2022-06-06 6 steps to dissolving shame

Shame can lock us in our own prison for life.

Step 1: Understand that shame is nothing more than a thought you have been habitually trusting.

The shame you feel about some ‘truth’ or past event is your emotional experience of an idea you hold in your mind.

Step 2: Where’s the shame?

Get out a paper and pen, and note down some situations in your life where you tend to feel self-conscious, avoidant or anxious.

These are places where shameful thoughts manifest. Brainstorm.

Step 3: Identify the core unhelpful beliefs at play.

Take one of the higher intensity examples from above, put yourself in that moment in your mind’s eye, and ask yourself this:

List out all the thoughts that arise about who you think you are.

You may have to ask: ‘why?’ a couple of times to get to the heart of your answers so that we have a quotable belief about you instead of something situational.

Step 4: Confirm new belief.

Take one belief you tend to think about more than others.

When we find evidence to support a new, more positive belief, the old belief can’t help but seem ludicrous and DIE.

Step 5: Take the new belief and reflect on it.

Absorb this new understanding of who you are and what you are capable of.

You may feel like giggling or crying. Good.

Step 6: Repeat with other beliefs.

This is how to live a bold life free of unnecessary shame. Be shameless.

This is what the world needs from you.