Sit, and have a look at this.” He handed him the parchment.
“这是什么？”山姆问。乌鸦开始在草席里搜寻玉米粒。
“What is it?” asked Sam. The raven began to hunt out corn kernels amongst the rushes.
“一面纸糊的盾牌。”
“A paper shield.”
山姆边看边吮手掌上的血。他一眼就认出伊蒙师傅的笔迹，老人的字体纤细而精准，但由于看不到化开的墨渍，有时会留下难看的污斑。“给托曼国王的信？”
Sam sucked at the blood on his palm as he read. He knew Maester Aemon’s hand on sight. His writing was small and precise, but the old man could not see where the ink had blotted, and sometimes he left unsightly smears. “A letter to King Tommen?”
“在临冬城，托曼曾跟我弟弟布兰用木剑打斗。他穿着那么多衬垫，看上去就像一只填鹅。后来，布兰将他击倒在地。”琼恩走到窗边。“现在布兰死了，白白胖胖的托曼坐上了铁王座，他的黄金鬈发上顶着王冠。”
“At Winterfell Tommen fought my brother Bran with wooden swords. He wore so much padding he looked like a stuffed goose. Bran knocked him to the ground.” Jon went to the window. “Yet Bran’s dead, and pudgy pink-faced Tommen is sitting on the Iron Throne, with a crown nestled amongst his golden curls.”
布兰没死，山姆几乎说出口，他随“冷手”去了长城外。话语卡在他喉咙。我发誓守秘。“你还没在信上签名呢。”
Bran’s not dead, Sam wanted to say. He’s gone beyond the Wall with Coldhands. The words caught in his throat. I swore I would not tell. “You haven’t signed the letter.”
“熊老上百次地向君临求助，他们送来的却是杰诺斯·史林特。一旦兰尼斯特听说我们收留了史坦尼斯，只怕再谦卑的信件也无法获取同情。”
“The Old Bear begged the Iron Throne for help a hundred times. They sent him Janos Slynt. No letter will make the Lannisters love us better. Not once they hear that we’ve been helping Stannis.”
“我们收留他是为了防守长城，又不是帮他进行战争。”山姆把信快速地重读一遍。“这里面说得很清楚。”
“Only to defend the Wall, not in his rebellion.” Sam read the letter quickly once again. “That’s what it says here.”
“泰温公爵会在意其中差别吗？”琼恩把信拿回来。“他为什么要帮我们？他从来没有付出过。”
“The distinction may escape Lord Tywin.” Jon took the letter back. “Why would he help us now? He never did before.”
“嗯，”山姆说，“也许他不愿听人们议论说当史坦尼斯保卫王国时，托曼国王却在玩玩具。那会让兰尼斯特家族蒙羞的。”
“Well,” said Sam, “he will not want it said that Stannis rode to the defense of the realm whilst King Tommen was playing with his toys. That would bring scorn down upon House Lannister.”
“蒙羞？说心里话，我想带给兰尼斯特家族毁灭与死亡。”琼恩拿起信。“守夜人军团决不参与七大王国的战争，”他念道，“我们立誓守护整个国度，而今国家已危于累卵。史坦尼斯·拜拉席恩协助我们对抗长城外的敌人，但我们并未支持他……”
“It’s death and destruction I want to bring down upon House Lannister, not scorn.” Jon lifted up the letter. “The Night’s Watch takes no part in the wars of the Seven Kingdoms,” he read. “Our oaths are sworn to the realm, and the realm now stands in dire peril. Stannis Baratheon aids us against our foes from beyond the Wall, though we are not his men …”
“嗯，”山姆扭动着身子，“我们并未支持他。是吗？”
“Well,” said Sam, squirming, “we’re not. Are we?”
“我提供食宿给史坦尼斯的人，把长夜堡划给他们支配，再允许部分自由民在新赠地定居。仅此而已。”
“I gave Stannis food, shelter, and the Nightfort, plus leave to settle some free folk in the Gift. That’s all.”
“泰温公爵会说你给的太多了。”
“Lord Tywin will say it was too much.”
“而史坦尼斯认为还远远不够。对国王而言，你付出越多，他就索要得更多。我们正如履薄冰，脚底是万丈深渊。与一个国王相谋已经够难，同时满足两个根本不可能。”
“Stannis says it’s not enough. The more you give a king the more he wants. We are walking on a bridge of ice with an abyss on either side. Pleasing one king is difficult enough. Pleasing two is hardly possible.”
“是的，但……若兰尼斯特家大获全胜之后，泰温公爵认定我们背叛真正的国王，那也许意味着守夜人的灾难。他背后有提利尔家族的支持，整个高庭的力量，而且他在黑水河上确实击败了史坦尼斯大人。”山姆或许见不得血，但他了解贵族战争的法则——全拜父亲从小的耳濡目染所赐。
“Yes, but … if the Lannisters should prevail and Lord Tywin decides that we betrayed the king by aiding Stannis, it could mean the end of the Night’s Watch. He has the Tyrells behind him, with all the strength of Highgarden. And he did defeat Lord Stannis on the Blackwater.” The sight of blood might make Sam faint, but he knew how wars were won. His own father had seen to that.
“黑水河之战只是一场战役。罗柏赢得过所有战役，最终却掉了脑袋。假如史坦尼斯能唤起北境……”
“The Blackwater was one battle. Robb won all his battles and still lost his head. If Stannis can raise the north …”
琼恩企图说服自己，山姆意识到，但并不成功。这也难怪，近来，渡鸦川流不息地飞出黑城堡，犹如一场黑翼风暴，前去号召北境的领主们起兵拥护史坦尼斯·拜拉席恩。这些乌儿大部分是山姆亲手送出的，但迄今为止只有去卡霍城的那只回来了，其余是一片异样的沉默。
He’s trying to convince himself, Sam realized, but he can’t. The ravens had gone forth from Castle Black in a storm of black wings, summoning the lords of the north to declare for Stannis Baratheon and join their strength to his. Sam had sent out most of them himself. Thusfar only one bird had returned, the one they’d sent to Karhold. Elsewise the silence had been thunderous.
即使史坦尼斯能把北方人争取过来，山姆也不知道他如何匹敌凯岩城、高庭和孪河城的联军；然而若没有北境的支持，他完蛋得更快。假如泰温公爵因之把我们定性为叛徒，守夜人也会跟着完蛋。“兰尼斯特在北境有自己的代理人。波顿公爵和他的私生子。”
Even if he should somehow win the northmen to his side, Sam did not see how Stannis could hope to match the combined powers of Casterly Rock, Highgarden, and the Twins. Yet without the north, his cause was surely doomed. As doomed as the Night’s Watch, if Lord Tywin marks us down as traitors. “The Lannisters have northmen of their own. Lord Bolton and his bastard.”
“史坦尼斯似乎能取得卡史塔克的支持，若能进一步赢得白港……”
“Stannis has the Karstarks. If he can win White Harbor …”
“若能，”山姆强调，“若不能呢……大人，纸糊的盾牌总比没盾牌强。”
“If,” Sam stressed. “If not … my lord, even a paper shield is better than none.”