2020-02-03

’Yes，Miss Eyre，I was young and foolish then.I was so in love with her that I rented a house and hired servants for her.I gave her a carriage and jewels，in fact I threw away a fortune on her，just like any fool in love.One evening I visited her but found she was out，so I waited on her balcony，smoking a cigar.I heard her carriage arriving.Imagine my horror at seeing her step out followed by a man!You’re so young，you’ve never felt love or jealousy，have you，Miss Eyre?You are floating along a quiet river now，you don’t see the water boiling at the foot of the great rocks，but one day you’ll come to a point in life’s stream where the wild force of the waves may destroy you， where the noisy rushing water may drown you!I am calm enough now calm enough to like living here at Thornfield.I like it because it’s old，and grey，and dark， and yet I hate—’He did not finish what he was saying，staring angrily up at the windows on the top floor of his house.It was a look of disgust pain and shame.I could not understand what he meant，and wanted to hear more about Celine，so I encouraged him to finish the story.

是的，爱小姐，那时我年轻又蠢。我那么爱她，所以我为她租了一套房子，雇了佣人。我给了她马车和珠宝，事实上，我像任何一个恋爱中的傻瓜一样，把一大笔钱给了她。一天晚上，我去看她，发现她外出了，于是我抽着雪茄，在她的阳台上等待。我听见她的马车声到了。想象一下我看到她和一个男人一起走出来时的痛恨！你这么年轻，你从来没有感受过爱和嫉妒，是吗，爱小姐？你现在正沿着一条平静的河流漂流，你看不到巨石脚下翻腾的水，但总有一天你会来到生命的溪流中，在那里狂暴的海浪可能会摧毁你，喧嚣的激流可能会淹没你！我现在很平静，很平静，喜欢住在桑菲尔德。我喜欢它，因为它是老旧的，灰暗的，这是我曾经讨厌的——”他没有说完他说的话，愤怒地盯着他房子顶层的窗户。那是一种厌恶、痛苦和羞耻的表情。我不明白他的意思，我想听听更多关于席琳的事，所以我鼓励他把故事讲完。