Those dreams in pieces...

Though most of the time I have different dreams in different nights and even in the same night, there was one dream, just one, which repeated itself quite regularly through out the years. It was a trip organised by the kindergarten. In the dream, we were around 4 years old, all of the little ones were walking in pairs, holding hands. I was not sure where we were going, as we went through the gate of the kindergarten, across the road, towards a little muddy path. We were noisy as we talked, shouted and sang all the way along. There was another little lane next to the path, smoothed out with big bricks. I jumped to the path, trying only to walk on the brick avoiding all the lines and gaps in between. That was until I fell down. It was not a fall like down-to-the-rabbit-hole, the falling was extremely short, and I immediately found myself sitting on a cold and damp surface. Surprisingly I did not shout or cry, I looked up and saw through the hole made by a missing brick and I could see the others passing by. This is normally where I would wake up. Some say, dreams involving falling are linked to your bones growing longer, thus you are growing taller in those dreams. Maybe this is why I am so pathetic in altitude, as the fall was too damn short.

As I aged, I stopped dreaming about falling, but started to dream about all sort of things, sadly I only remember fragments of them. I once had dreams about flying with wings. I remember the wings to be much smaller than I thought of (I used to dream of giant, shiny white wings, like those shown in the Lucifer drama...). They were not pure white, a bit too greyish for my liking, I was thrilled and excited nonetheless. However, flying was much much more difficult than I had imagined. You really need to flap your wings very hard to have enough air fluid under them, enough to lift up your own weight. A short fast run could help at first, I tried once gliding off from a tall building. Near the end of the dream I was finally able to fly across the field, not across the city because it was a very tiring exercise. I was exhausted and my shoulders were sore. It was after that dream that I stopped hoping to have wings.

In another dream involving flying, I found myself tied to a giant kite, a very simple one made with sturdy canvas and bamboo, in a shape looking a little like an eagle. I was not sure how I ended up there, but I was flying, or gliding across the city of Paris with it (I was living in Paris at the time). I had some control over the direction, but not very much, and I was shocked when I realised that I had landed in New York, all the way across the Atlantic. I didn't remember flying over the ocean at all, when I was up there in the air, I couldn't see much as it was all yellow and blurry, very much like a sand storm. When I saw the signs in English on the street, I thought I was somewhere in Britain, but soon realised with the local accent that I was on the other side of the Atlantic. I was in panic, I was not sure how I was suppose to fly back to Paris with my kite. I remembered looking for help from a local college student, she was very kind and invited me into her little flat where I had a drink, some food and a shower. I am not sure how the dream ended, I think I flew for a bit, and also took a ferry at some point. I stopped dreaming about flying after the kite.

It is interesting how I don't dream about eating. Eating, altogether with money, sleeping and sex are about the only things which intrigue me in real life. Now I have had dreams about sex, but I never dreamt of money, nor sleeping (I wonder what that feels like...). The only time I dreamt about eating, I was in a Little-Match-Girl situation, looking through a window at a table full of feast. I don't think it was snowing in the dream but I was very envious of all the food. I was invited in for reasons I could not recall. Upon sitting down at the table, I immediately had my eyes on a roasted chicken, it was golden brown and smells delicious. I was offered an ice cream in a corn before diving into the feast. So when I woke up all of a sudden, my left hand was in a posture holding a folk, and my right hand was holding the ice cream, and my head was tilted to the right as my mouth opened to lick the ice cream, and of course, I was awake before I got a taste...

Most of the rest of my dreams are mystery even to myself, they seem to slip away as soon as you open your eyes, as if the consciousness suddenly realised the subconsciousness is within the reach of the brain and of 'me', and chased it outside as quickly as possible, erasing the dreams all along with it...