Cancer. Read the result of the diagnosis.
Stumbling aimlessly along the corridor, the sound of the word reverberated in her mind. It was as if someone was shouting the word repeatedly at the top of his lung, screaming almost. She tried to cover her ears but the shrieking simply refused to stop. But in reality there was only silence, terrifying soul-crushing silence. Urged by the desperate desire to put an end to all this, she took out her phone, unconsciously dialed a number...
“Hello, hello? Anyone there?” A familiar voice came from the speaker. It was her ex-boyfriend.
Jerked back to reality by the sudden attack of the voice, she hastily replied. “...Sorry, I was a bit distracted just now.”
“No worries. So, why are you calling then?”
“Well...” She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to appear weak and fragile in front of him.
“Is everything alright?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine. It’s just that... I’ve run into some... some issues, I guess.” She couldn’t bring herself to tell him the real reason of why she called. Vaguely, she knew that telling the truth will somehow get in the way of their communication.
“Ha! That must be a ‘first’ to you. I mean, your are always sort of Superman-like, the female version, I guess... Sorry for that, it’s just that I’ve never seen you in trouble before. So, what’s the matter?”
A bit exasperated by his attempt of jest, she answered curtly. “Nothing serious.”
“You angry? Come on, don’t be. I was just messing around, sorry.”
Ignoring his apology, she said. “I just realized all of those efforts I put into my goal are for nought. You know how I always wanted to be professor before 30. But then’Boom!’, none of that matters anymore. Kind of make me feel that...my life was meaningless.”
“Nonsense, anyone can say that about their lives except you. I remember very clearly asking you to join me in this program and you refused.”
“Yeah, I remember that.” He was referring to the program set and run by an international conglomerate, offering a seven-figure salary. She didn’t take the offer because she didn’t want to be restricted by all the rules, not to mention the enormous stress that will probably come with the work. “Well, then. You made that choice because you want to do the things you like and enjoy your life. That is a good thing. The reason why you made that decision was because you want to enjoy life, the process of it, not the final result. To be honest, I’ve always been a little jealous about this part of you. You can just throw away stuff like fame and wealth, it’s just something that I can never get rid of. I guess, that is also part of the reason why I couldn’t be with you, you made me feel bad about myself.”
“Emm, I’ve never really thought about it like this.”
“Maybe you have you own interpretation of things, but that’s what your choice is saying to me.”
She gave no answer.
He continued. “So, of all people, you should be the least worried about whether or not you’ve wasted your life on a worthless goal.”
“I guess you have a point.” She responded musingly.
“So, what caused you to make this call?”
She remained silent for a while and then answered. “It was no big deal. Simply want to talk to someone.”
“Okay then. Hope that all things go well. And I ensure you that your problem is only temporary, considering you are doing the things you like, nothing can be difficult.” She wanted to say something more, but then thought better of it. With a bright smile, she hung up the phone.
Maybe she was destined to get cancer, maybe fate had condemned her to die young. It’s okay, she thought, fate can make whatever plan for her. But she would never yield, she still had the right and dignity to relish every second she spent on this earth and enjoy the euphoria of life. She could die tomorrow or she could die forty years later, but no matter which, she was convinced that the trip to the other world would be a victory parade.