迷你写作

一、例句

Second, alongside slowing productivity, inequality has risen in most advanced economies, with that increase most pronounced in the United States. (The Economist)

二、句子解析

参考译文:其次,随着生产率的下降,大多数发达经济体的不平等现象也在增加,这种增加在美国最为明显。

和周一的句子一样,今天的句子还是选自 2016 年奥巴马为《经济学人》的撰文(原文链接:https://www.economist.com/briefing/2016/10/08/the-way-ahead)。

这个句式有两个特征:

1)典型的“路标句”:因为句子以 second 开头,我们可以推测上文主要分析的是生产率的下降,所以这个句式是个很好的承上启下句;

2)重点突出:with 引导的伴随状语突出了重点,也起到了更好的启下作用,我们可以推测下文一定会具体写为什么美国的不平等现象最突出,和/或美国的不平等现象最突出具体表现在哪里。

这个句子还可以这样写:

Second, alongside slowing productivity, inequality has risen in advanced economies in general, and in the United States in particular.

这和之前的有个句式的完整版很像:

The success of “Parasite” has been seen as a harbinger of the rise of global cinema in the Anglophone world (in general), and (a harbinger of the rise) of South Korea’s rich film industry in particular.

注意这两个句子中 in general 和 in particular 这对表达的使用和对照。反过来,奥巴马的这个句式非常适合提出或强调一个具体的例子。

当我们想表达“某种情况在某个范围内发生,在某个地方最突出”时就可以使用“(Alongside W,) X, with Y most pronounced in Z”这个实用句式。

三、句式临摹

临摹句子:

Alongside slowing productivity, inequality has risen in most advanced economies, with that increase most pronounced in the United States.

提炼句式:

1)X, with Y most pronounced in Z. 或 X, with Z the most pronounced.(简化版)

2)Alongside W, X, with Y most pronounced in Z.(完整版)

3)Alongside W, X, with Z the most pronounced.(微调版)

注意:

1)alongside 后面不加 with 或其他介词,直接加名词或名词短语;

2)W 是名词或名词短语,X 是完整的句子,Y 是 X 中动词的同义替换,Z 是具体的事物或地方;

3)注意微调版和完整版有差别,但也是非常地道的写法。如果想表达“某事物更突出”而不是“在某个地方更突出”时就可以直接用”with Z the most pronounced“;注意这样用时 most pronounced 前面要加定冠词 the。

造句示范

简化版:

a1) An increasing number of infections have been confirmed worldwide, with the jumps most pronounced in South Korea and Italy.(其中 jumps 是 an increasing number 的同义替换。)

b1) Many businesses have been hit amid the coronavirus epidemic, with restaurants and airline companies the most pronounced (and most vulnerable).

完整版:

Alongside the spread of the coronavirus, stock market indexes have taken a hit worldwide, with the drop most pronounced in the FTSE 100 Index (The Financial Times Stock Exchange 100 Index).(背景:这两天各国的股市指数都下跌,其中最严重的是英国的富时 100 指数。注意其中 drop 是 hit 的同义替换。)

微调版:

Alongside the spread of the coronavirus, stock market indexes have taken a hit worldwide, with FTSE 100 Index the most pronounced.

四、作业

在第三部分中选择一个句式造句,造句时尽量用中文写出具体的语境。

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