你为了什么而争论？

当别人的意见和观点和你不一致时，你的“低级原始脑”会自动进入防御模式，我们开始争论，目的是为了打赢或说服对方，但是用你的“高级理性脑”再想一想，这真的是你想达到的目的吗？

In all cases, try to see things through the other person's eyes so that you can obtain understanding. All parties should remember that the purpose of debate is to get at truth, not to prove that someone is right or wrong, and that each party should be willing to change their mind based on the logic and evidence.

争论的目的不是为了说服对方或证明自己是对的，而是从他人的眼里了解更多的信息，更接近事情的真相。《原则》里面的很多句话都让我释然，比如还有下面这句：

Don't pay as much attention to people's conclusions as to the reasoning that led them to their conclusions.

如果我们把注意力都放在对方的逻辑推理上，而不是太在意对方的结论是否一致，是不是能有效地减少冲突？

所以在你和别人争论的时候，想想争论的目的到底是什么？你是为了证明自己是对的还是为了更接近事实的真相？你是为了在意对方的结论和你一致还是为了学习对方结论背后的逻辑推理？你是为了赢了对方，还是为了赢得对方？